The Babysitter Writes

Happy Blogversary, Happy Birthday to ME!

2008-12-31T07:17:00.000-05:00

This is another backdated post, really its January 19, 2009, my birthday! I had passed my blogversary on January 15. I reached my 10,000th hit on October 27, 2008. This will be my last and final post on this blog. It’s been a year of great fun, and I thank my readers for encouraging me to continue. I thank Mindy for being there in the beginning and getting me into blogging in the first place. Lots of you first found this blog once it was halfway done, so you can always look through the archives if you want to read more.

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My Birthday

On my Jewish blog, I put a poll asking you to guess what age I’m turning. The majority said the right age. Some of you knew beforehand that I was turning 20, and some were just good guessers. A few chose 19, I’m thinking that maybe they didn’t read the whole question, and chose the age that I was at the time. It’s a cool age to celebrate, I am now 2 decades old!

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What Bloggers said about “The Babysitter”

If you wrote about me, and I didn’t include you, then please link me to it so I can include it. Thank You!

Frum Punk:

The Babysitter: Adorably awesome and always alert, Babysitter builds upon bounties of brilliance. Channeling child care with life lessons, she seldom sees anything but the best in any situation.

Mike In Midwood:

Babysitter: A blog on babysitting and handling children. Usually gets into the psychology of children or parents in different actions. And at this very moment the babysitter is on a streak of "rights".

Child Ish Behavior:

The Babysitter- She will watch your kids(if you tell her in advance), comment on lots of blogs, and tell you how to put a good spin on things.

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Key Word Analysis

I’ve had a bunch of interesting keyword searches of how people came to my blog, but I didn’t think of saving it from the website, and once it went over 500, they all got erased and now its only the keyword searches since the 500th one. But some of the main ones were “excuses for not babysitting”, “spoiled children help”, “why kids don’t like sleep”, “Connie Talbot”, “Isaac Hersh”, and “kids shower products”.

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Bloggers I have Met

Mindy, Jessica, Jacob Da Jew, Child Ish Behavior, Frum Skeptic, Moshe, Frum Punk, Bas Melach, and Sweety.

Bloggers not included in meet ups, I met individually. Mindy I had known beforehand. Jessica, I didn’t really get to meet, but I got to see her one time from the city bus window. Jacob Da Jew I met one shabbos, cause he came to a neighbors house, it was a pleasant surprise, but I was a bit shy. My mother actually remembered him from a time he sang at my neighbor’s son’s bar mitzvah. So it was a cool small world.

Meetup #1

About the famous blogger meetup that was written up about already 3 times, I will now say over my side of it. First here’s Frum Punx, Frum Skeptic’s and childish’s.

So at first I wasn’t going to go, but then I decided to go and was so happy I went. Frum Skeptic was really kind to meet me half way, and then I felt more comfortable, cause I had time to get to know her. When we got to Moshe’s house, I got to see his cute little Shlomik playing ball in the drive way with his grandmother. Then Frum Skeptic and I were brought into the house where we waited for the others to come back from shul.

I’ll skip all the extra stuff, and get right to the people stuff. So when I was walking over to Moshe’s house with FrumSkeptic, she told me that Frum Punk was going to be there too. I hadn’t known this, and it was a cool surprise. So Frum Punk comes in and asks people their names, then he turns to me and asks my name, and it took me a few minutes to realize which name he was talking about, I was unsure if I was supposed to say “The Babysitter” or my real name. But then at the end I said both, and that was solved.

Then Moshe brought out the food, and I learned about the Russian Volba from Frum Skeptic. It was interesting and kinda gross at the same time, to see her peel away the fish skin and eat the fish as if it was a snack. Although she said that usually her father does that part for her, so she wasn’t used to peeling the fish. She said that in school she would bring it for snack sometimes, and that it would smell bad, but it still tasted good. It was cool to find out about different cultures. But yet this didn’t make me loose my appetite.

Then Moshe brought out his Dafina, I tried to eat a bit of it, but it wasn’t my taste. Moshe kept insisting that I eat and wanted to know why I didn’t eat anything. I told him the food was just too interesting or too fancy for me. I really do like eating.

Then we had lots of discussions about all kinds of stuff. At one point I embarrassed myself by blurting out something without thinking. I mistakenly said one abbreviation instead of another, abbreviations that were very similar sounding, but had totally different meanings. That caused a bit of a reaction, and Moshe said he was going to write about what I said. Then later when I checked his blog, he hadn’t wrote about it and I was relieved!

Meanwhile, Moshe was very into his drinking and stuff, and he brought out all kinds of bottles for us to try. Childish had no problem trying the drinks. FrumSkeptic tried some stuff too. I can’t remember if Frum Punk had anything, but probably. So then Frum Punk said I should drink something too, and at first I said that I wouldn’t. But then I agreed to drink something, to make up for not eating anything. Or some other deal, I forgot what. So frum Skeptic, suggested some flavored thing, that looked like flavored seltzer, that had little or no alcohol in it. So I drank a little and it wasn’t bad.

Then when we were ready to leave, Moshe showed us some jokes and stuff on his fridge, and his hooka, and the hanging meet on the ceiling. Then I walked home with FrumSkeptic, and it was really fun talking with her, she told over so many interesting stories. Then later she blogged about them, and it was cool to compare, cause I already knew the stories, and she told over more of the details to me. All in all I had a great time! The time was around 5 and a half hours!

Meetup #2

Recently I had the pleasure to meet up with Bas Melach. I was on the city bus going to the designated place to meet her, when this girl on the city bus drops her pocketbook. If you’ve read my other posts, then you know that I love to pick things up, that I get an enjoyment from it. So I picked up her pocketbook and gave it to her. We were sitting across from each other.

Then she asks me my name, I tell her my name, and she asks if I go to the college that was near the stop she had gotten on from. I told her yes I do, and asked her what her name was. She told me her name and I couldn’t believe it. I asked her if she’s friends with so and so, and she said “yes, how do you know?”. So I asked her, if she’s “Sweety"? so it took her a few seconds to figure out what I meant. She was thinking to herself how in the world would I know that. So I reminded her that a while ago, we used to e-mail each other, and she had told me her name then, and I remembered. So it was cool that I got to meet an unexpected blogger.

Then when I met Bas Melach, I had a great time talking with her. We talked about college, and career plans, and bloggers that we knew before, and stuff she mentioned on her blog. Then at the end she said we need to say some “Torah”. I said “what?”, she said that in Pirkei Avos it says that when 2 people meet, the shechina comes down, so you should say some d’var torah or something. So then she took out her palm and played a shiur that she had from seminary, we listened for like 10 minutes from her head phones. Then the battery died so that ended. But it was a cool experience.

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Top Commenters

Finally, I would like to thank my top commenters for commenting on my blog. I appreciate all that you have contributed, and you have been the fuel that has kept me going. I thank all my commenters, not just the ones that made the top 10 list.

And the winners are:

Here’s an award for being the top commenter:

You can put this award on your blog.

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Once again, I would like to thank you all for reading and commenting! I had a great time with this blog, and it really helped me at different points in my life.

At this point I would like to remind you, that if you have a link on your blog roll to my babysitter blog, and haven’t put a link you to my Jewish blog, you can do it now. Because from now on I will only be posting on The Jewish Side.

I will now be changing my blog name to “Jewish Side of Babysitter”

The End!

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Well, not the end, I have an update to make.

UPDATE: I am so extremely very happy to hear that the “Large Family” has had baby #12, on January 20, 2009.

That makes it 10 girls and 2 boys! Oldest is 17! My precious family that I love so much, I can’t wait to be there for baby #12. Even though I stopped babysitting, I haven’t stopped going to them. I play with the kids for free, because I love them so much and get so much enjoyment from it, that no money can pay for it.

What great timing, I had a feeling it would come at this time, when I was putting up my ending post. Such a great birthday present for me! It’s like I just had a child!

Finally Here: My Blog roll - Blog Reviews!

2008-12-30T16:16:00.000-05:00

The post you have all been waiting for! I will go through my blog roll and write a little review of each blog I have on there. My apologies in advance if I leave anyone out. I’m going to go down memory lane now. I really have so much to say, but I see that if I don’t limit what I say, then this post will never be published. I am backdating the post, because I want it to be as if it was complete year of a 100 posts. You’ll notice that toward the beginning I included more links, and the last few blogs I didn’t include any, sorry about that, I was just running out of time.

A Death In The Ballroom – This blog I came upon through “Off The Derech”. She had commented a lot there so I decided to checkout her blog. The post at that time was questioning being crazy. I had fun reading her posts and trying to debate with her about Judaism. She had put up a music video from the Disney movie Mulan. I had never seen it before and decided to check it out and then I found my own favorite song from that movie called Reflection.
A Frum Punk – I forgot how I found his blog already. I’ve actually read all the posts from the beginning, since this blog started after mine and I found it in it’s beginning stage. It was actually fun to keep clicking on it to see if new comments came up after mine. I really enjoyed reading his posts. I like how he uses humor in a subtle way that makes you think he’s actually serious, I call them “Onion” types of posts. My favorite posts: Negiah, “I need a Shidduch”, “Oy, you never visit your mother”
Bad For Shidduchim – I have to say this is the first blog I ever read, before I even started blogging. I have to thank my friend Mindy for e-mailing me about this blog. The first post I came upon at that time was about what to wear on first dates. I couldn’t tell what kind of blog it was, if it was serious, funny, or rebellious. I then went through the archives and read every single post. I even printed them out to read over shabbos. She writes excellent posts that are humorous and serious but yet on topics we can all relate to or find ourselves relating to. I had fun counting up my points of how many things I was doing wrong. I’ve actually learned a lot from this blog about shidduch stuff that I would have never known otherwise.
Bas~Melech Blogs! – I’ve come upon this blog through Bad For Shidduchim’s Blog. She is a true Bas Melach. In HS I remember they encouraged us to call ourselves Bas Melach, to help us remember how to act, like a daughter of a king. I actually remember a few songs about that. The first post of hers I came upon was about Interplanetary science, it was a truly excellent post. Perhaps even my favorite posts, they are about the differences between boys and girl’s mentalities and how to teach them correctly based on this. Later she started writing about her Camp Simcha experiences, and they were truly touching. She gave me such great advice to me, that I will always remember. At the end of it all she said, “You do what's best for you personally and then move on with confidence”. I think that is so important in life. She makes such a great teacher, her students are lucky to have her, and I’m lucky to get educated through her blog.
From The Experience of a J.A.(C.)P. – She’s one of the few bloggers that I sorta knew beforehand. Back in my myspace days, she would tell me that she had a few blogs and I might have checked them out once or twice, but I never thought much into it. So then I forgot about them. Then years later, I was reading Bas Melach’s Blog and I recognized “Tzipi Caton” so I started reading her blog. She writes amusing stories about JB, and uses humor to write about the trials she goes through because of her previously being a cancer patient. I bought her book “Miracle Ride” and it was one of those books that you can’t put down. I already knew the ending already, so it wasn’t a surprise, but the whole time I was waiting for that ending to come.
Frum College Girl – A college student with great words of wisdom. She had gone to seminary in Israel and sometimes writes about those experiences. She used to comment more on blogs in the beginning, but then seemed to have taken a break from that. She’s made quite a few interesting observations, also told in humorous ways. Some told in poems, some wrote out seriously, and some strange ones. Her posts are all so interesting, none ever boring.
Frum Meets Wolrd – Written by a few from girls about interesting stories that happen when they met up with the rest of the secular world in a college setting. They have some really excellent posts there. Some are thought provoking, and some just make you laugh.
Frum Satire – The most famous blogger that everyone seems to know, read, and talk about. Everyone loves imitating his writing style and what he writes about. He writes way too many posts for me to catch up with. I do have to admit that the ones I read were funny. Although he claims to be PG, I find a lot of times it becomes PG-13 or R. I’ve watched all of his you tube videos which are really great, a truly amazing talent to think of so much to say while ranting freestyle.
In My Humble Jewish Opinion – She writes thought provoking posts mostly about topics of shidduchim.
Insanity Now, Serenity Later – A computer programmer, spelling and grammar “nazi”, who loves beer and anime. He writes about programming stuff that barely any Jbloggers understand, that bring him the most hits from Google. He just had a baby and was kind to share videos of his new baby. He talks about the annoying, silly and foolish things that he sees. He also informs us on sales at glatt mart. He likes interesting food.
Israel Chronicles – A newly Married girl who moved to Israel and writes about the awesomeness of being in Israel and all the different experiences she’s had there. In addition to America V. Israel comparison posts. She also writes great “Erev Shabbos” posts, it really makes you feel elevated and causes a love for the good feeling Shabbos brings.
Jacob Da Jew – A cool blogger, you can tell from “Da” name! He likes writing about how us Jews can be better. His posts are short and easy to read.
Material Maidel – Tons of interesting posts. Also, short and easy to read. Posts of “worth a listen” songs. She’s a frum girl who’s not afraid to talk about “controversial” (tznius wise) topics. One of the few blogs that I have read every single post from the beginning and kept up with! Always entertaining. My favorite Post: Are Romance Novels Assur?
Mike In Midwood – I remember when he first started his blog, and I looked to see at the blogroll and was surprised to see that my blog was the first and only one up there. I felt truly honored. Later more blogs got linked up of course. His blog has became one of the “group”. He likes to write “frum satire” type posts. He’s got some really good humorous ones. I enjoyed the “If They had a blog” post.
Not Just Typical – A humorous blogger who writes in a way that the posts seem like they are facts when really they are made up funny stuff. My favorite post: Help Me- I’m Online
Off The Derech – I found his blog from a post Super Raizy made. Once I found the blog, I read all the posts from the beginning and commented on each one. But after a while it got a bit draining to debate so much, so I haven’t commented much. He seems like a nice guy who feels he has been wronged by the yeshiva system. But yet he is still considerate about his family and maintains the good memories of his frum time.
On Winds Of Change – The second blog I read. I remember being intrigued by a comment he left on Bad For Shidduchim’s post. So I decided to check his blog out. It has been one long emotional roller coaster reading his posts. He has a really caring heart, who believes girls should be treated better. He wrote some really great stories.
One Frum Skeptic – A really great fun and interactive blog to read. She writes about the frum foolishness that she sees. Lots of times I debated with her just for fun, but she is really smart and is strong in what she believes in. My favorite post: Jewish Kosher TV
Philosophy and Mixtapes – I’ve seen her comment often on Frum Skeptic’s blog, so I finally checked out her blog. I left one smart comment and was honored by her response “Babysitter - excellent point. I have nothing in my arsenal that can refute it.”. She has written about her pregnancy experience, now that she had her baby, I’m looking forward to her “Mommy posts”. She also writes about philosophy and Jewish issues.
Pocketful Of Sunshine – I noticed she commented often on Frum Punk’s blog, but I had never checked out her blog, because I didn’t realize it was a blog, then one day I clicked on it and really liked what I saw. So I read all the posts. She wrote about so many things that I felt I can relate to as a frum Jewish girl. Her blog reminds me a bit of Materiel Miadel’s, in that they are fun easy to read posts by a girl.
Roadside Rambles – I first came upon her blog through reading her comments at HaAdam B’Alomo. She always leaves great funny comments. It took me a while to realize she wasn’t being serious, and to take the comment for what it is, but once I got the hang of it, and was on the inside of the joke, it’s been really fun. I’ve been inspired by many of her posts. I’ve linked up to them already in my Jewish blog. When I need some inspiration, I come to her blog.
Shorty’s Adventures – I found her blog from a comment she left on a different blog, and I really liked what I saw. She writes long posts with lots of good links. I haven’t gotten to chance to read a lot of her posts. But I truly did want to. She leaves great comments which I am grateful for.
Sporadic Intelligence – I first noticed her commenting on End Of World’s blog. Then End of World disappeared and I continued checking out her blog and commenting. I remember reading her posts and feeling I can relate to them. I look up to her for being strong in what she believes in and following it, no matter what everyone else seems to think. She’s a teacher, and sometimes writes about her observations of her students. All her posts have a point to them, sometimes you have to concentrate on that fact in order to find it.
The Sabra – Kind of a partner with Rachel as a commenter on HaAdam B’Almo’s blog. She also writes great inspiring posts. She writes about all that goes on in Israel. She once gave me a link to one of her Israel posts, so I can better understand what is is about Israel that is so great.
HaAdam B’Almo – I noticed he commented a lot on Frum Skeptic’s blog, but I had never clicked on his blog, because he had a “long Hebrew name”. Then one time I checked his blog out and it was really interesting. He wrote about thoughts on relationships and different Halachic kind of posts.

Blogs that I awarded:

Blogs that have come and gone in my time:

A Million Bright Lights
End Of the World As we Know It
My Personal Bubble
Personal Rants Complaints and Probs
Shidduchim and other Jewish Things
Sweety

Blogs I’m checking out:

New Blogs:

Additional Blogs by bloggers:

Blogs I plan on checking out:

I think that about covers it all!

Blog Award

2008-12-28T10:07:00.003-05:00

A little while back I received a blog reward from ChildIshBehavior for this blog. Now I will award it to the Mommy bloggers that I enjoyed reading. As for the Jewish bloggers, I will award them on my other blog with the reward Leora gave me for the Jewish blog. So now for the winners!

Leora – I had seen her commenting on a bunch of blogs for a while, then one day I decided to click on her blog and I found the latest post at that time was about Gravatars, I thought it was a cool post, so I bookmarked it to come back to it later. A while later I thought about the Gravatars and that it would be cool to make one, so I went back to that post and made one. Then the latest post at that time was a colorful drawing that Leora and her daughter did together. I was so impressed with the way they worked on it together and read more of her posts, and then since then I’ve been a steady reader. I love how she spends so much time on her posts with the watercolors for her interactive Parsha posts and her beautiful pictures of flowers and skies.
Super Raizy – After I had first started blogging, I came upon her blog and was very impressed with her Mommy skills, and the way she talked about her children. I commented a few times that she sounds like a great mother, and she really does. I remember her first comment on my blog saying how it’s interesting to see it from a babysitter’s perspective instead of a parents perspective. I remember feeling honored when she wrote a whole post about my spoiled children post and complimented me, although I had to correct her and take away some of the credit for myself, that it wasn’t all my own information, that I had actually done research on it, and yet she still said it was great.
In The Pink – by Hadassah Sabo. I had seen her comment on a different blog and her last name sounded familiar. I knew someone with the same last name as her who had a blog so I clicked on it wondering if that was it. Turned out it wasn’t the same person, but I am so happy I came upon it, cause it’s an excellent Mommy blog. The first post I came upon on her blog was a picture of her with Tweety with a question, I actually thought of a good answer and it felt good to have solved the question. I love how she cares so much about her children, and treats them with such love it’s truly amazing. I am so happy she found her KoD!
Lion Of Zion – I know he’s not really a Mommy, but given this, I thought he wouldn’t mind it again and that it would be funny. I am truly impressed by the way he talks about Jr. He sounds like a great parent and Jr sounds like an adorable child. He writes great entertaining stories about Jr’s adventures and yet is still responsible that Jr act like a good little boy. The post about Jr’s first day of school was really touching, to see it from the father’s perspective, and the child’s.
Ricki’s Mom – all I can say is wow to this one! It continues to amaze me how she is able to discipline Ricki to behave, in such smart ways that actually work. It’s great to see the pride and love she has for Ricki. I came to her blog through a comment she left on Bas Melach’s post about camp Simcha. I had commented that it must be really hard on them to take care of these special children. Ricki’s Mom had suggested I take a look at her blog and see how these children are really the same. The first post I saw impressed me, it was an innovative way to get children to remember things with key rings of words or pictures on it. There were other cute innovative ideas like a little mail kind of method between mother and child. I enjoy reading her posts, the many posts she writes.
Mrs. Lakewood Falling Down – she doesn’t really have her own blog, while her husband does. But she left great comments on my blog that I just had to check out her husband’s blog. Just my luck when I check it out, she had actually written a post herself. I was truly impressed with the post she wrote about buying a dress for her daughter online and how the people were so caring, and how she then thanked them. It’s not very often that you see people thanking the service people with such appreciation, I was truly touched.
Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner – I haven’t read this blog so much, but I do plan on reading more of it now. I remember the first post I had come upon I was truly impressed by, it was a picture of a nice fancy table set for Shabbos, it looked so royal looking and I thought it was great how she sets her table so nicely, it really adds a respectful aura to Shabbos. Then recently I saw a picture of her chandelier which her kids decorated with dreidels and chocolate coins, I thought that was really cute. It’s great how she decorates things to give the kids more of a feel of the specialness of the Yom Tov, so that they feel they are participating in it.

Thank You all for your wonderful blogs!

And for being the wonderful Moms/(Dads) that you are!

Memes

2008-12-25T16:51:00.001-05:00

I figured I would combine different meme’s into one. So I searched my feed reader to find the memes that I had planned on doing and one of things I found was “Where did the word "meme" come from anyway?” and I thought that was a good question, so I decided to do a little research. I found that there’s a whole website dedicated to meme’s and it had a little information about the source of a meme. So the first Meme I will be doing is a Book Meme which I found from Margo. I’ve seen a lot of Facebook statuses doing this meme or a meme similar to it recently. The second meme is one that a lot of bloggers have already done, I wasn’t officially tagged in it, but Leora gave me the opportunity to do it.

Book Meme

Here are the rules:
Grab the nearest book. Open the book to page 56. Find the fifth sentence. Post the text of the next two to five sentences in your journal/blog along with these instructions. Don’t dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST. Tag five other people to do the same.

“R’ Menachem Mendel of Kotzk asks: Why did Judah worry only about Jacob’s distress? What about Benjamin’s wife and 10 children – why was Judah not worried that they, too would die because of their pain? The Kotzker explains that we learn from this verse that a child does not experience suffering for a parent to the extent that a parent suffers for a child’s pain.”

That came from “Something to Say”, by R’ Goldwasser, the book I use to look up things to say on the Parsha. Being as Tomorrow is Friday that was the closest book near me. This came from page 56 like the instructions said, and from the Fifth sentence, it’s from Parshas Vayigash. I’ve never heard this before, and it was completely new to me. After reading this I thought to myself, that it makes sense for it to be like that, cause normally parents die first, and that’s why it’s so cruel when Natzi’s threatened to kill the parents children in front of the parent’s eyes.

Sevent Facts About Me

Here are the rules:
1. Link to your tagger and list these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people (if possible) at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blogs.

One of the reasons I love the Large family so much is because I see them as my role models and I always wanted to have 10 kids. It became my dream, and I imagined it as such a reality that I even wrote about it in a paper for my English class in college, and my Professor commented back on it: “wow that’s a lot” (I actually checked the paper for the exact words)
I wear 3 necklaces every day under my shirt. I used to have them all out, but then people would comment on it, so I just keep it under, and then when I need a necklace I take one out. I wear all 3 because they are all precious to me, and have sentimental value. One is a little heart shaped silver necklace that I got from the large family when I turned 12 or 13. The other is a silver necklace with my name in Hebrew from Israel that my twin brother bought me when he went. The third necklace is a silver small Magen David that my mother bought me at a fair one time. I like how it’s used as a Jewish symbol, so I like to wear it as an identity thing. (o, and I used to also wear 3 bracelets, but then my grandmother told me to take them off for shidduch purposes)
I like sleeping on the floor, I think it’s more comfortable, and there’s a lot more room to roll around. Although I do sleep on a bed, but when we go places and they don’t have enough beds I like to sleep on the floor.
I don’t like Wednesdays. Wednesday seems to have always been my bad luck day. Everything bad happened to me on a Wednesday. Won’t go into personal details… But one involves a dog, one involves a orthodontist and one involves a van. Plus in school Wednesday’s used to have a bad schedule.
I love Chinese Food. When I was 12 years old and my father got honored at my old shul, the dinner was in a Chinese restaurant, it was my first time eating at the place, and they had a limited menu. One of the dishes was Sesame chicken. It was my first time eating it, and after that I was hooked, and every time we went out I would order Sesame Chicken. Before that my mother used to order for us the birds nest which was fun to eat, or meat with vegetables. Then one time when I was order with my father he said over the wrong thing and instead of getting meat with vegetables, it was beef lo mein. That was my first time having lo mein and after that I loved it and would always order it. So then it became a trade off between lo mein and Sesame Chicken.
I went in a helicopter for a ride. The summer of 10th grade my family went to Niagara Falls. While we were there we saw this helicopter place where you can ride around in it for 10 minutes. So my mother, my sister and I went for a ride. I got to sit next to the pilot. Before take off they snapped a picture. Then we took off and it was a great ride, we had these headphones on to block out the sound of the motor and so that the pilot could speak to us and give us a tour of what we were seeing below. When we would dive forward it was a really scary feeling. You feel as though you are going to fall through. The pilot talked to me to make sure I was okay, and I said I was okay. Then when we landed I felt all dizzy and my ears were popping. We saw the pictures they had taken, and my father bought the picture of the helicopter with me and the pilot and a punch of water fall pictures as a border surrounding the picture. We also got little certificates, that said we had rode in it.
I don’t like Pizza. I feel like I’m one in a million, when everyone talks about pizza and how much they love it. As a matter of fact I don’t like anything dairy, except for ice cream and chocolate and other OUD stuff where you don’t actually see any milk or cheese. Although I won’t eat Cheese curls cause it has the word Cheese in it. I won’t eat Ketchup potato chips cause it has the word ketchup in it. I used to love pizza too, back when I was two. But then after the ear doctor said I have to stop having dairy for a little bit, I was never able to go back on. My uncle tried bribing me to have a shnops cup of milk, and then he would buy me a doll house, but it didn’t work. Even now I don’t have milk and sometimes I get nightmares that I’m drinking milk.

Now, instead of tagging 5 people for the first and 7 people for the second. I will just tag 12 people who will then get to choose if they want to do either one, both or none.

Tagged: BasMelach, EsPes, FrumCollegeGirl, FrumPunx, FrumSkeptic, Jessica, MaterialMaidel, MikeInMidwood, NMF#7, Shorty, Tembow, TooYoungTooTeach.

10 Blog Post ideas in Draft

2008-12-15T21:14:00.001-05:00

Ok, so I’m counting out how many posts I have left and I realize that I don’t have enough posts to write about all the different ideas I had wanted to write about. So I figured I would just make one big post with a little paragraph on each idea, they will obviously not be thorough, so if you have anything to add on, feel free to do so.

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Question: Is the Parents Room Just for Parents?

By my house the parents room isn’t just for parents, more often it becomes the family room where we all gather. On Shabbos mornings as soon as we wake up we go to our parents room and tell them good morning and do some talking. As a kid I remember we had fun jumping on their beds, we would jump from one bed to the next and look in the mirror while we did so. But yet the door did have a hook and eye lock, and there were times when us kids weren’t allowed in. But then if we knocked on the door, then it usually opened for us. At one house I was by I saw the parents had a combination lock on their bedroom door. I thought that was funny and a bit extreme, it seemed like they were in a whole other apartment that way.

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Sleepovers

At what age is a child old enough to go on a sleepover? and should they be left alone or attended?

I remember going on a few sleepovers. When I was 11 years old I went to a girl in my class’s house for a sleepover. I had brought a sleeping bag over, cause I liked to use it as a blanket. At home we figured out that if you put the sleeping bag on the top of the steps and go inside you can sit and slide down the steps in a bumpy fun way. So when I was by the girl’s house I decided to teach them how to do it so they could have some fun too. Thinking back at it now I would never let kids do it for fear that they would topple down and hurt themselves. So anyways, I put the sleeping bag on their steps and went in with my friend and we had fun going down. Then her little little brother wanted to have some fun too. So he asked if he can go in the sleeping bag with me and have a ride too. So I let him in and we went down a few times. Then their mother tells me that I can’t go in the sleeping bag with him. I didn’t understand why not. That was my first introduction/lesson to the rules of Yichud.

Then other times when we had sleepovers we would play truth and dare, and something secretive always came out.

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Getting Lost

At what age can you send children on errands alone?

I was 8 years old when I went with my brother to the bike shop to get our bikes fixed. I found the way there, we gave in my brother’s bike to be fixed and were then on our way home. When my brother suddenly had a brilliant idea “I remember a shortcut” he said. So I trustingly went with him on his “shortcut” route. After a while I realized we were lost. I remember land marks that I had passed that signaled my being lost. So we got to a unfamiliar place and I was afraid so I started crying. My brother tried to be all brave about it, but it must of been hard on him since I was crying. Then a African-American lady sees that I’m crying and she asks what’s wrong. I told her we were lost. So she called the cops from a pay phone at the corner. (It was the days before cell phones). Then the police comes. The police man took my brother and dumped him in the trunk of the car, this frightened me at the time, but I guess they were just trying to play around and lighten the mood a bit. Then they took him out of the trunk and we both went into the car. They drove us home, and I remember my mother sitting down with us, giving us a drink and telling us we can’t leave the house again that day. Happens to be, now I’m always by the place I got lost, because that’s where my college is.

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Fake Vs. Real

What do you think children prefer fake stuff or real stuff?

You’d be surprised but most children will be happier with the .25 ring from the machine than a real ring from the Jewelry store.

When I was younger my mother signed me up at the y to take gymnastics. I’m not sure why, but she offered me a reward if I go. I had remembered going to a girl’s house where she had a fake blow dryer and hair accessories, and I had enjoyed playing with it. So when my mother asked what I wanted as a prize, I told her a blow dryer. So what did she do? she bought me a real blow dryer! I was a bit disappointed at that, cause it wasn’t like the one my friend had. But I didn’t say anything, and pretended I was happy about it. Later on though I actually used it and was happy that I had my own real blow dryer!

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Medicine

At what age should children learn to swallow pills?

All my life I had always had liquid medicine. I didn’t like the taste of chewable ones and I never tried swallowing. So long as they had a liquid version I was fine. But then came the time when I was 16 and I got a root canal, and that really hurt, and the dentist gave me pain killers for that. The pain killers however only came in pills to swallow. I was sitting there on the dentist chair, thinking to myself, “O, no, I don’t know how to swallow!”. With my dentists persisting, I took the pill put it in my mouth and behold I was able to swallow it! I was so surprised and proud of myself that I had this look on my face, that I couldn’t believe what I had just accomplished. Although after that when I tried swallowing pills again it was much harder and didn’t go so easily, so I guess the first time was luck.

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Shirt Buttons

Ever noticed that boy and girl shirt buttons are on opposite sides?

I always wondered why that was. I guess it’s to make it easier for the mother doing laundry to tell which white shirts are boy shirts and which are girl shirts. Although most shirts obviously have different styles, so the side of the buttons shouldn’t be the deciding factor.

While I’m on the topic of clothes and different boy girl ways, I decided that tucking in a shirt by girls just doesn’t look good, and I think it’s even untznius. Although by boys I think tucked in shirts are fine and even look more put together. By girls though I like tucked out shirts better, or at least a jacket or sweater on top of the shirt.

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Exercise

One day I was outside and saw three little kids outside walking very fast. I asked them what their up to, and they said they were exercising cause they didn’t want to get fat. So they jogged around the block a couple of times. They were all into it and serious about it, I thought it was really cute. They made a schedule and a couple of times a week they would jog around the block and do exercises.

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Playing in the street

Do you think children should be allowed to play in the street?

I’m always surprised when I see young children playing in the street, whether it’s a ball game, or just running back and forth. I can’t believe the mother’s let their children play in the street like that. It scares me all the time, and whenever I see my younger siblings playing around in the street I tell them they have to go out of the street. Unless the street is closed down I think it’s unsafe. I tried explaining to the kids that they shouldn’t be playing in the street, but they say that they will be careful, and they will watch out for cars. I tried explaining that nobody gets into an accident on purpose, but they don’t understand it.

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“It’s a Piece of Junk”

I find many times when children get frustrated with a toy/object and they can’t figure out how it works, they call it a piece of junk. They put the blame on the object. Lot’s of times it’s just that they didn’t read the instructions/directions. Or they didn’t take good care of it. So instead of admitting its their fault, they call it a piece of junk hoping to get some sympathy to get a new one or not get blamed for what they had broken.

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Cute kid voices

Adon Olam

The first kid singing had a really cute voice. Before this song he sang “Halleli Elokayich Tzion” and instead of saying “L” he would say “w” so it was so cute to hear him say “Hawewi Ewokayich Tzion”. Anyways, the second boy, is a kid I used to babysit, and the first kid was his cousin. The second kid really has a great voice, not sure if you can tell from this video.

“The Wheels on the Bus” and “The Itsy Bitsy Spider”

This kid is 4 years old, she actually just turned 4. She is one interesting little kid, her voice sounds so sweet you would think she's such a well behaved kid. But she's actually very tough in her negotiations! She threatened that she won't be my friend if I be mean to her and tell her she has to go to sleep. But then the next day when I go over to her she begs me to sit next to her and for me to hold her and everything.

Embarrassing Babysitting Moments

2008-12-07T09:44:00.002-05:00

Reflecting back at my year of Babysitting I started remembering different embarrassing moments. Even though I got embarrassed from them they still make fond memories. A few I have already posted about. About being surprised when the kids school bus driver opened the doors and offered to give me a ride with all the other little kids. About being questioned on who babysits who, in that everyone thinks I’m so young. Now I will reflect back to the top embarrassing stories that have happened.

I was babysitting by the Rav of my Shul’s family. They were going to a wedding, and the younger 2 kids were staying home. So after babysitting, the Rav drives me home. When he gets to my house, he presses the automatic door opening button, and the sliding door doesn’t open. I’m wondering what happened, and I tried to open the door myself, I got it open a little and was able to come out. Then I realized I was stuck to the car door and the car door had jammed. So the Rav comes out of his seat and checks to see what happened. I had been wearing a long skirt, and apparently it got stuck in the car door. I was mortified, I tried pulling my skirt free, but it was jammed. The Rav then was able to pull my skirt free. In a way it’s a good thing it was a long skirt, because it was only the extra part below the knee that had to be pulled free, so nothing showed. But yet if I hadn’t worn a long skirt then it probably would never have got stuck. So after that, every time I see an automatic sliding car door, I think about what happened, and I’m glad my car door isn’t automatic.

So I always go over to the large family on my block almost every shabbos to play with the kids. It’s the one family I truly enjoy the kids, so even though I stopped babysitting, I get to still go over there on shabbos and enjoy them. They have all ages, and for some reason a bunch of them got into their head that I need to learn how to dance for when I get married in the future, so they decided it was their job to teach me. So I had all the little kids urging me to get up off the floor from playing with the baby and to hold their hands and dance. This was in the living room, with their mother sitting on the couch watching. I tried getting out of it, but they were persistent, so I gave in and did a little dancing with them, going in circles, and then one by one with each of them. It was really embarrassing, so then I told the kids that I will just watch them dance. They said ok, and relieved I sat back to watch them dance wildly. Then their father came home for Shalosh Seudos, and was wondering what they were doing, and they said they were helping me practice to learn how to dance for my wedding. I was mortified again. After that when I came home I told my mother how I can’t wait to invite them all to my wedding, that I would have so much fun with them, and that I love them so much. My mother said that I probably won’t get to invite all of them, because it would be a late night and it wouldn’t work out for the little kids. I still hope that I would be able to invite them all, and I would truly miss them. So far no wedding coming up so I get to enjoy them!

This next one I sort of once posted about but not completely. So one of the mothers I babysat by enjoyed teasing me about how I’m a college student, but yet I don’t know so many obvious things that are standard knowledge. It happened to many times for me to remember, each time although I knew it was just for fun and wasn’t meant as an insult or anything, it was still embarrassing, especially when it was in front of other adults. Once it happened because I mixed up Sadam Hussein and Osama Bin Laden. Another time it was because I didn’t know what the Gulf War was about and where the gulf was. Another time it was about why we were at war in Iraq. Then all these other history, current events and geography stuff. I just never enjoyed studying it, so I didn’t pay much attention to all these details, so I didn’t know the answers. Although sometimes for some weird reason I would purposefully make myself look foolish to see her reaction, and I would laugh about it. Whenever that happens, I feel like a little kid all over again, as if I’m testing the parent.

This last story hasn’t happened yet, but I’m imagining that I will be embarrassed if and when it happens. So last year the mother of the triplets gave me a key holder thing as a birthday present, it was really nice and I put her key and my key on it. I would use it ever day to open her door to let her kids in after I picked them up from the bus stop. Then once I finished babysitting there at the end of June, I asked the mother if I should give her the key back and she said that I should keep it in case she needs me sometime to get the kids again and to bring them in the house. So I kept the key, all was good till one day I get to my front door and reach for my keys and find they are gone! I started to worry what happened to them, I figured maybe when I was taking out my metro card they slipped out of the pocket. I retraced my steps a bit and didn’t find anything. I figured when I go to school the next day I’ll look for them. So I hadn’t completely despaired and the next day I had hope I would find the keys. I checked in the hallway and classroom I had been at that day, I checked the side walk, I walked around campus with my eyes on the floor hoping to see something shiny, I checked the city bus stop. But I didn’t find anything, so I then gave up hope in finding it. I had another copy of my house key made, but I didn’t have another key holder, so I just never used it and would always go in through the side door. I was a little bit upset that I lost my birthday present since it had sentimental value. I was afraid to call the mother to tell her that I lost her key. So I just never called her, and she doesn’t know. Since now I stopped babysitting, I can get out of the uncomfortable situation by having an excuse that I’m not babysitting anymore, but then I wonder if she would ask for her key back. Or am I supposed to just call her anyways and tell her that I lost her key? The thought of getting embarrassed by losing her key is what is stopping me from telling her.

“How To Lose A Babysitter in 10 days”

2008-11-29T22:35:00.003-05:00

In other words, how to get fired from babysitting in 10 days. Thank you Child Ish Behavior and Frum Punk for the inspiration. So the last attempt to say good bye was unsuccessful and I figured it would be fun to write up a post on how to get fired from babysitting. I also have to thank the kid I was babysitting tonight for giving me some more inspiration, she asked me to read her an Amelia Bedelia book. Then I thought to myself, that’s perfect, I’ll use Amelia Bedelia tactics, I’m sure those are fire worthy.

Tonight I went babysitting by a different family and when I told her that Tuesday will be the last time I will be babysitting for her for ever, and for everyone. She had a bit of a better reaction. She said “o, because you have finals coming up?, I totally understand”. So I said “yea, I have to concentrate on school work more”. So then she said “what about our motzei shabboses?”, So I said, “sorry, no more”. So then she said “After you finish this semester will you be able to?” So I said, “As of now no, but we’ll see”. So she was much more accepting of me finishing babysitting (Thanks Jessica for the word choice, and Thanks Frum Punk), but she still had a sad face and still tried to grasp any bit she could. She was really nice about it, not at all like the other.

Day 1

Don’t change the babies diaper.
Let the kids eat all the junk food
invite friends over and have a party with loud music
let the kid stay up till the parents come home

Day 2

Let the kids color and paint the wall
let them play outside without their coats on
bring them to a neighbors house without telling the parents, so that they come home to any empty house

Day 3

Go to sleep and let the kids run around wild
let the kids go in the parent room and put on “dress up” clothes
try on the mothers jewelry

Day 4

Let the kids use black markers and scribble up their homework sheets
Talk on the phone the whole time while ignoring the kids
make prank calls by calling every contact listed on the emergency contact list

Day 5

say “yeah, right, whatever” to any instructions the mother gives
come late to the babysitting job
let the children watch TV the whole time
Let the kids use the computer and print out pictures using up all the ink and paper

Day 6 - Frum Punk

Driving lessons.
The roof: Your slanty playground!
Learning to cook.
How to cut up mommies clothes into even better clothes!

Day 7 - Lion Of Zion

raid the alcohol cabinet
let the kids drink the alcohol with you
teach the kids bad words
hit on the husband
hit on the wife

Day 8

leave the kids alone, and go out with friends - Mike In Midwood
threaten the kids if they don't go to bed - Muse
Read the Communist Manifesto to the kids as bedtime reading - Katie

Day 9

after the kids are sleeping, and the lights are off, taking a flashlight and hold it under your chin and make boogeyman noises at the top of your lungs!! - DavenedByDeKoisel
If there's a kid you don't like, then pinch them all the time - Tr8erGirl

Ok, now this is harder than I thought, I can’t come up with another 5 days worth of bad stuff to do. But if you have ideas, you can comment, and I will put it up with credit to your name. I had the idea to use Amelia Bedelia tactics, but I can’t seem to think of any, so any ideas would be appreciated.

Remember, this is all in humor, no babysitter should be doing these stuff.

Good Bye Babysitter!

2008-11-26T23:53:00.001-05:00

Well almost Good Bye. I had decided that it has come to a point where I can no longer babysit. I have to spend more time studying, since school is a top priority right now. So tonight I went babysitting, planning on telling the mother that it’s the last night. So she tells me that she will be home for sure before 11. Then It turns 11 and they are not home, finally 11:30 they come home. Normally I wouldn’t mind if they come home that time, but if you say you’re going to be back earlier, then the minutes seem to pass by slower.

Anyways, after 2 hours of babysitting, they come home and the father gives me a 20, and asks if that’s good. So I tell him I owe him 4 dollars. Then I break the news, I said, but I can’t babysit anymore. So they turn to me and their like “why not?”. I said “I have to concentrate on school work”. So then the wife is like “You can’t do this to us, you have to come once a week, we need you”. I’m thinking to myself "EXCUSE ME!”. The kids are sleeping anyways, I’m not doing anything, why do they need ME to come to watch their sleepy kids, why can’t they just get anybody? There has to be another babysitter they can start hiring.

I hadn’t wanted to say anymore than that, but since I saw they weren’t giving in, I said “But really, I’m starting to fail my classes, I need to study more”. So the father says “what are you studying” I said “accounting”. So he said “I could help you with that”. I said “But that’s not the problem, I just need the time to study”. So then he’s like “The house is quiet here, you can study all you want”. Some people just don’t get it. I know they really need their nights out, considering their partnership marriage. But why does it have to be at my expense? Why can’t they just get someone else? whey are they desperate to keep me?

So then they ask, “Is it just us that you won’t babysit by? what about the A’s B’s C’s and D’s?” I said “I’m stopping altogether, not them either”. “Their like no, you’ll have to make time, we need you once a week”. Such audacity, I can’t believe it.

I had decided earlier already that I’m going to stop babysitting altogether because of this family, she makes it impossible for me to say “no” and I just can’t take it, so I figured if I say that I’m stopping altogether then maybe she would take it better, but apparently not.

Anyways, I’m almost up to my blogversary, so I’m going to keep the blog going a bit longer, till I reach my 100th post, which will also be the same time as my birthday, and the end of this semester, so lots of good stuff coming up.

The Babysitter’s Monetary Policy

2008-11-23T20:13:00.001-05:00

The magic word that everyone understands and loves – Money. We all know money can’t buy you everything, but yet we value it’s importance for what it can buy. We all need money to survive, and to live a comfortable life. However, many people are so enthralled with the concept of having money that they want more and more money to save up, just to say they have x amount of money. Then there are some that will do anything to be rich, they will marry a rich guy to live a luxurious lifestyle of shopping therapy.

Any form of collection are things that make children happy but seem to be insensible expenses. In my days it was Hi beary stationary. It has then gone to crazy bones, and now I hear it’s napkins. Some will view these collections as a waste of money, after all if you look at the item for it’s physical worth, it doesn’t seem to be as high as the price it costs. But yet because it’s a collection it costs more. Children gain so much pleasure from collecting items. They get a sense of accomplishment from the more they collect. Parents can use this to their advantage by letting the child get their collectors items as a reward. The children obviously value it, so they will agree to the reward system. It also teaches the child how to be responsible, to not loose what they have collected, and to trade it wisely. Come to think of it, collections teach them bartering skills, and financial skills.

My view on how to go shopping, is to buy what you need and that’s it. I feel it’s a waste of time and effort to go from store to store to save the .10 or .15 you will save. If you need something you buy it at the store your at. Also, I don’t see sales as a way of saving money, but rather wasting money. Unless you need the item then it’s a great thing that it’s on sale. But if you don’t need the item and you happen to see the sale sign and decide to stock up on it, you have to evaluate your action. Look at the item again, see if it will actually be used or not, and then decide if it’s worth it. It could be that it will just sit in your fridge for days and no one will touch it. The kids may be used to a different product, and they will be left hungry if you buy the sale item they don’t like, and don’t buy the item you know they have liked in the past.

I think children should be aware that things they buy cost money, but I don’t think they should be taught too much on financial skills. There is no reason why a child should be left with guilt to buy something they need, because they are afraid it cost too much money. At the same time, you don’t want to cause your children to become money hungry. If your always talking about saving money, and how you shouldn’t spend money. Then the children will expect money by their birthday presents and will want more money than what they are given, and won’t ever be happy. Both cases will cause unhappy children. So you have to know the right balance to make children aware that things cost money, but not to lead them on to either extreme of being money hungry or self conscience about asking for things they need.

Adopted Children

2008-11-17T18:40:00.001-05:00

There is an elderly couple who got married late and were therefore unable to have children, so they adopted. At first I hadn’t even known the children were adopted. They had a little 3 year old at that time when I first knew them, and I thought it was their natural child. Then a year later they adopted a 2 year old, and everyone was telling her congratulations on your new baby. I was thinking to myself “wow, that’s fast”. When I realized that it was an adopted child. They adopted them from some country far out. The second one was from Guatemala I think.

I’ve babysat by them a few times and noticed some differences. For one, since they are their children by choice they treat them much better, and are much better parents towards them. Sort of reminds me of BT’s when they become frum. Because they had felt something was missing they decided to take action and do something about it to better their life. So they obviously see the children as a gift and treat them well. Also, there’s a certain familiarity you naturally have with your own children that would cause you to get annoyed with them and not appreciate them. When it’s adopted children you respect them more.

So last night I was babysitting there, and right away I was looking at all the kids arts and crafts hanging up on the walls and the toys on the floor, and the toys in the bathtub. It seemed strange for it to be in a house of an old couple, but yet it made the house look so much more inviting, warm and friendly. The other times I had babysat there the kids were sleeping, so I would just do my school work. This time however, the kids were in bed, but up.

So the 4 year old comes out of bed and starts taking books out of his bookshelf and using them to build a house. I thought he was pretty smart in how he built it, perhaps a future builder. He barely talked, kept saying the word “book”. I helped him out a little and he was open to my ideas, so I bonded a little with him. Then after he had used all his books, I asked him if he wants to show me his room. (I always say that to get the kids to go to sleep, it’s the first step). So we go in his room and he continues being busy with his books, so I ask him if he wants me to read him a book. So after going through a bunch of books, he picks one for me to read. It was a version of “The Three Little Pigs”. It was a bit different and put more emphasis on the wolf and the 3rd pig, but the beginning was the same. So when I read the parts where the pig would answer “no, no, no, not by the hair of my chinny chin chin” and the wolf would answer “Then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow you house in”. He would look at me and start laughing. So I was glad that he enjoyed the book. So then after I read the story he put away his books and went to bed. I told him I’m proud that he was a good boy, and he smiled.

Then the 2 year old started screaming and crying. The father had told me that he was teething so he was going to see the dentist the next morning. The father said that if the kid starts to cry then I should take him out of his crib and hold him on the chair and he will stop crying. So for a while I just patted the kids back in circular motions to see if it will calm him down before I take him out. It worked for a little bit, but then he started crying again, I asked him if wanted to come out, and he stood up. So I took him out of the crib and held him, then I sat down on the chair with him on my lap. I was so surprised that he just sat there not crying or making a sound. I’ve never seen a kid like that, that just sits still waiting for you to say or do something. Then the kid eventually fell asleep on me like that, so then I transferred him to the crib.

Meanwhile, the father had been calling and left messages. I hadn’t gone down to the phone since I was busy with the kid. Then when I went down I saw 9 new messages, I’m like wow, that’s a lot. So here is where parents of adopted children are different. They are very protective of their kids. So he wanted to make sure everything was ok with them, so on the next time he called I picked up and told him that the kids were now asleep. I noticed they didn’t have caller ID, and I think their the only ones I know that still don’t have caller ID, I see it as such a necessity because I’m used to it. Anyways, back to how he’s protective of his kids, before he left he told me that the younger kid likes to put his blanket on top of his head, so after he falls asleep I should go up and lower the blanket.

What’s also interesting, is that even though the 2 kids aren’t siblings the older one treats the younger one like his brother, he will help him out and be patient with him. But so far I haven’t seen them fighting.

“Partners” in Marriage

2008-11-12T09:02:00.001-05:00

To me marriage is seen as a partnership between husband and wife. Where both husband and wife are equal, and none plays “Mommy” or “Daddy” to the other. But yet by one family I babysit by, it continues to surprise me how the wife is always bossing the husband around and treating him inferiorly. If one would rule over the other I would expect it to be the husband. For some reason I feel it’s more acceptable for the husband to boss the wife around, than the other way around.

The first time I discovered such a case where the wife rules the husband made me feel bad for the husband. They were both going out and the wife had a hard time zipping up her boots. So she orders her husband to get down on the floor and zip up her boots. When he couldn’t do it because her foot was obviously too big for the boots. She yelled at him “just do it”. So he painstakingly tried zipping it up, and he finally got it up. I thought perhaps she was just in a mood or worked up for some reason. But then it seemed to happen again and again.

The wife bought a cozy coup car for her little girl and asked her husband to build it. He was following the instructions and putting it to together. He seemed to be working very hard on it. I commented asking if the instructions were hard to figure out, since he had mixed up parts a few times. So then his wife said “No, it’s not hard a 3 year old could do it”. That made me feel bad for the husband again, that he got embarrassed in such a way. So I told him that I’m sure it was confusing instructions.

Then last night I was babysitting by them again, and the husbands mother had been hit by a car and was in the hospital. So they were going to visit her. The wife had made vegetable soup that she was bringing a long with her. So she put it in a bag and told her husband to hold it. When he took the bag by the handles, she said “no, from the bottom”. So he holds it from the bottom. Then she asked me to taste some of the soup, I said “no, thanks, I don’t want to taste it”. So then she asks her husband to taste the soup. So she holds a spoon out to him and he tastes it. So then she said “how was it?” and he said “it’s fine”. So then she said “You’re supposed to say it’s great, that it’s better than your mothers soup”. So then the husband said “lets please not talk about my mother right now”. So then he said “let’s get going”, then she said “You’re supposed to say thanks for making the food and for coming”. So then he said “you know that already” and she said “You just want to go so you can get home already to go to sleep”. The wife had told me a bunch of times that she doesn’t get along well with her in laws, and that her kids never see them. Anyways, I thought it was insensitive of her to talk about his mother that way, when she was in the hospital and he was worried about her.

But then I’m thinking perhaps it’s just her personality to be like that. She called me up yesterday morning asking me to come over and babysit while she brings her son to school since there was no bus transportation. I had just woken up. So she says to me “You can come over in your pj’s”. I’m thinking to myself, does she actually think that I would come over in my pj’s? I was thinking that she just says that as if to make herself feel better for calling me last minute.

Beforehand, we had arranged that I was going to babysit there last night, so she said she was going to call me when she wants me to come over exactly. So then when she calls and asks me if I can come over, I said ok and that I was coming. Then I go over to her house and I find her not dressed yet. Ended up being I had to wait a half hour with them till they were ready to leave, so I was wondering why she had called me over so soon. She had been wearing a shell, and at first I felt that it wasn’t tznius, that I shouldn’t look. So I stayed in the living room while she was in the kitchen. But then she called me over into the kitchen to ask me to taste some of the soup. Then I realized perhaps she was serious about me coming over in Pj’s, that she thought it was perfectly ok.

So then she orders her husband to go get her sweater. So he takes one from the chair and gives it to her, and she says “no, not that one, the one upstairs”. So he goes upstairs and gets her sweater and brings it down to her. Now I don’t understand why she couldn’t just get her sweater herself, why does she make her husband into her servant?

Scary Dogs

2008-11-04T13:27:00.001-05:00

I’ll start with a little background. When I was in 7th grade I was coming home from the library, when I reach a corner that had a dog on the porch. The dog was loose, and as soon as I saw it I did the “smart” thing and ran. Of course the dog started running after me. So I was running across a 6 way highway with the dog chasing me at my skirt. It was so close and I was petrified. Running away from the dog became more important than saving my life. I literally didn’t see the cars coming, all I saw was the dog. As I was in middle of the highway, a car stopped and blocked the path of the dog. The driver offered me a ride, but since it was a stranger, I declined. But thankfully for that stopped car the dog turned back around and went back to it’s house. I finished running across the street, and made a complete circle to get to my block, and refused to pass by that house again.

That story obviously didn’t start my fear of dogs, but it was a big factor in my continuation of fearing dogs. The next incident was even more traumatizing since it involved me being responsible for other children, and led to me questioning my capabilities as a future mother.

I’ve been trying really hard ever since to get over this fear. I would judge a dog based on the vibe it gave me, if it was truly a scary dog, and required crossing the street. If there were other people with me, I would let them be my guard and actually walk past the dog. I would think of myself as so grown up for actually walking next to a dog. But I still hadn’t come over my fear, and wouldn’t take chances with certain dogs that I knew would run around and bark. So every day when I come home and pass by this one dog in a gate, I would go out of my way not to be next to it.

Today, however, as I was going to vote, I was with my brothers, I saw the dog there, it seemed to be lying down and it was quiet, so I figured it can’t hurt to walk by the gate. So I walked by it, I saw my brother turn around to look at me to make sure I was okay, and I gave him the sign that it was okay. Then when we got to the end of the gate, all of a sudden I heard barking. It was such a surprise, that I jumped up grabbed my brothers arm and yelled “Omg, Mommy!”. I knew it was okay, but yet I was so startled, that without thinking I reacted like that, as if it was a natural instinct. I used to react by saying “Hashem!” but somehow over the years, I guess it changed to “Mommy”.

Three Guests Meme

2008-10-28T16:40:00.003-04:00

This Meme is from Jessica. Thanx Jessica for tagging me in the meme. It gives me a great way to write about 3 things in one post! I don’t know who else wants to do memes, but if you want to feel free to do the meme. I’ll tag Margo since I know she has done a meme before and may want to do it. I'm also tagging Sabra since she said thank you for the tag.

3 Guests Meme:
For one day you have your choice of guests for meals; one guest for breakfast, one guest for lunch and one guest for dinner. These people may be dead or alive. Please pick one person for each meal and explain why you chose them.

Breakfast: I would chose one of the mothers I babysit for. Since she seems to always want my company. Today she called up and told me there’s a sale at some beauty salon to get a hair cut for 18 dollars. So she wanted to know if I wanted to come along with her to get a hair cut. That she would get one and I would watch her kid, and then she would stay and watch her kid while I got a hair cut. She was willing to pay for the hair cut too. Now this sounds like a great offer. But yet it sounded strange. I told her I would but I just had lots of stuff to do. I was babysitting somewhere else in the morning and didn’t get home till after 1:00. She wanted me to go with her at like 4:00. I have a lot of HW due for tomorrow and I was planning on doing it today. She was upset that I couldn’t go with her. So to make up for this time and all the other times when I wasn’t able to spend time with her, I would have breakfast with her. It would be the perfect meal in the morning while she would be eating breakfast I would just sit and listen to what she has to say. I would maybe have some cereal or nosh. This way it wouldn’t ruin the rest of my day too so I would talk with her in the morning. O, and in case it sounds like I would be talking to her unwillingly, it’s not. I really do enjoy talking with her, she always has something interesting to say and it’s always a lot of fun. She’s like the one adult that I can talk to as if she is a friend.

Lunch: I would chose my mother. I love her so much and she has been such a great mother to me, I’m so lucky to have her! I would pick lunch because it’s in middle of the day, by the fact that we both take off time from our schedule to meet makes it special. We would be undisturbed and get to catch each other up on what’s happening. My father recently found some letters I had written to my mother when I was younger, and I couldn’t believe I had written such things. It gives me a mushy feeling to read it. So I know back then I loved my mother too and I plan on always appreciating her!

Here’s the 2 letters I had written to my mother:

Dear Mommy, I know how you feel about the brace. Because I feel quite bad that she has to go through all of these things and would you mind if I could hug you and kiss you.

Dear Mommy, I hope you’re going to like your birthday invitations. Well listen out for this one. I always wanted for it to be your birthday so I could make surprises for you. And so I also could give you birthday presents. And I hope your going to have a fun time. And your going to love when you see my test tomorrow.

Dinner: I would choose Frum Skeptic. I love reading her blog and commenting back and forth with her on different posts. She always answers back and has so many smart things to say, it’s always fun debating with her. It was great talking with her at the Shabbos meal and I would think supper would be great too. The way she describes Russian food it sounds great, and supper is the perfect time to have such a meal. I would also choose supper because then we could see how long into the night the conversations last, and it would be really cool. FrumSkeptic has such great interesting stories that I would love to hear.

The Good Babysitter

2008-10-23T09:17:00.001-04:00

The other day there were some 15 and 16 year old guys outside in front of my house jumping on a huge tree branch that had fallen down. I heard thumping from inside my house so I went to the window to check out what’s happening. I watched them for a little bit, but then I started to get nervous that one of them will fall and get hurt. So I opened the front door, and stood there for a little to see if they will stop. After seeing them continue, I told them “I don’t think you should do that, you could get hurt”. I was so surprised when they all actually stopped and walked away without looking back or giving one response. Then a family member says to me “Babysitter, you are good, very very good, you’re like a grandmother already”. Then I started thinking, perhaps it was grandmotherly of me to go out and tell them to stop, I mean they are big kids already and they were having fun. But still, the babysitter instinct in me was looking out for the safety.

In shul by Simchas Torah it started off very cold at night, so a woman asked that I close the window. Since the window was by my seat, I closed it. But then later on more people had come in and it started getting warmer. So one mother says to me, “Is it just me or is it warm in here?”. So I told her that more people are coming in so perhaps it got warmer, so I could open the window a bit. So I reached out my hand in back of me and started pulling up the window while still facing her. So then she said “Babysitter’s good like that”. I started wondering what she meant. Then I was thinking perhaps it was because I was being sneaky by opening the window because she wanted it open while other people may still have been cold. Since, she is the mother of the triplets that I have babysat for and there were times when I was sneaky and would give the kids stuff they wanted even though the mother had said no beforehand.

Before Shul for Simchas Torah night, one of the mothers comes over to my house and asks me if I can watch her daughter while she gets dressed, and then after she gets dressed I would walk to shul with her. I asked her what time she’s leaving and she said 7:30. So I told her I was going to ask my mother what time my mother wants to go and then I will let her know, since beforehand my mother said she wanted to leave at 7:00. So then she says, “I’ll keep the door open for you, if you come”. So I asked my mother and she said we were leaving before and that I shouldn’t go over. Then when I see her in shul, she asks me what happened, that she was waiting for me. So I told her that it sounded like a condition, that I might go over if I could, not that I was for sure going to go, and I told her that we left 7:00. So then she says to me, “Babysitter, you are a good girl, when I was your age I wasn’t like that”. Then she started telling me how she would hang out till 11:00 at night with friends from college, and then go out again till 3 in the morning. That she had a phone so her mother knew how to reach her. It was funny to hear this, since her mother was my HS teacher, and it just didn’t fit with her personality.

Now, I love candy but I feel as though I’m older so I really am not supposed to get the candy they give out by Simchas Torah. So the first Nosh that they gave out I didn’t take, I figured I would let the little kids have first, so that there should be enough. Then as they came around with more stuff, I took, so I had 2 things at the end.

Now, here is where you learn to judge favorably. After Simchas Torah at night was over we all went back to our houses, and then I hear a knock on my door. One of the kids I babysit for tells me that his mother left nosh of his with me that I should take home and then give to him. I was thinking to myself, the mother didn’t give me anything, so did she honestly believe that she did? Or perhaps she knew that I had nosh, so she was hoping I would give my nosh away to him? Meanwhile my father had brought home an extra nosh cause he knows I like it, so I gave it away to him so that he shouldn’t have nothing. So the whole time it was troubling me, cause I couldn’t imagine that she would lie like that and expect me to give something up. Then the next day, I see her in shul again, and she asks me what her son said the night before when he came to my house. So I told her that he asked for nosh that I was supposed to have for him. So then she clarified it. What happened was, she told him that his nosh was in a box near where I was sitting. So then he had assumed I brought the box home with me to give to him. But I of course hadn’t known it was his box nor to take it home. But then it all worked out cause the next day he got his candy!

In shul by the night of Simchas Torah, one of the Rabbi’s sons was in the women’s section with his sister. I had seen them one day of chol hamoed on their way over to some rides, so I went over to ask if he had fun. He said he had fun, then he takes my ring off my finger and puts it on his. I let him wear it, then he puts it in his pants pocket. So I said “you made a magic trick, now its gone!”. I was going to get the ring back, but then his father came to get him to come to the men’s section. So then I was going to wait till they were done with laining or whatever they were doing. But it was getting cold, so I asked one of the boys I babysit for to ask the little kid for my ring back. So he went over to the Rabbi’s son who was sitting next to the Rabbi, and asks him for the ring, and he took it out of his pocket. I watched by the mechitza and wondered what the father was thinking as a ring comes out of his son’s pocket. Then the boy brings it over to me and I put it back on.

Foolish but yet Cool Babysitter

2008-10-20T10:32:00.003-04:00

I know it has been suggested by Leora and Childish to have boundaries with emotinal attachment from the mothers of the kids I babysit. But yet it can be hard when they are your neighbor. You end up interacting with them much more, and it’s less of a professional relationship, it becomes more casual.

So one of the mothers invites my family over to her Succah for dessert. We were chatting and eating fruit. At one point in the conversation someone mentions how the fruits wet your appetite and that’s why they are usually served in the beginning of the meal. Then all of a sudden it clicked in my brain and I said “o, I finally get why those are called appetizers” I seriously never knew that the root word was appetite and never made the connection before. So then a family member comments to the mother “Don’t worry she only says such things around you”. Seems like I have a habit of sounding foolish in front of her. So then of course they got into the discussion of the other time when I didn’t know which was Sadam Hussein and which was Osama Bin Laden. I then assured her that now I know the difference, thanks to a commenter in Frum Skeptic’s blog who had pointed out that Osama sounds like Obama, so he’s the one that’s alive. I of course didn’t mention that I got that hint through a blog.

Then the other night I was babysitting by her house, the kids were sleeping. She called me over at 9:00, she wasn’t ready right away, so as she was putting on her sheitel and we were talking. She shows me her tights that she was wearing, they had like black vertical stripes all around. She said she was in love with them and had paid $18 for them! That sounded like a lot of money to me for a pair of tights. She said she saw a pair of tights in the store that she really loved but they were $36 so she didn’t get them, I never knew it can get that expensive. But if mothers are willing to indulge so much on a pair of tights then for sure they should be able to spend some money on their children, (something I plan on writing a post about). Then ends up being her and her husband were talking to me for a half hour. Then the mother says “I think we will just stay here because it’s so cool to talk to ‘the babysitter’”. So they finally end up leaving at 9:50.

As they were putting on their coats, the husband asked me if I would want him to bring me a coat that he can get from work, just like the one he and his wife were wearing. I asked if it would be free, and I forgot what he said in response, some joke. So then he said seriously he can get me the coat. I said perhaps my brothers will want it, so then he said that he didn’t ask them, he’s asking me if I want it. I already had a coat, so I would have said no. But then I remembered advice I once heard about accepting offers. That if they offer, then you should accept. That advice was told concerning one of the people I was babysitting offering to pick me up from my house or if I would walk the few blocks over. Since I was already running late, cause I had totally forgotten about having to babysit, I felt guilty, so I told them I would walk over. So then a family member said I should have accepted the ride. So having that advice in mind, I decided to just say “ok you can get me one”. We’ll see if he actually does or doesn’t.

I hadn’t thought they would be gone so long, so I had just brought a long my cell to listen to some shiurim at Kol Halashon. I listened for a while, to a great one by my previous seminary teacher, she has 46 shiurim there and so far I listened to 2 and a half of the 3rd. Then my battery dies out on me at around 10:30. So I then had nothing to do. I know they offered that I can watch TV if I want, but I just didn’t feel up to that. So for a while I just sat there doing nothing, I was afraid of falling asleep laying down on the couch. So I went through some of their Mishpacha magazines. I saw an ad for a Jewish book that I would want to check out, a book called the code of Jewish conduct, about how to act with interpersonal relationships, bein adom lichavairo stuff. Then I found a cute chabad magazine and was reading that. Then time eventually went by, and at 1:00 they came home!

Am I a Stranger?

2008-10-11T21:52:00.001-04:00

Today I went to the park with my little sister. When we got to the entrance I saw some kids I recognized from shul playing outside in the dirt by the street. So I went over to the kid and started talking to him. There didn’t seem to be any adults with him, so I asked him if he came with his parents, he didn’t answer.

Meanwhile, there were 2 other kids I didn’t know there, and they started talking to me. One was telling me a story of how a few days ago a person went into a store and shot the store owner and then a helicopter came with police man. Then his sister asked me what my name was. I told her my name and asked her what her name was, she told me her name. Then I asked her what her last name was, wondering if I perhaps have heard of it before, she said it in a low voice, so I asked her again, but then it wasn’t clear.

So then I was talking to the kids I knew from my shul and I mentioned how his father did a great job davening for Yom Kippur, and he said “yea, my father davens for the amud”. Then this man comes over, and he comes to the 2 kids I didn’t know and tells them to come back into the park. All the kids go back in, so as I was going back into the park, I saw the father of the kids bring over his son and tell him that he’s not allowed to talk to strangers.

I found the whole thing ridiculous, I never considered myself a “stranger” before. Plus he wasn’t watching his kids, so he should be thankful to me for watching them, making sure that they didn’t go in the street and that they were supervised. But then I thought, perhaps he is right, his kids didn’t know me, so they really shouldn’t have told me so much information. I mean what if I hadn’t been a good person.

I always wondered if the kids differentiate between Jewish people or not, do they know to trust me because they could tell I’m a frum girl? or would they just trust anyone? Or is everyone they don’t know considered to be a stranger? but then how do you ever get to know anyone if you can’t ever talk to them?

But I do suppose the kids aren’t being trained enough not to talk to strangers. The other day I was walking home and I saw this little kid outside crying. I asked her “what’s the matter?” and she just continued crying. Then she cried out “mommy” so I asked her where her Mommy is, and she said she’s in the house. So I asked her if her Mommy knew that she was outside, and she said “yes”. So I figured I would wait outside, just to make sure someone comes out for her. So I was waiting there, then she calmed down from crying. Then after a few minutes she just went into her house. Then a different day I pass down the block and again I see her outside by herself, and she went into a different house while holding a Sippy cup, so she couldn’t be more than 3 years old. That seemed like a young age to have a kid alone outside.

Uh Oh… I Feel Faint!

2008-10-08T12:17:00.001-04:00

Last night I went babysitting and the kids were sleeping. I brought a long a pen and paper so that I can write a post while I’m there because I didn’t have any school work to do. So I wrote out a whole long post for my new blog “The Jewish Side of Me”, (which is having some technical difficulties right now and can’t be accessed).

After an hour and a half of babysitting, the mother comes home. She sees that I hadn’t brought any bags with me so she asked me what I did the whole time, I told her I was writing for a journal. Anyways, somehow the conversation turned to her previous pregnancy. She was talking about how last Yom Kippur she didn’t have to fast when she was pregnant because she had something called placenta previa. I didn’t know what that was, so I asked her “What’s that?”. That was probably my mistake, I shouldn’t have asked her. She got into a whole long discussion about what it was.

Then all of a sudden I started feeling like I was going to faint, I got that lightheaded feeling, and my ears felt like they popped and my face started feeling hot. I didn’t want to interrupt her while she was talking to me. Since we were standing by the front door of her house, I decided to go sit on the couch while she talks. I knew that sitting is supposed to help, so I moved myself to the couch, I wasn’t sure if that was the right thing to do or not. Because then she came over and sat on the couch too and continued talking. I just responded “yea” and “oh” and words like that to show I was listening.

Then it came to a point where I just couldn’t take it anymore, so when I thought she was done talking, I just got up and headed to the front door and opened it. So she said “thanx for coming and have a good night” and I left and made it safely home. I realized I may not be so strong after all to handle such gory information. Just the sight of people after surgery, when they look different gives me a queasy feeling and I just can’t handle it.

Also, I have fainted before, so I knew what it was like to faint, I remember the feeling that came over me, it’s the same kind of feeling of when you get out of your bed quickly and then the fluid in your head isn’t settled so it causes you to feel dizzy and light headed. The last time I fainted was in the orthodontist office, but that I was okay with, I didn’t want to faint here by the house I was babysitting by. The mother gets hysterical over everything, and she wouldn’t have been able to handle it, so thank goodness I made it home.

Refreshing Cleanliness

2008-10-03T13:00:00.001-04:00

Cleaning and Organizing serve as a great motivational tool. People are naturally lazy and would like to procrastinate jobs for as long as possible. So normally you think of the idea of cleaning as a task that seems tedious and undesirable. But really cleaning will get rid of your laziness and make you more enthusiastic about getting things done.

Think of a room that is messy with piles of clothes, papers and junk all over the place. It becomes impossible to find anything you need. So you push off making copies of the paper needed because you just can’t find it. You push off doing laundry since it means you have to go through all the piles of clothes sitting there. You push off doing homework because you just don’t know where to start. You push off everything in general because you just don’t feel in the mood of getting anything done.

This feeling of laziness and procrastination can all be solved by cleaning up and staying organized. If your room is nice and clean and you know where everything is, then it would take seconds to find what you need. The mindset itself of knowing that your room is clean makes you feel happy and accomplished. The trick to keeping everything neat and organized is to put things away and get things done right away. If thinks aren’t able to be done right away then at least a to do list should be made which would serve as a reminder of the things needed to be done so that you can still stay on top of it.

Once a room is clean if you stay on top of cleaning and putting things away then it shouldn’t be so hard to maintain. Since instead of tons of stuff to clean you will just have a little at a time so it will be a less daunting task and appear more manageable to upkeep.

This is one of the reasons why children love going shopping for school supplies at the start of the new school year. They are excited for the new year and want to start off in a organized way so that they can stay on top of their school work. So parents should keep the children excited with the task of buying school supplies so they can feel good about school and want to do their homework. Better to buy the child a pen or Looseleaf they like so that they will want to use it, than to buy any school supply that is on sale.

This is also the reason why school’s have cleanup time where the children put all their toys away. Having a neat classroom helps the children focus better on what is being taught. There are less distractions and the atmosphere of a clean room itself helps them pay attention better.

Giving children baths and washing them up are also forms of cleaning that serve the purpose of making children happy. After a child gets a bath or washes their hands we say “all clean” and then they feel so good about themselves. It’s a refreshing feeling to get rid of the dirt and to be clean. Although sometimes right after their bath they may start to color and eat and become messy all over again. The child still feels good about themselves the times when they are clean. Children who are kept clean, faces washed after eating, usually appear happier, it shows their mothers care about them and are pampering them to keep them clean. While the children with dirty faces and runny noses appear to be neglected.

So the trick to being successful is to keep everything clean and organized!

Why Does it Always Have to Be an Emergency?

2008-09-25T10:19:00.001-04:00

Why is it that people always wait until the last minute to ask for what they need so that it becomes an emergency? This usually happens by children since they can’t really think into the future, so last minute they realize they need some school supplies or something and it becomes an emergency, having to go at an inconvenient time to the store to buy what they need. They also don’t like waiting, so when they want something, they want it right away!

Lately I see this happening with adults too. When people call me up to ask me to babysit, some just call me 10 minutes before, or that minute, expecting me to be available and drop everything I’m doing to come and babysit for them. I think it’s insensitive of them to think I’m there whenever they need me. There are some mothers that are really great and actually do call me in advance to book me, and I am really grateful for when they do that.

I understand if it’s an emergency situation and just that minute they need me and hadn’t realized they were going to need me before. But if someone schedules an appointment, then usually they know about the appointment before that day, and should be able to call earlier. Plus I think its irresponsible of those that call last minute, what if I really was not available and it wasn’t just a case of “saying no”. Then if they wait for last minute they will really be stuck. If they call in advance then at least they would be able to create a backup plan.

Guide For Babysitters

2008-09-21T16:27:00.001-04:00

When I saw this guide for babysitters I got nervous, I would rather just not think about emergency situations arising, otherwise it will just be stressful. By new mothers when they give me emergency contact information, I start getting nervous, and start imagining different scenarios that might happen. So I naturally didn’t like reading this. But I decided to go through each point and see if I am doing things right.

Have the following information written down and readily accessible in the event of an emergency: Family name, children’s names, house address with nearest cross street, instructions on how to contact the parents, phone number(s) of close relatives and neighbors, doctor’s name and phone number along with a medical release.

So far by all the families I babysit, only one has all this information ready. She has a index card with the contact information, and she puts it on the counter when I come. Then she also puts down the invitation with the address of where they will be, and any other relevant information to their night out. It’s part of a routine already, I know she puts it on the counter, but I never look at it, I just know it’s there. One other mother has on the refrigerator a list of numbers and stuff, but I think that’s more for herself, like her little phone book.

In the event of an emergency; call 911: identify yourself by name, tell them you are babysitting and state the problem. State the address of the house where you are and the nearest cross streets (be sure to specify north, south, Avenue, Street, etc.) Give the phone number you are calling from.

This one really makes me nervous, to think of an emergency happening. So far I haven’t encountered any emergencies B”H. But I think this is pretty much common sense, and in case you don’t have common sense at such a time, then I’m sure 911 with ask you these questions so you will know what to say. But I guess this is why its important to have the contact information written down so that you will know the address of the house.

Get written instructions about any medicines to be given to the children including how much and what time to give.

So far I didn’t have to give any medications to the kids I babysit, but if I did then I’m sure the parents would tell me what to give and how much, so this shouldn’t be a problem.

Having visitors while babysitting is a bad policy. Always get approval if you would like to have a visitor.

This makes sense, I never had anybody come over while I was babysitting. Although one time I had a sibling come over to drop off something that I had left at home. I would say its also important for the mother to let the babysitter know if any visitors are expected. One time when I was babysitting I heard someone at the door, I asked who it was and they said it was the cleaners. Now the parents hadn’t told me that they were expecting the cleaners to come. So I didn’t know if I should believe the man, and there was no peep whole to look through to see if he was carrying clothes. Or there was a peep hole and I just couldn’t see through it. So I started imaging that the person was lying and I said I can’t open up. So then the delivery man of the cleaners offered to just put the stuff by the door and that I can take it when he goes away. So I let him do that. But I was still to afraid to open the door after, so when the parents came home they saw the shirts hanging on the doorknob so they brought it in.

Find out who you should call in case of an emergency. Be sure to get their phone number.

So that comes under the contact information part. No one ever gives that to me. I guess I should start asking. I always assume I should call the parents in case of an emergency, and I have their numbers saved in my phone.

Take a walk through the house and check for any special locks, windows that cannot be climbed out of, other telephones and anything that would be a problem in case of an emergency.

I never do that. Sounds like its from some sort of mystery movie. I would assume if the family is living there the whole time, then the parents will make sure everything is ok.

During the walk through, check for hazards and things that the children can get into, such as matches, lighter fluid, electric cords, plastic bags, medication, or anything else that may be dangerous.

Again, I would think the parent would take care of this. Plus if I’m watching the kid I would notice what they can get into and I would stop them, so no need to really do a check beforehand.

Have a mental fire drill; plan on more ways than one to get yourself and the children out of the house in case of fire.

Now this one just spooks me out. I don’t want to imagine there being a fire.

Be sure to find out if you are to give the children anything to eat or drink before bed.

I Don’t see why this is so important. But the parents do usually tell me if they want me to give their kids something to eat or drink before bed. One mother usually leaves candy for me on the table, so if the kids are still up then she will tell me that the kids can each have one candy. Then she also prepares water bottles for them, so she tells me that each kid brings a water bottle up to their bed when they go to sleep.

Make sure all the doors and windows are locked from the inside, and lock the front door after the parents leave.

I never check the windows, although I did learn it is important to find out if they have an alarm on the windows or doors. The parents usually lock the doors when they leave so I usually don’t have to do that. Recently I went babysitting by a two family house. The mother suggested I take the baby out to the park cause it was a nice day. She gave me the combination to the main door to get into the building. She said she will keep the house door open so that I can come back in. But of course out of habit she forgot to keep it unlocked, and had locked the combination. So after taking the baby to the park, I came back, opened the main door, and when I came to the house door, I found it locked. I thought perhaps it was a jammed door so I tried pushing it. But I could tell it was locked. So I was thinking to myself if I should just go out more with the kid, or call the parent and ask for the combination. I realized I don’t have the mothers cell number, but I had the fathers. So I called him, told him what happened and asked for the combination. He said he doesn’t remember the combination, but he can come over and open it for me. Seems like he only can open it by seeing the combination and choosing the letters/numbers, but he can’t recall what it is without doing it. So good thing that he works a few blocks away, a half hour later he came and opened the door for me.

In Case of Fire

-Sound the alarm-yell FIRE as loud as possible.
-If Possible, close the door to the area where the fire is.
-DO NOT attempt to extinguish the fire, but rather attempt to save a life.
-Get everyone out of the house, and do not go back in for any reason.
-Keep all the Children together, and go to the approved neighbor’s home.
-Call the Fire Department at 911 and leave the children with the neighbors. Then go back outside to direct the fire fighters to the fire if you need to.

Now that is the part that I really don’t like reading about!
Here is where ignorance is Bliss!

Protecting our Children

2008-09-14T12:54:00.001-04:00

After reading Lion of Zion’s post and keep hearing about molesters and how dangerous they are, the worst part being what they may do to our children, I started wondering if there were any tell tale signs signaling this guy is a dangerous guy, to keep the children away. From the pictures I have seen of previous “sicko’s” you would have never known what they were up to. I think that is the scariest part, thinking you can trust someone because they appear normal, and may even seem to be good people, and then boom, look what they can do.

I remember going to a park that has a children’s section and another section for biking/rollerblading. I had gone with a young girl to the children’s section, she went on the swings, and played around a bit. Then we were sitting on the bench taking a break before the long walk home. I noticed this 40/50 year old man come in on rollerblades with his shirt open and sunglasses on. He started rollerblading leisurely around the kid’s area. Now I started thinking this was weird, if there’s a whole mile circle for rollerblading, why would he come into the kids section? Could this possibly be a sign that he was looking at the little kids and was going to do something dangerous to one of them?

Then another guy with a weird looking face, also 40/50 age range came into the children’s section with a radio, and he was just walking around. Perhaps he came into the area to sit on a bench, but he didn’t sit down anywhere, he was just looking around. Could this also be a sign? I mean why would grown ups come into the kid’s section if they have no kid’s with them? Or perhaps that’s just being paranoid. But it is better to be safe than sorry, so I would say if you start seeing strange people walking around places they don’t belong then it would be a sign to make sure you know where your children are, to keep an eye on them and stay away from the weird looking/acting strangers.

At the same time you don’t want to go overboard. You don’t want to live a life of fear and not be able to trust anyone. Perhaps there are feelings a person gets that warns them when something isn’t right. So perhaps there is no need to worry excessively, your senses will kick in and you will know when someone is no good. Twice I had a weird feeling about some people, I thought it was just myself being paranoid or prejudice towards these people. But then the person I was with said the exact same thing I was thinking, and confirmed my suspicions.

Sleep---Why Kids Hate It and Adults Love It

2008-09-11T10:57:00.001-04:00

Today I had a babysitting job at 8:30 in the morning, so I knew I had to go to sleep early the night before to wake up on time. I had been used to getting up at 10:00 since my college classes don’t start till later. So I went to sleep at 10:00 PM, and woke up at 5:00 AM. I miss the days of going to sleep early and waking up early. I realized how good it feels to wake up early and then by the time it’s 8:00 AM it feels like most of the day passed already. So you don’t leave your house wishing you were still sleeping, instead you feel refreshed and awake. It was nice to walk outside and actually see people outside. Mothers bringing their kids to bus stops. Saying Good Morning to everyone. It feels so good to wake up early and leave the house early.

Now Why do kids never want to go to sleep by bedtime? Why do they always stall going to bed? One answer is because kids only see the present, they only see the here and now, they can’t think into the future. So for them going to bed is like committing suicide. They don’t know that there will be a fun filled day tomorrow. All they see is that they are putting an end to the fun they are having right now. So a way to get kids to go to sleep on time, is to tell them what is to come. Start talking to them about the day tomorrow. They will get excited about what is to come, and they will start to dream about it and fall asleep.

Now Adults have the opposite problem. Adults are to busy worrying about the future, all the problems they have, that they can’t focus on enjoying the present. Therefore adults like sleeping. They want to sleep their day away to sleep away their problems. To not have to think about the troubles that are to come. For the adults, you just have to stop worrying about what is to come. Relax and enjoy the morning and day hours, and do something constructive.

There are some adults though that are a perfect balance, they can go to sleep on time and wake up in the morning at the right time. They are usually the most healthy and happy people. A 9 to 5 job usually causes such a routine. Staying up at night should be for a special occasion, a wedding, a night out, not a regular routine. Some houses have a rule that at 10:00 PM lights are out and no one is allowed to call the house phone line. That might be too strict for some, but if the parents are sleeping, and the lights are out then it will be easier for the kids to fall asleep. While in other houses where everyone is up at 2 in the morning, lights are on, music blasting, then it will be hard for the kids to go to sleep.

Having Large Families

2008-09-04T13:04:00.001-04:00

Everyone always says having a lot of kids is expensive. But yet every time I think of a big family I think of “Cheaper by the Dozen”. In the title it says “cheaper”, so then having a big family should be cheaper, buying things in bulk and so on. There is one family I babysit by, that is up to baby #12. I can’t wait for this baby to come, the family had been away in the summer, and just came back this past week. It was then that I noticed baby #12 is on its way.

This family is my favorite family in the whole entire world. From the day I met the kids when I was 8 or 9, I have felt a connection towards them. I used to play with the kids all the time when I was younger. I had “raised” 5 of them. Holding them when they were babies, changing their diapers, feeding them, playing with them, and everything. I love these kids so much. The oldest is 16, 9 girls and 2 boys. Each kid has 2 names or more, its amazing how they don’t run out of names.

What’s really amazing is, the kids are all so well behaved. When the kids would play outside, not one of them would go into the street. The parents would rest on Shabbos, and not one of them would wake them up, they all knew to be quiet. The kids received all the attention they needed. The mother would sit with each kid and go over parsha sheets and school stuff, and talk with them, and sing with them. They each got one on one attention.

For many years they had a one floor house, and had only 3 bedrooms. Then a few years ago they redid their house and now they have 2 floors, with plenty of bedrooms and bathrooms. They have a big playroom where they have closets full of games and toys. Each kid has a different chore. One of them is to clean the playroom. When I go over there and play with the kids, I always offer to clean the room after I play, or more like I start cleaning up, then the kid who’s chore it is, tells me that I don’t have to do it, that its her job. These kids don’t complain about their “jobs” they have.

Also, with many of the families that I have babysat for a long time, the kids had started getting used to me and misbehaved. These kids I’ve known for the longest time, and yet they always behave and listen to me. Although sometimes bed time can be hard, as is normal with all kids, they don’t give such a hard time.

Now the feeling of love I have for these kids are mutual, which makes it all the more rewarding. When the 1 year old would see me, he would start running towards me. The kids always want me to come to their house on Shabbos to play with them. Although some times I want to talk with the older kids, I end up giving in and go play with the little ones.

Now back to the expenses issue, one big expense is tuition. The reason why they may be able to afford it, is because both parents are teachers. For many years the kids got free tuition, or at least a discounted one. But even by a different family where they have to pay for the kids tuition I don’t think it should serve as a factor to stop the parents from having many kids.

I think having a large family isn’t for everyone, but it can be a great thing for those that are able to do it. It takes great parenting, if you are a great parent then no matter how many children you have, they should turn out great.

I heard a great little dvar torah recently that I found applicable to this situation. It says “Ishto Kigafno” That a wife should be like a vineyard. Now there are different types of trees. There are the really strong ones with no fruit. Then there are the fruit trees with a lesser strength of wood. Then there is the vineyard, which is the weakest type of wood. The vineyard gives all its strength to its fruits. So when it says the wife should be like a vineyard, it means a great mother is one that cares for her children and gives all her strength over to them.

Which is why if a husband comes home and sees the wife sleeping on the couch with all the kids running around wild, he should know what a great wife she is. That she has given over all her energy over to her kids, like a vineyard. So the husband gets it good, when he comes home from work, the wife has already done all the work and cared for the kids, now he gets to enjoy them.

Having Children In Old Age

2008-09-02T22:09:00.001-04:00

I always thought it was funny to hear how grandmothers and mothers were in the hospital the same time having babies. I remember a girl in my class in 8th grade, had an aunt that was in 5th grade. It sounded so strange that the aunt should be younger than the niece. But at the same time I always thought it was so cool, it was unique and interesting.

Recently a lady I know that is 45 just had a baby (she already has 5 other kids). The baby turned out healthy and everything, so there were no complications. The mother had already thrown out or given away all her old baby stuff. So now she got to buy new stuff. I think the shopping for baby stuff adds to the excitement of having a baby. I can imagine it being so much fun to pick out a crib, strollers, and outfits for the baby, it makes it more real.

The mother must appreciate the baby so much more, since there is a 12 year gap from the child on top of the baby. After 12 years the mother had a rest, and now she is ready for more fun, its all fresh again. Then when the mother gets old she will have a younger child to take care of her. The mother will also have help from the older children to take care of the baby. So even if the mother might not have as much energy as when she was 20, she will have the help of her older children. By having the older children help out, they will be gaining, it will be a learning experience on how to give and care for another.

There can be some down sides to having a big gap between children. For one, the baby will become a real baby, and be really spoiled. The baby won’t get a chance to take care of children under them, so they will have less of a sense of responsibility, and will expect to get their way. Since there is a big age gap, they won’t have siblings to be friends with, since the older siblings are already onto another stage in their life. The babies children might not get to enjoy the grandparents, since the grandparents will be very old at that time.

I don’t think people should wait till they are 40 to have children. I think people in their 20’s are mature enough to have children. Even if they are not mature, the baby will mature them. At the same time, I think its great for mothers to continue having children when they are “older”. Unless the doctor specifies otherwise, in the fear that there will be complications in the birth.

wisdom Lost and WISDOM Gained

2008-08-25T13:49:00.001-04:00

Yesterday I got my wisdom tooth pulled out for REAL. Although I lost some “wisdom” I gained a greater wisdom of clarity. First of all, the whole thing wasn’t planned. I didn’t have an appointment by the dentist, just my father was going. So I went too, so that my dentist can look at my mouth and figure out why it was hurting me. Then he asks me if I was able to sleep, I told him “Yea, I was able to sleep, but I couldn’t eat or Talk”. So he decided I should get another wisdom tooth out.

When he took out the tooth he wasn’t even sitting on a chair, he stood, and it went really fast, before I knew it, he had the tooth out. He asked me if I wanted it, I said no, since I already had my first one, I didn’t need another. Everything went by so fast, that I didn’t even have time to think about it. I did notice he used the annoying technique of saying what he was going to do every step of the way.

Now for the gained WISDOM, I realized that sometimes you have to go through a bit more pain so that you won’t have any more pain. Although it seems not to make any sense, because why would you want to increase something that you want to decrease, but it works.

For the past few days, my mouth was hurting me, because my tooth was biting into my check. Since I decided to take care of it, I did get a bit more pain, from the shots. However, in the long run it is less pain, because I won’t have to deal with my mouth hurting me anymore, and I will get to enjoy eating food again. Although it is annoying in the short run, not being able to eat foods I want (at least its not Purim time), it pays off at the end.

Now this applies with everything in life, there is always going to be some pain in having things good. You just have to keep in mind that the pain is helping you heal in the long term. Sometimes, while the pain is lasting we can’t tell if its worth it, if at the end everything will be good, we just see the pain at the moment. But it will all clear and we will be healed. Then the pain will be in the past and we won’t even remember it because of the vast amount of good we have. The pain will be a tiny drop compared to all the good.

Be Honest Or You Will Scare Them

2008-08-24T12:29:00.001-04:00

Last week I was babysitting and the kids were up in the beginning and I had a great time playing games with them, talking to them, and then putting them to sleep. By 9:00 I had the kids sleeping, and the parents were going to a wedding so they would be home late. Since I had no school, I had no tests to study for, so I had lots of time with nothing to do.

I decided to explore the book case a bit to see if they have anything interesting to read. I found a book called “Positive Parenting” By Dr. Tewersky. I started reading different parts of the book. I came upon one part that I found intriguing. He said that children aren’t supposed to see their parents as perfect, that they should understand their human too. There are many reasons for this, which I won’t get into now.

But there was one part, which I felt was important. He said sometimes parents should let their children know what’s bothering them, otherwise the child will think the worst. He gave an example of where a kid sees his father upset, the parent doesn’t tell the child what’s bothering him. Then through different things that happen, the child assumes the worst that his father is getting fired, when in reality it was something much more minor.

Now I don’t think children should be informed with everything going on in the house. Some stuff is just not their business. However, when the child can tell that something is eating up the parent, and they ask what is wrong. It is better to just tell them the truth. Otherwise they will imagine up a story worse than it is. They will think it’s the end of the world, when its not.

Such a story happened yesterday, where I was outside with a kid I babysit for. Some people he knew walked by, and he saw the mother was holding her stomach, not a big one. So he started wondering where they were going. So he asks the 15 year old boy where they were going. The boy answered back that not everything is his business, he doesn’t have to worry himself over everything.

Since there is a hospital a block away, the boy automatically assumed the worst, that they were taking her to the hospital. So he goes into his house, tells his family that some people he knew are going to the hospital. Now I saw the lady passing by, and I could tell she wasn’t going to the hospital because she seemed to be perfectly fine, they were just taking a walk. She wasn’t pregnant, so it couldn’t have been that she would be having a baby. The only thing was in the way she walked, possibly because of her high heeled shoes, it made her appear to not be walking normally. Which gave the child the impression that something was bothering her.

Now if the person would have just been honest with the kid, then he wouldn’t have dreamt up this whole scenario. Children have big imaginations, they will worry themselves for no reason, if you’re not honest with them.

Lesson Learned From Investing

2008-08-19T14:13:00.001-04:00

The lesson I learned from Investing has nothing to do with money, it goes deeper than that. I had $100,000,000 and 200 trades to use. I didn’t bother doing research to see which stocks to buy, rather I just searched for the companies “I knew”. Mistake #1

At first I was hesitant to buy so many shares of stock, so I started off buying 30 shares of Target, Google, Microsoft and some others. I didn’t even bother looking at the price of the stock. Then once I got into it, I started checking every few minutes hoping the stock would go up. I would see it jump a few and see green numbers signifying a profit. All seemed good so I started buying even more shares of stock. It was such a fun game watching the numbers jump.

Then the numbers started turning red signifying a loss. I decided to sell the ones that were giving me a profit, and kept the losing ones hoping they will go higher. Then I bought some more random stocks like Sony and HP. They were all doing good. I suddenly became interested in the VIN news feed item where it would report the market position of the stock close.

I let my stocks sit for a few days then checked back once a while. After seeing them loosing, I was afraid they would loose more, so I sold them at the first time when I saw it start to come up. Mistake #2

Then later on I started following it more closely, I would watch Google finance, see when the stock became very low and I would buy 100’s of shares. Then the stock would go back up and I would gain a lot of money. Lucky for me the market was doing very good and kept going up and up.

But there can be stocks that are just going to keep going down, the companies will become bankrupt and your stock with be worth zero, so in such a case it is important to sell your stock at the first sign of loss to minimize it. Luckily I didn’t have any bad stocks.

The lesson in all this is:

Don’t make hasty decisions. Take the time to research and compare choices. If you make a hasty decision you may regret it later. Don’t go into something not knowing anything. First inform yourself, get familiar with what you will have to do and you will succeed.
Sometimes you have to stick with it, things can get rough and go down and you may seem like things are bad, but then they will pick up and end up higher than it started with. So you just have to be strong through the downs and they will go soaring high. Never give up!

So in life when your making big decisions, which car to buy, which house to buy, which job to take. Don’t make the decisions on a whim, but rather put effort into researching and seeing what is best for you. The more effort you put into it, the more valuable it becomes.

At times life can get hard, children can misbehave and you almost give up hope. But no matter how bad they are, things will turn out good, it is just a stage they are going through. In the end they are the most worthy investment to be made.

But at the same time, you can be in a situation where your in a bad relationship, in such a case it is better to leave right away and minimize your loss before it gets worse and the relationship becomes abusive.

Disciplining Children

2008-08-16T22:55:00.001-04:00

I’ve never liked the idea of hitting children. I felt that hitting won’t accomplish anything, if anything it will cause more hate toward the parent and the child will surely not listen. Additionally its painful to the child and I couldn’t stand to watch a child cry so much from getting punished.

I felt a punishment should teach them a lesson not to repeat their bad action but at the same time it shouldn’t be too painful. So long as they learn their lesson there’s no need to make them feel more guilty. Plus a lot of times I believed that the reason why parents hit their children was more out of anger than for the child’s benefit. The parent was upset at what the child did and took their frustration out on the child.

Recently, I came upon an article of where a 20 year old had gone $5,000 over on her cell phone bill and was therefore hit by her parent, the 20 year old’s boy friend called the police and the parent was charged with domestic violence. I was wondering what the difference is if a parent hits their kid when their little or big. In either case its some sort of abuse. Although with little children they get away with it. But by little children it probably hurts them more and they can’t handle it as much as an older child that can deal with pain.

Then today I heard Shlomo Hamelech in Mishlei deals with this issue. He says there are three types of children. There is the Scoffer, the simpleton, and the one who understands. With each child he explains there is a different way to discipline them.

Basically he says that hitting will not accomplish anything in either child. But he says with the scoffer no sort of punishment could help him. There is no way to correct his actions. However, with the simpleton, you shouldn’t hit him because it will cause resentment. However, by hitting the scoffer the simpleton will see and will change his ways (the scoffer will not be harmed by getting hit). By the understanding son he says you should talk to him and explain to him what he did was wrong and he will be able to correct his ways.

“Strike the scoffer and the simpleton will grow clever; chastise an understanding person and will understand [even more] knowledge.” (Mishlei 19:25)

Kindness

2008-08-15T13:05:00.001-04:00

Yesterday I was walking from the city bus stop on my way home when I see the mother of the triplets I used to babysit driving nearby. I haven’t seen her in over a month already, we waved to each other and I continued walking on. Then I get a call from her on my phone. She called to offer me a ride which was so nice, but I declined since I was already almost home and there was no point in her having to go out of her way. She asked a few times if I was sure, and I said yea.

It was so kind of her to offer a ride even though I don’t babysit her kids anymore. I was thinking it over and I realized it’s amazing how kind people can be. I decided acts of kindness need mentioning.

I’ve heard its a good idea to keep a folder called “Yay Me!” to archive any e-mail someone sent to you that complimented you. So that if you ever feel down you can look back at it and it will cheer you up to know people appreciate you.

I was thinking mothers may need the same boost, that a mother’s job is a cycle doing the same stuff over and over. They may feel that what their doing isn’t accomplishing anything. So sometimes they need reminders of how great a job they are doing. To let them know you appreciate their kindness.

Here is a list of some of the kind acts mothers of the kids I babysit have done (in no specific order):

Letting me know what time they expect to come home
Calling before they come back home
Giving me a ride back home when its late
Putting some nosh on the table
Buying me a birthday gift
Calling me in advance to book the babysitting job
Understanding when I couldn’t babysit and not nudging me
Being friendly
Being Understanding when things went wrong
Letting me watch their adorable kids!

There are so many more kind things they have done that I just can’t think about right now. But I have decided to keep a list and add on to it.

Shots

2008-08-12T17:06:00.001-04:00

The one thing I’ve always dreaded about going to the doctor is the shots. The same by the dentist, I didn’t mind the drilling so much it was the shot that got me scared. Then I finally went to one dentist where they do such a smart thing. The dentist first uses some cream to numb the area. Then when its time for the shot you don’t even feel the pain of the shot. It could be just psychological, but it works.

Doctors and dentists are aware that children dislike shots and they have different ways of dealing with it. Some will tell you not to look while they give you the shot, I find this to work the best. To close your eyes, then you don’t know when you will get the shot, and by the time you get it, its already over. Then there is the other approach where they explain to you every step of the way what they will do. This I can’t stand, it just worries me more to hear what they will do.

Since I know that shots can be painful I have a hard time watching a child get a shot. One time I was babysitting and the kid complained that his fingernail was too long and his mother had warned me beforehand that his fingernail was getting long so he might need me to cut it. So since he was complaining about it before bed, I took a nail clipper and cut his nail. But it gave me a squeamish feeling, I didn’t know how much to cut, since I don’t feel his finger nails it was harder to judge, but I did cut it and he didn’t complain so it didn’t hurt him at the end. The same with putting in earrings, since your not wearing the other persons ears, you don’t know what they feel so you get afraid that your hurting them when your not.

It’s hard to imagine how children are able to give themselves shots, weather its for allergic reactions, for insulin or other things. But then it might not be so bad for these children, since they are so used to getting shots, for them it might not be so bad. After having shots for a month they probably get used to it. The next time they go to the doctor to get a shot they won’t be afraid of it. So even though they have to take a shot often for them it becomes like nothing, so they don’t feel the same dread towards shots as those not used to it.

Video from Onion that looks at shots through a kids perspective, in a twisted way it is funny

Personalization

2008-08-11T14:32:00.001-04:00

I think personalization is great for children to have a sense of identity and to feel good about themselves. There is one family I babysit by where the girl has the hello kitty theme for lots of stuff she has. She has Hello kitty pencils, blankets, and other little stuff. Then she has a huge poster size photo of her when she was 3 years old eating an ice cream, hanging in her room. She has a bunch of stuff with her name on it.

Now she must feel great about herself because she sees her name on the things she has. It gives her a sense of identity. It also makes her want to take care of the stuff she has because its special to her. If it was just a no brand product with no connection to her then she wouldn’t take as much care of it.

This doesn’t mean that everything bought for the child has to be expensive, but if you personalize it, then it will make the child want it more. Just like a birthday card, if someone wrote a personalized message in it as well, then you will keep it and treasure it for the message hand written in it. Same thing, if you buy children personalized gifts with their name on it, or some sort of theme then they cherish it more.

Also, if children have their name on their stuff then they have a sense of ownership over it. Other kids won’t be able to take it away from them. But then again a child wouldn’t be too happy if everything they owned had their name stamped on it. But gifts and objects that are extra would be better with their name on it and a little personalization.

A child should feel good about their bedroom, they should feel they have stuff in it that belongs to them, besides for just a bed and dresser. A child’s room is the one place they can go and feel it is theirs. It’s nice to see when the room is decorated with picture frames or different things the children made. They get to see what they created and they will remember it.

So next time if you're wondering what to get as a gift, you can get any personalized gift, with the kid’s name on it or with their picture and they will be very happy for it.

How Old Are You?

2008-08-07T11:00:00.001-04:00

When children aren’t behaving and doing things they are not supposed to do, parents will say “How old are you?”, “Your like a 2 year old”, “Your older than them”, “Don’t be such a baby” or “How old do you think you are?”.

Now I don’t think using age references helps. If your four year old child is doing something a 2 year old would do, it doesn’t help to say “How old are you? you are supposed to know better” because then when the child becomes 6 it then becomes “Your not 4 anymore”. So the age level is always increasing as the child gets older. If a child sees that the parent is always telling them not to do stuff because of age, then they will realize if when they were younger they got away with it, then now to they can get away with it.

If there are a bunch of siblings at different ages, then the older ones will always be the older ones and the younger ones will always be the younger ones. So you can’t use age references there. It isn’t fair to the older children to tell them they have to give in to the younger ones because they are older. Since if the 10 year old just got a prize from school and the 6 year old sees the prize and wants it, the 10 year old will be forced to give it since the 6 year old is younger. But then 4 years later the 6 year old will be 10 and won’t understand to be able to give, since the older one is always having to give to the younger one, no matter the age.

Rather than use the older and younger terms, each child should be treated as an individual, no matter the age. A 10 year old child shouldn’t be able to take candy away from the 2 year old because that’s taking advantage of the 2 year old who won’t remember what belonged to them. Also, a 4 year old shouldn’t be able to get the 10 year olds stuff even if the 4 year old is younger and doesn’t know better and will get more upset.

What’s That Smell?

2008-08-06T14:57:00.001-04:00

I was on the city bus sitting down in the back of the bus when I started to smell something. I was wondering what that horrible smell could be coming from. It didn’t take long for me to spot the 1 year old on the bus a few seats down from me.

The child had a smelly diaper and needed a changing. The father of the kid was sitting next to the kid and while the kid was standing up and looking out the window, the father would put his head by her back and snuggle her.

Now the father had to be able to smell the diaper since his head was right there, but he must have gotten real used to the smell cause he kept putting his head there and snuggling her. Or he acknowledged the smell but couldn’t do anything about it since he was on a bus.

I think it would be smart to change the kid before leaving your house or wherever you are that has a bathroom. So that it shouldn’t be unpleasant for the other people, plus its not healthy for the kid to not be changed for so long.

“Imagination---Life is Your Creation”

2008-07-28T15:33:00.001-04:00

Kids love to play pretend. They have kitchen sets where they get to “cook”. They have tool boxes where they get to “fix” things. They like doing things where they are imitating what they see done by adults.

If you ask a kid what he wants to be, he will usually say a police officer, fire man, or Hatzollah cause these are jobs they imagine as important jobs. One girl I babysat, when asked what she wants to be when she grows older, she said a insurance broker. She said it because that is what her father is, and she wants to be just like him.

Kids have so much fun playing cops and robbers. Chasing each other around and putting them in jail. They like playing doctor and stitching up a patient. They like playing hair dresser and cutting hair. They like getting dressed up into “Mommy” clothes.

Now why is it that kids like to play pretend and have such a vivid imagination. It is because in the future when they become adults they are going to have to do some of these roles. So now as a kid they can imagine it, see it in a fun way, and get used to it, so that when they are older they will be ready to take on the adult role and do it the real way.

When a fireman, police man, teacher, doctor, Hair dresser or any other worker is asked why they chose that profession, a lot of them will say it is because as a child they always imagined having that profession, it was their dream job. But then there are those that end up in jobs they never dreamed they would have, because things change as people get older and they start to see the world in a different way. But over all, most still value their child views.

Even though a child imagining things seems to be based on fantasy, its actually based on reality. A girl will play with doll houses imagining she’s a Mother. While a boy will play with a Police car imagining he’s a police officer. These are positions that they have the potential of filling, so they are based on reality.

The Digital Age

2008-07-25T12:43:00.001-04:00

This time period is filled with digital electronics. People like stuff that are instant, easy, and convenient. People are attracted to electronics for this reason. I never really thought about myself as having experienced something that is now old fashioned.

There was an eleven year old girl that was going on a late night trip with day camp so she wanted a camera to be able to take pictures. Her parents bought her a disposable camera to use. After buying the camera, she was so happy she had her own camera that she started taking pictures of everything she saw. Now since her parents had a digital camera she always saw them taking tons of pictures. She didn’t realize the difference between a digital camera and a disposable one.

So as she was clicking away taking pictures with her disposable camera, I realized she didn’t understand that when she takes pictures she uses it up and there is a limit of pictures she can take. Meanwhile her parents didn’t stop her from taking pictures, and if they paid for it and they didn’t mind, then I didn’t stop her either. We were all laughing at how funny it was.

After this I appreciate my digital camera so much more. I mean it really is great that you can take as much pictures as you want and then delete some and you don’t even have to develop them all, and you can put them on the computer and e-mail them out. I remember a time when we used to have rolls of film, I thought it was so cool that if you pay an extra amount of money they will put it on a CD for you. I guess that was the beginning of some sort of digital form of photography.

Annoyed

2008-07-20T00:31:00.002-04:00

My annoyances are rationalized. There is one thing that annoys me very much, it makes me go mad. One noise I hear and I feel banging in my head and want to destroy things. Sounds crazy but the noise that causes such a disturbance in my head is the noise of chewing.

I don’t know when it started but all of a sudden I hear someone munching on a carrot and I can’t stand it. I’m forced to sit at the same table but I try to inch my chair away or switch seats with someone else to further me. Or sometimes I just take my own carrot to munch on to out drain the noise even though I don’t especially like carrots.

During the week everything is fine cause I can have my music to listen to so I won’t hear it. Family gatherings or other parties have too much talking and music to hear any chewing so I’m fine. But at the Shabbos table it is the hardest, hearing all the munching and chewing.

Sometimes I feel like I want to take the food away from them to stop them, but I know that’s mean and I can’t stop them from eating just because it annoys me. I can’t ask them to leave or not eat where I am because that’s rude. So I’m stuck listening to it and get angry.

When I’m babysitting little kids and I give them a snack of super snack to eat, surprisingly their chewing doesn’t annoy me. I’m fine with it and could sit with them while they eat without getting bothered once.

Then tonight I got an e-mail about a site called Nice Critic. I thought it interesting and decided to check it out, I looked through the different categories picked: “General Behavior”, scrolled down and behold I see it: “You tend to chew very loudly”. So it does exist, people do chew loudly and it is a normal thing to be annoyed at.

Now I can kindly ask all those that chew loudly to please not chew so loudly in my presence!

Amazing Child Singer --- Connie Talbot!

2008-07-13T20:31:00.002-04:00

Connie Talbot

She is an amazing singer, with a soft innocent voice.

6 year old Connie Talbot sings 6 songs. 5 Live performances and 1 music video.

Songs Include: "Over the Rainbow", "Ben", "I Will Always Love You", "You Raise Me Up", "Smile", "Three little Birds".

Don’t Hide It -- Show It!

2008-07-11T13:03:00.001-04:00

Hiding is not the answer. Most people who say that the Internet is bad, say it because they want to hide the bad stuff out there so that people won’t come in contact with it and then want it. I say the answer is not to hide it, don’t forbid the Internet. Rather teach people out there what is permitted and what is forbidden. Teach them a foundation so that they will not want to do the bad.

Same with children, if you have something valuable that you don’t want the kid to touch, you shouldn’t always have to hide it in places where they can’t reach so they don’t touch it. Once the kid is old enough to understand not to touch, teach them not to touch. If your always hiding things from kids and never teaching them not to touch, then if something is in their reach they’ll take it, not knowing better.

I used to be amazed how certain houses with little kids have plants full of dirt in the dining room in reach of children. I wondered how they were able to keep it there, wouldn’t the children play with the dirt? The answer is no, since the plants were always there, the kids were used to it, the parents taught them not to touch, so they learned and didn’t touch.

Don’t be afraid to have fancy stuff for fear that the kids will break it, you can have all the fancy stuff you want. Of course at times kids will be clumsy and break things, but adults do that too. As long as the stuff are safe for kids then it is ok. Don’t have sharp knives lying around, but then again teach your child that it is dangerous. If you don’t teach your child why not to touch these things, then your going to be in trouble the one time you forget to hide it.

Kill Your TV

2008-07-10T15:05:00.001-04:00

Have you ever counted how many hours you spend watching TV? In a July, 1996 speech, President Bill Clinton noted that, "a typical child watches 25,000 hours of television before his or her 18th birthday.” Most American homes have a TV, people can become addicted to watching TV. There are three major drawbacks to watching TV, one a lack of education, two an increase in violence and three a decrease in health.

Education:

If children spend their time watching TV they are not spending a lot of time reading and writing.
Households that value literacy and push their children to read will have kids that excel in this area.
What is being watched is not nearly as important as the simple act of watching.
When a child learns to read and write, he must access the schema developed in his brain. As he reads, the child creates pictures in his mind and uses imagination and points of reference to put the story together.
It may be that television-bred children's reduced opportunities to indulge in this inner picture-making accounts for the inability of so many children today to adjust to non visual experiences.
Watching television does not develop a child's skills in word recognition, decoding, vocabulary, spelling or high-level thinking.
Watching television may entertain a child, but his passive participation leaves him unchanged, while reading supports growth.
Parents are the only answer to solving this problem.
American youth spend more time with media than with any single activity other than sleeping.
Parents must learn to establish controls in the house regarding media and support reading, drawing and quiet activities.
In order to change the trend of diminishing reading and writing skills, parents may have to do radical things such as turning off the TV.

Violence:

Violence on television is not a new phenomena. In 1968, Action for Children's Television was formed to try and convince the FCC to limit violence and force the networks to show more educational programs for children. In 1983, the FCC ruled against providing any provision for children. One response to this ruling was CBS canceling Captain Kangaroo and replacing it with CBS Morning News.
Violent programs that probably have the most detrimental effects on a child's cognitive development are the ones where the here is justified in being violent. Researchers say, Violent scenes that children are most likely to model their behavior after are ones in which they identify with the perpetrator of the violence, the perpetrator is rewarded for the violence and in which children perceive the scene as telling about life like it really is.

The national institute of mental health has identified 3 major effects of seeing violence on television:

Children may become less sensitive to the pain and suffering of others.
Children may be more fearful of the world around them.
Children may be more likely to behave in aggressive or harmful ways toward others.

Health:

Of all the possible activities in the world, sitting watching TV is probably the most unhealthy.
Television does not promote a healthy lifestyle.
Junk food advertising can be viewed with regularity on TV.
The whole process of watching TV is not an active one.
The diet accompanying TV-watching is high in sugar, fat and calories.
The American Academy of Pediatrics presents some moderate guidelines recommended to parents:

Limit Children's total entertainment media time to no more than 1 to 2 hours per day.
Remove TV sets from children's bedrooms.
Discourage television viewing for children younger than 2 years, and encourage more interactive activities that will promote proper brain development, such as talking, playing, singing, and reading together.
Monitor the shows children and teenagers are viewing. Most programs should be informational, educational, and nonviolent.
View television programs along with children and discuss the content.

In conclusion, watching TV interferes with children's reading and writing skills, causing them to be less educated. Additionally, it makes children become more violent and leads to an unhealthy lifestyle. So limit your children's TV use, and if at all possible get rid of the TV. Like any addiction watching too much TV is harmful and can interfere with daily activities that lead to a productive life. Now with the Internet having almost all the news hosted on their channel websites for free you don't even need a TV to watch the news. If you want to watch something, use DVD's instead so you can guard what your children are watching and limit the amount they watch.

Bad Language

2008-07-07T14:03:00.001-04:00

One of the places where a lot of bad language is found is on the city bus. I remember going on the city bus in High School and I kept hearing curse words. It has become an accepted way of speaking for some. But I don’t think its good for children to hear it. Children will repeat it at the wrong time, and offend someone or get expelled from school even. But sometimes when others hear a little kid say a curse word they may get shocked and think its adorable that a little 3 year old knows such words already. Then they laugh and encourage the kid on.

I feel cursing shouldn't be allowed by kids. But I don't think washing the mouth out with soap is the answer. Just because soap cleans, doesn't mean you can clean out a mouth that way. It's not the mouth that's doing the talking, its the brain telling the mouth what to say. Second of all, soap is not a food and you don't want to teach your kid to put stuff that aren't food in their mouth. Next they'll put Windex or detergent and then your in trouble. Thankfully, I don't think anyone still uses the practice of putting soap in kids mouths for saying not nice stuff.

Now bad language, doesn't just mean curse words. Being chutzpadik also shouldn't be acceptable. Lots of times kids become the center of attention for being chutzpadik. With the right personality a kid can be admired for it. But I don't think it should be encouraged. Even with teenagers and adults they will have disrespect for other adults, I don't know how they have the audacity to do such a thing.

A college student says to a professor:

"I'll quit smoking if you'll give everyone in the class an 'A'"

now after hearing this, all the other students were on his side, cause they wanted an A. Then the student had the audacity to say:

"Now if you don't give the class an 'A' then its all on you, I gave you the choice, now my continuing smoking is on you, its all up to you!"

How can a student dare say such a thing to a teacher?

Now besides for the way you talk, bad language also includes little words people take for granted to be slang. Words like "P***ed off" should not be said. Even a word like "stupid" should be replaced by "silly". Now if that's all to extreme for you, then just stick with the basics. Don't use bad words near your kids. It might be good for shock value sometimes, but its unprofessional and undignified.

For when you get frustrated and feel like you have to curse to get out the anger, instead make up your own word. I've heard all kinds of words used for these times, words such as "door knob", "fire truck". Pick any object you want, and use that word as your "curse word". Or even make up your own word. But don't use curse words.

I especially feel strongly against parents using curse words on their children. It’s bad enough if a parent tells a kid that their a monster or any negative label. But to call your kid a piece of s***, is just horrible. It lowers the kids self esteem and self confidence. It makes the child have negative feelings toward the parent. It causes the child to be disrespectful toward the parent by cursing back.

Going out in PJ’s

2008-07-03T14:36:00.001-04:00

Ever see children out at night in pj’s? They look so comfy looking. There’s something about kids in pj’s that makes them look so much cuter and huggable.

I remember as a kid maybe once going out at night in pj’s. It was when my mother gave birth to the next set of twins. My siblings and I had to be driven to relatives to stay by. Because it was in middle of the night and it was an emergency situation we went in our pj’s, we were still young then.

I used to have nightmares that there would be a fire Chas V’Shalom, and the scariest part was having to go out in pj’s. But it seems like plenty of kids don’t mind leaving their house that way. I’ve seen kids at restaurants in pj’s. I’ve seen kids playing outside at night in pj’s.

Mothers probably do this so that they won’t have the hassle of getting the kids changed before bed. They figure it will save them time. It’s a psychological trick as well, they tell the kid to get changed into pj’s, but not to worry they don’t have to go to sleep, they can still play outside. This way the kid gets changed accomplishing the first task of going to sleep, making it easier for the mother when it is actually time to go to bed, so there’s no fighting it.

The only problem I have with this theory is that it defeats the whole purpose of pj’s. The purpose of Pj’s is to have a nice clean comfy set of clothes to wear to bed. If the child plays outside in his pj’s then he is getting it dirty, if he goes to bed in those pj’s he might as well have gone to bed in his clothes.

If a family is taking a long drive at night, then its smart to change the kids into pj’s before you leave and let them sleep comfortably in the car. Bring along pillows and little blankets too, to help them rest better.

Day Camp

2008-07-02T07:55:00.000-04:00

Day camp is great for families where parents are working and can’t entertain their kids in the summer. Its also great for stay at home mom’s, to be able to send their kids to a place where they know their child will have a fun filled summer.

However, it seems like parents are always wanting to send their kids away. Parents are so excited once day camp finally starts. They even wish they had day camps for babies.

“****wishes there was camp for babies too”

“Day camp finally stared today! Hooray!”

“only x days left till day camp starts, thank goodness”

Now why is this that parents always want to send their kids away?

I can understand parents need breaks here and there. But kids are mostly in school the whole week, for the few days that their off, it is an opportunity for parents to spend quality time with their children. There are so many great places to go with children, that are even free too.

Parents are relying so much on others to care for their children, that when the child has off the parent doesn’t know what to do with the child. I can understand you don’t want to be cooped up in the house with a bored child who might drive you crazy. But you can do productive stuff together. Use the day as a day of taking care of errands that had to be done with the child then have lunch together and bond. If it is younger children, you can still have fun with them too.

Spoiling Children

2008-07-01T07:45:00.001-04:00

You go to the doctors office and there is a mother and son who just came in, there are two chairs left, an adult size chair and a little kids chair. The son sits on the adult chair, the mother tells her son to get up, that the chair is for her, and the little kids chair is for him. But he persists on sitting on the adult size chair, the mother having no other choice squeezes herself into the little kids chair.

Now what is wrong with this situation? The child is a spoiled child. Children of this generation are becoming more spoiled, they have power over their parents, don't let this happen to your child. According to Dan Kindlon, author of "Too Much of a Good Thing", 60% of parents thought their kids were spoiled, and 15% of teens think they themselves are spoiled. We will go through what causes a spoiled child, why spoiling your child is not good and how to prevent your child from becoming spoiled.

What causes spoiled children:
The main cause is permissive parenting, where parents don't set limits and give into tantrums and whining. Holding a baby is equivalent to loving the baby and does not spoil the child.

Why spoiling a child is bad:
A spoiled child is one who can use a bit more discipline, they find it hard to share, wait their turn, appreciate what they have and accept that they can't always get their way.
Spoiled children run into trouble by the time they reach school age. Other children won't like them because they are too bossy and selfish. Adults don't like them because they are rude and make excessive demands. Eventually spoiled children become hard for even their parents to love because of their behavior. Spoiled children eventually become unhappy cause they can't get along with others. Spoiled children may show decreased motivation and perseverance in their school work. Overall, spoiling a child prepares a child poorly for life in the real world.

To Prevent your child from becoming spoiled:
1- Provide age-appropriate limits and rules for your child:
Children need external controls until they develop self-control and self-discipline. Your child will still love your if you say "no" to him.
2- Require cooperation with important rules:
Have 10 to 12 important rules that are not open to negotiation and make sure that other adult caretakers of the child are consistent with them. Then give your child choices in other areas that are not important. Show your child the options of which cereal to eat or what to wear and let the child choose.
3- Expect your child to cry:
Respond to crying immediately when dealing with needs of the child. However when its part of a tantrum ignore it. But be careful to avoid denying him his feelings and don't call him a cry-baby or punish him for crying.
4- Don't allow tantrums to work:
As long as your child stays in one place is not too disruptive or in a position to harm himself, you can safely ignore him during a tantrum.
5- Don't overlook discipline during quality time:
When spending quality time it should be enjoyable, but also reality based, don't ease up on the rules.
6- Don't try to negotiate with young children:
Don't give away your power as a parent. Only by age 14 to 16 a teenager can be negotiated with as an adult, you can ask for his input about what limits and consequences are fair. You don't have to give a reason for every rule. Sometimes it is just because "that's the rule".
7- teach your child to cope with boredom:
Assuming you talk and play with your child several hours a day, you do not need to be his constant playmate. Sending your child off to "find something to do" is doing him a favor. Much good creative play, thinking and daydreaming come from coping with boredom.
8- Teach your child to wait:
Waiting helps children learn with frustration. Delaying immediate gratification is something your child must learn gradually, and it takes practice.
9- Don't rescue your child from normal life challenges:
These are opportunities for learning and problem solving. Always be available and supportive, but don't help your child with situations he can handle by himself.
10- Don't over praise your child:
Praise your child for good behavior and following the rules. Praising your child while he is in the process of doing something may cause him to stop at each stop, expecting more praise.
11- Teach your child to respect the rights of adults:
Spending every free moment of your evenings and weekends with your child is not good for your child or for you. Schedules nights out with your spouse or friend will not only nurture your adult relationships, but also help you to return to parenting with more to give. Your child needs to learn to accept separations from his parents.

In conclusion, spoiling a child is not good for you as the parent or for the child, prevent your child from becoming spoiled. To un-spoil your child you need to set firm limits, be consistent and provide choices. But keep in mind that when children ask for things, a lot of times there can be more to what their asking, something deeper. You have to look at their request and see what's behind it. If the child asks for a new toy, it could be more than just the toy they want, they could be asking for time with their parent. So spend quality time with your children, but remember who is in charge and don't let your child become spoiled.

Washing Hands

2008-06-29T19:01:00.001-04:00

Have you ever wondered why you have to wash your hands when they appear to be perfectly clean? According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, if you don't wash your hands frequently you can pick up germs and infect yourself. Germs are still Germs and a bathroom is still a bathroom, no matter if it is a public bathroom or a bathroom at home therefore it is important to wash your hands after using any bathroom. First we will go over how not to wash your hands, then we will look at the proper way to wash your hands, and for when there is no running water, how to wash your hands with hand sanitizer.

How Not to wash your hands:

Don't use a splash of water and a drop of soap
don't use a standing basin of water to rinse hands
don't use a common hand towel, always use disposable towels in day care or food preparation settings.
don't use sponges or non disposable cleaning cloths since germs thrive on moist surfaces.

How to Wash your hands correctly:

In a public bathroom where there is a paper towel dispenser, push the lever up and down to release some paper towel, leave it hanging there
Turn on the water
Wet your hands with warm running water
Add soap, and then rub your hands together making a soapy lather. Do this away from the water, for 15 seconds. Wash the front and back of your hands, as well as between your fingers and under your nails.
Rinse your hands under warm running water.
Tear off the paper towel you have dispensed before
Use the paper towel to turn off the water
Use the paper towel to push the lever up and down to release more paper towel
Pat your hands dry with the paper towel
then open the door using the same paper towel, and then throw it in the garbage.

How to wash your hands with hand Sanitizer:

So long as it contains more than 60% alcohol it will do the trick
you can use it when there is no running water available, it's most common in health care settings.
Use it when there is no visible dirt on your hands.
Put on enough hand sanitizer that should be about the size of a quarter onto your hands, enough that when you rub your hands together it should cover all areas
then rub your hands and evenly distribute it till your hands are dry.
hand sanitizers are very safe, there is no need to worry about the alcohol, because it completely evaporates as it dries.

In conclusion, washing your hands is very important to stop the spread of germs and prevent diseases. You should wash your hands the proper way since a splash of water won't be sufficient. Children should be encouraged to wash their hands before eating, after coming in from the outdoors, and after using the bathroom. Since children learn by example, show them good hand washing techniques so that they can learn from you and do so too.

"I Don't Care" --- The 'Perfect' Defense

2008-06-20T11:38:00.002-04:00

"Why didn't you...?"
"I don't Care"

"How many times do I have to tell you not to..."
"I don't Care"

"What were you thinking when you..."
"I don't Care"

"What happened to..."
"I don't Care"

"When are you going to learnt to..."
"I don't Care"

"Why do you keep..."
"I don't Care"

Having an "I don't Care" attitude can be both good and bad. It can be bad because if you never care about anything then you'll never change. So long as a child doesn't care that they're doing poorly in school they'll never improve. Once they start caring about their grades or want to give their parents something to be proud of then they will put more effort into doing well.

It can be good in instances where children get picked on and bullied by other children. If they have a feeling of "I don't care" then they won't let what the other kids call them affect them in any way. Its a protective shield for them. Or when you have a rough day and things just don't seem to be going right. When you have an "I don't care" attitude, you won't carry the affects of your bad day onto others and instead you can turn your bad day into a good day and make others happy.

However, in the same way, people use the "I don't care" as a shield of defense for when they are being accused. It makes them feel less guilty. It's like their rejecting the accusations and making them null as if they don't exist, just by saying the magic words "I don't care".

Now these questions in themselves are not fair questions to ask children. Their in a predicament, they know what they did wrong, they feel guilty about it already. There is no reason to make the child feel more guilty, it will just make them resent you and feel angry and frustrated. Instead rephrase it in a way where its not told as an accusation. Instead of saying "you" say "I". Express how you feel about it. Say "I'm disappointed that...", "I would appreciate if...", "I know you can do better than...". This way they don't feel the need to defend themselves and yet still know the message you are trying to give them and they will change to make you happy, because you show you care.

Household Activity

2008-06-15T15:29:00.000-04:00

Have any of you done household chores when you were younger? Studies show 88% of children do household chores. Children prefer to do household cleaning and food preparation rather than clothes related tasks. There are three factors that determine the children’s performance in household activity, they are age, gender, and employment status of the mother. (look at the picture to follow along)

Age: Older children tend to participate more in household activity than young children. Either because mothers expect more out of older children and think the younger children incapable. Or Once there are more children there are more tasks to be done so the older children are needed to do these tasks, particularly in food preparation.
Employment of mother: Children who’s mothers work full time or are stay at home Mom’s are more likely to be participating in household activities. However, children who’s mothers work part time are found to have the least amount of household activity. The reason for this being that mothers who work full time have no choice and need to get the chores done, so they delegate the tasks to their children, particularly that of dishwashing. Mothers that do not work have more time to spend with their children and therefore their children participate more in household tasks, performing them together with their mother. Mothers who work part time previously had been doing all the chores themselves before working. Now that they are working, they feel guilty to delegate these tasks to their children, so they don’t encourage their children to be involved.
Gender: Girls are found to be participating more in household chores, particularly dishwashing. While boys are found to not participate as much. Boys participate more in maintaining the car and yard. The reason why girls like dishwashing is that it is a job that uses companionship. One person can wash the dishes while another dries it.

If a parent is overworked they may feel guilty and upset if they have left chores undone while they are busy helping their kids with homework. What they don’t realize is children are the best source of household help available. A creative parent can use household tasks such as following a recipe to reinforce reading and math skills. A parent can use tasks like meal preparation, washing windows, cleaning a closet or room as a way to engage in activities with their children. This way they accomplish two things at once, getting chores done and spending valuable time with their children.

By having children participate in household tasks they distribute the family load equally so there’s less stress from the pressure of having to get everything done. Additionally, household tasks have an important role in teaching children family responsibility, home living skills, and the attitudes that go along with these tasks and they carry it into their adult lives.

Instead of having to worry about the clutter of children toys, instead of having to pay tons of money on toy “kitchens” “paint sets” “cleaning tools”, give the child a spray water bottle and some paper towels and have them help wash walls and windows. Tasks like folding clothes, sorting laundry into different colors, counting silverware and setting the table can be a valuable learning experience when shared with an adult.

If you wait for the child to become a teenager before you ask them to participate in housework it may be too late. So start now, give your child some chores that are age appropriate. It will help make a relaxing environment in the house and provide lifetime learning experiences.

To Win or To Play

2008-06-13T16:46:00.001-04:00

This may come as a contradiction to the well known phrases, such as “You eat to live” or “You work to live” or anything for the sake of living. If everything is goal oriented then there is less enjoyment along the way and there is more cheating involved.

I was playing Candy Land with the kids I was babysitting. Now each kid was different. One constantly wanted to win. He started off the game saying “I’m going to win”. This may seem good at first, that he has good ambition. But then when it was his turn, he wasn’t happy with the card he got and wanted to land on the ice cream cone or cupcake instead. So he just moved himself to a different place he wanted to be on so that he will be closer to the finish line.

Meanwhile one of the girls sincerely wanted to play the game and was very into following all the rules. She would yell out to her brother “no you can’t do that” but of course he wouldn’t listen cause he just wanted to win. Now she didn’t get to enjoy the game so much when she was the police man enforcing the rules of the game on others. I told her not to worry that she should let him put his piece where he wants but then it will be like he’s not really playing the game. After that she was playing the game more happily.

The third child wasn’t goal oriented and her main focus wasn’t winning the game, she just wanted to play the game and have a good time. Then when she did get a double color or got to jump to a far away place she was happy. She might not have been able to win the game like that, but she definitely enjoyed the game the most.

Now, taking this lesson to life, there are three types of people. You can either be very competitive and take all means to get there, you can be money oriented and lie and cheat to get your million dollars. Or you can be the preacher telling everyone else what to do and making sure everyone is law abiding while you suffer and don’t get to enjoy what you have and are too busy meddling into other people’s affairs. Or Finally you can be the opportunist who just lives life as it is and enjoys every moment of it without worrying about achieving a goal.

This doesn’t mean you can’t have a reason for doing what your doing. You can have a reason for your actions. But you shouldn’t have a goal that interferes with you completing your actions righteously. You can have a goal to live a honest righteous life and therefore all your actions will be correct and you will be pleased with yourself for being good.

Communication and Fear

2008-06-12T13:34:00.001-04:00

There are two types of fears that stem from the same source- communication. One is the fear of the insane and the other is a fear of respected people.

In my naive opinion I feel there is no reason to be afraid of robbers, criminals or any other such harmful people , so long as they are sane. If a person has a brain that is working I feel there is hope to communicate to them not to commit their evil act and escape freely. However, if the criminal is insane; mentally ill, then they are just as much dangerous as any other mentally ill person. Since they can not communicate properly. Their brains aren’t functioning so you can not convince them not to harm you.

Now, respected people can be completely sane and usually are since they need power and intelligence to be respected. However, because of the need to respect them they have an aura of fear around them. There is a disturbance of the ability to communicate with powerful people.

One such respected person can be a teacher. Teachers always tell parents at PTA that their children are excellent good kids, the trouble makers are exceptions. Now why is it that kids behave so well in school while at home they can be misbehaving. It is because in school children are taught to respect their teachers, they are afraid to be absent or late for the consequence. A child can be able to give a whole review lesson to its classmates before the test. However, when it comes to giving a speech in front of the class with the teacher there, it can become impossible. There is a fear toward the respected teacher.

That could be why we have to fear G-d, it signifies our respect. Among our peers, friends and families it may be easy to communicate since we are all on the same level. You don’t have to prepare a speech in advance, it just comes out naturally. Now, one can appreciate the power of Tefillah, of having a Siddur in front of you with all the words written for us.

Toy Recalls

2008-06-05T14:03:00.007-04:00

There has been twenty million toys recalled in 2007. You start to question why are these toys being recalled and why they are being sold if they are harmful. Most toys are recalled because they are found to have led in them. Additionally, some toys are recalled because they have small parts that can become a chocking hazard. Parents want manufacturers to make sure the toys they are selling are safe and won't hurt their kids. They expect the Consumer Product Safety Commission to do its job and make sure dangerous toys stay off store shelves.

Why there are so many Toy Recalls:

The CPSC has responsibility for over 15,000 different products, however it is underfunded, understaffed and dependent on voluntary testing by industry.
However the toy industry is highly competitive where consumers expect low prices. This forces manufacturers to look for low-cost materials.
It used to be most toys sold in the United States were produced within the US. Now 87% are produced in other countries. Where 74% of those are manufactured in China.
A study led by Scott Clark, a professor of environmental health at the University of Cincinnati, found that 50% of the paint sold in China, India, and Malaysia had lead concentrations of 30 times higher than the CPSC standard.
Since the manufacturing role has been shifting overseas, U.S. Toy importers have come to rely more and more on test results from foreign suppliers.
Some overseas vendors will circumvent long-established standards and procedures on purpose or out of carelessness.
Federal Hazardous Substances Act implied that manufacturers can sell potentially toxic products as long as the exposure pathway is unlikely to be completed.
According to the Ecology Center's investigations, some charms, bracelets, earrings, key chains, rings and other inexpensive jewelry marketed to children are made entirely of lead.
The CPSC acknowledges that children's jewelery is a problem. CPSC spokesperson Julie Vallese says she knows kids will put things in their mouth and they are trying to get manufacturers to use nonhazardous metals.

What's being done:

President Bush through CPSC's authority proposed to:

make it illegal for companies to knowingly sell a recalled product.
Establish a certification program for companies with a track record for meeting safety standards
increased penalties for violating U.S. Import laws.
More training for overseas inspectors

Approved by Senate Committee: The CPSC Reform Act of 2007:

more than double agency's budget from 62.4 million to 141.7 million by 2015
increase staffing levels 20%
increase the maximum fine on companies from $1.8 million to $100 million
more testing of children's products
bans led in children's products
makes it illegal to knowingly sell a recalled product.

Manufacturers

have been issuing voluntary recalls when they learn about unsafe products.
Said they will conduct more stringent testing of their products and impose rigorous standards on imported goods
Some retailers, such as Toys “R” Us, have called for further testing of the products they stock

Currently the CPSC has begun to address led paint hazards from imported toys. They entered into agreements with the Chinese government to address safety in production. Parents should avoid purchasing cheap jewelry at all costs. Parents shouldn't excessively worry on the risk of dangerous toys. However, the vast amount of recent toy recalls should serve as a wakeup call to the industries and federal regulation to make beneficial changes

Got Nosh?

2008-05-30T13:45:00.002-04:00

Case 1:
Tzippy is so excited her mother bought her one of her favorite snacks. She comes to school sits in class anxious for recess time to get to eat her favorite snack, sour sticks. The bell rings it is now recess. Tzippy rushes to her briefcase takes out her sour sticks is about to take her first bite and savor the taste. When two girls sitting next to her caught the flash of the red sour sticks and wanted some too. Rivky has been taught by her parents not to ask for snack from other kids, so she went to her briefcase and took out the same snack she got every day, homemade chocolate chip cookies and sighed. But then when she took a bite into the cookies and tasted how good they were she forgot about the sour sticks and she remembered what her mother told her about sugary nosh, that it causes cavities, and she knew she didn't like going to the dentist. Chani on the other hand saw those red sour sticks and her mouth started watering. She went over to Tzippy with her hand out stretched. "If you give me snack I'll be your best friend" she said. With such an offer, Tzippy just couldn't refuse. She gave Chani a sour stick. But then once Chani had one she wanted more and they ended up splitting up the whole bag.

Case 2:
It was recess time, Yitzi took out his bag of potato chips. He started opening the bag. All of a sudden the boys sensed a nosh bag was being open. They heard the crinkle of the bag. Before Yitzi knew it thirty hands were outstretched before him asking for some snack. Yitzi looked at his bag of potato chips, he looked at the other boys. He knew if he gave snack he would become popular and he was too embarrassed to say no, so he gave each outstretched hand a potato chip. After the boys got their share they went back to playing ball. Yitzi looked at his bag and saw he was left with one Potato chip.

After Tzippi and Yitzi tell their case to the court, it is now up to the jurors to decide what the verdict will be, Should children be told to share snack?

Pros:

The children learn to do chesed.
They are accomplishing the mitzvah of V'Havta Lereacha, "What's Mine is Yours".
The children learn to share, that part of the joy of having something, is to be able to give it to others.
The children will become less fat if they don't have as much snack.

Cons:

The children are left with nothing for themselves and feel forced into giving their snack to others for the sake of friendship, popularity, or reputation.
Parents spend triple the amount of money on their children's snack so that the children will have enough snack to give to others.
Snack is all that is on the parents mind. When they are by Vorts or other Simchas and they see nosh there they stuff it into their pockets so that their children will be able to have snack for the rest of the week. Without thinking that it perhaps may be stealing.
Children feel they have to hide in the closet when they have a good snack so that nobody will find them and ask for snack.
Children become adults, then as an adult they carry the same traits and start hoarding their food/nosh.

Jurors: so what will the verdict be?

Naivety

2008-05-26T09:45:00.001-04:00

Children are known for being naive. They are innocent and don't yet know that people can be cruel and trick them into things or tell them lies and raise their expectations to the impossible. The question is, as an adult is it fair to trick kids into believing things because of their naivety. This brings up the question of empty threats and bribery.

Even as adults is it fair to trick other adults into believing things that are just made up. Shouldn't there be a disclaimer in fine print to say that it is fake and a joke. People could believe things all their lives and then one day someone breaks the news to them that it is made up and their whole world crashes on them. Everything they believed in they find out is nothing.

Sometimes it can be hard to explain to a child a difficult concept like death and parents may lie to their children and say the pet went to sleep so as not to have to get the child upset. The child grows up and realizes that the pet had died and not gone to sleep. Even a question like "Where does a baby come from". There's no reason to have to make things up and say it gets delivered in the mailbox or you buy it at the hospital. Every child at their own level can understand some concept. You don't have to explain the whole thing, but on their level. For a young child less information is needed, while for an older more mature child more information is acceptable.

Now with the question of empty threats. Empty threats are usually used when a parent is desperate and their child isn't listening to them. If the child doesn't want to go to school in the morning, the parent will say the child won't get to play with his friends, or the parent will take away a toy of theirs, or any such thing. First of all, I don't think threats are a good way to convince a child to do something. One, it just gets the child more upset and angry at the parent. Two, if you don't follow through with the threat then the child knows you won't really keep to the threat and they won't listen anyways. Plus, is it really fair to put the child through so much aggravation of worrying about not getting what they want and then at the end they get it.

Then with the question of bribery, should a parent be allowed to promise their child a prize for doing something the parent wants them to do. If its a chart then that's one thing, that's not bribery, that's a reward system that is set up in advance that the child knows how it works. I think charts are a great idea, the child has something to look forward to and sees how their progressing. However, if its a spur of the moment bribe then its playing with the child's trust in the parent. A child is taking too long doing homework so the parent says if you finish your homework right away you'll get to stay up and watch a video. The parent knows they don't let their kids watch video's on a school night, so they have no plan on keeping to their promise. They just use the bribe to get the kid to do what they want. Now it comes bedtime and the child expects to watch a video but the mother says its too late now and then a whole argument erupts between parent and child. "But you promised" the child tells the mother, and the mother puts on an indifferent face and walks out, while the child cries itself to sleep and then won't be so fast in trusting the mother again. Or if the child does continue falling for the bribery then it just becomes worse.

Get to Know Your Kids

2008-05-24T22:24:00.003-04:00

Shul time can be a great time to get to know your kids. To know if they are able to handle shul or not. When kids are still young and don't know how to daven there is no reason for them to have to come to shul. If after going one time to shul with your kids and you see they make noise and don't behave, then realize they are not ready to be in shul. If your child will be able to sit next to you the whole time and not make noise then your child is able to come.

Additionally, shul is not a place for kids to run around and play. Especially if shul's don't have play rooms and the kids end up playing outside by themselves. Its really dangerous to have kids unattended. Its a miracle no one gets hurt.

If the child is mature and can behave in shul then I think it would be a great experience for them. To get to see how their father davens and to get used to shul and want to go when their older.

Also, I don't think mothers should come with all their kids just for the kiddush. It sends the wrong message to the kids. Plus the kids shouldn't take up all the chairs and take food first. Parents should train the kids that they should have respect for the adults and wait their turn to take food, and not to take before davening is over. However, if the kiddish is for somebody who just had a baby or any such simcha then it would be okay for people to come for just the kiddush.

I still remember one time I went to a simcha kiddush, it was buffet style. I was sitting with my family at one table and near us was a young girl with her mother. The young girl got a plate of food and then sat down by her table. Meanwhile the mother was still getting food and hadn't come back yet. The girl waited till her mother returned and started eating, and only then did the girl eat. I was impressed by seeing that, it shows real manners on the girls part, and that she was trained well.

Is It That Obvious?

2008-05-23T11:23:00.002-04:00

Sometimes I wonder if my love for children is that obvious. Kids seem to always know that I'm interested in what they have to say and that I want to play with them. Or even the mothers to know to ask me if I can babysit.

I made a new friend yesterday, where this kid on my block who just turned 6 saw me coming home from my other babysitting job and started walking me home and talking to me. Then there was a car sticking out of the driveway into the street so I went around the car into the street, so the girl asked me if I was crossing, I realized she still wanted to talk to me, so I said no that I was just going around the car. Although I did see different neighbors across the street so I was gonna go say hello to them. She continued talking to me when I was by my house so I sat down on the steps and waited for her to be done, but the conversation didn't end. Then her mother called her to to come back to her house, and she told me to wait outside while she goes to her mother and finds out what she wants. Then she came back saying she had to go inside now. She told me she wanted me to babysit by her, so she will tell her mother that when her mother goes away she should call me to babysit, so I said ok and told her to have a good night.

Meanwhile, this girl has lived on my block all these years and I never had a conversation with her before. She all of a sudden became interested in me, because a week ago I had been by a different neighbors house playing with the kids and she was there too playing with them. She saw how all the kids were all over me, so she commented "They really love you 'Babysitter'". So since then she became my friend.

Anyways, today I had a final and when I handed in my test my professor said have a good summer and the usual, then he showed me some pictures. I haven't noticed the pictures on the desk before. But then I looked at them and they were pictures of his daughter in some plays. I asked what play it was and he said "Oliver". Then I asked how old she is and he said "ten". She was a really cute kid and looks like she's a great actor too. I was wondering how he knew that I would be interested in looking at the pictures of hid kid. Other people handed in the test and he didn't say anything to them. So I wonder if my interest in children is so apparent.

Although there was one case where I wasn't interested in children. In elementary school girls would always bring in pictures of their newborn nieces and nephews. They would show off the pictures on their looseleaf and everyone would come around the desk "oohing and ahhing" about how adorable the baby was. To me it just looked like any baby. All newborn babies looked the same to me. If I didn't know who the kid was, then it was just a picture of another baby and I never gushed over them. But then if I would look back at pictures of babies of kids I already know, I would see the face resemblance and then the picture would have meaning and I would really enjoy looking at those pictures.

The Power of Music

2008-05-21T11:18:00.005-04:00

It's almost Lag Baomer which means it's almost time for Music! It's amazing what a miracle music can do for kids. In little kids classrooms they always have music playing while the kids color, it makes a more relaxed environment. But even starting younger than that, as a baby, the cribs have lullaby's playing from them. One time I was babysitting a one year old and he had been sleeping and then woke up and started crying, I tried getting him to quiet down and nothing worked. Then the parents said to try turning on the music and put him in the carriage and wheel him back and forth, and it worked, the kid fell back asleep.

Now going back to toddler age, whenever you want a kid to remember something, you teach it to them in a song and they can remember practically anything, and it sticks to when they get older. That could show the importance of having appropriate music playing around young kids.

Then as kids get older, in elementary school, they usually make tapes with their class of different songs they learned throughout the year, its something the child can cherish for the rest of their life, it has so many memories attached to it and triggers many pleasant memories you forget about in your hectic everyday lives.

I remember going to a house where motzei shabbos they would turn on the music loud and everyone would get to work cleaning up after shabbos. The music was so enjoyable and put an exciting mood into the air, that the kids actually wanted to clean up and didn't feel like they were doing hard work. Because the music can get you into a mood to be productive and it awakens you to get active. That's also why a gym would have music playing so the people don't think about working out, but rather the music causes them to want to move.

Music can also help in long car rides, after an hour kids start getting restless. With story tapes it may be good for a while, but then the kids loose focus and don't have the energy to comprehend the story. With music the kids don't have to focus on the song, it becomes background music, they can listen without having to put thought into it.

Music can also get kids to get wild sometimes, if the music is too loud they can get hyper. If the music is on in a bedroom then the kids will start jumping on the bed singing on top of their lungs. I guess the bed feels like a stage to them, and they get to bounce up and down which is the movement the music causes. But then if the kids get too wild there's always a solution, just turn off or lower the music and they will behave again.

Then there's also the lite and relaxing music played at dentists or doctors. When a kid is about to get a shot, their not too pleased about it and they will start crying. So the music relaxes them and puts them at ease and gives them something else to pay attention to. By closing your eyes and just focusing on the music you can transform yourself to a different place and then by the time you open your eyes its all over with and the pain is gone.

If a kid is angry and upset they can put on music, usually with headphones. It will block out the rest of the world and leave them in solitude a bit so they can think it all over and calm down. Then there's the actual playing of music, usually drums work the best when a kid is angry. Give them something to bang on and they get their frustration out, they get to hear the loud noise and they feel their anger is being heard.

Cloning The Babysitter

2008-05-18T14:50:00.004-04:00

Right now I feel like having myself cloned would make babysitting so much easier. Seems like everyone needs babysitters these days and I just can't be everywhere at the same time.

One person says to me "So are we on for Wednesday night?" I said "sorry, someone already asked me". Then she said "I thought we had a deal that you come to me every Wednesday night". I guess it was implied cause I was babysitting by her for already 4 or 5 Wednesday nights. So she said "next Wednesday night your coming to me" so I said "ok, I didn't know before that I was yours for every Wednesday night, but from now on I won't book other people that night".

Then I got a phone call from someone else and she left a message saying she needs me for 3 Wednesday nights. I forgot to call her back for a week, cause I was meaning to tell her I wouldn't be able to come because I have a different babysitting job. Then today she calls back to see what the story is, and I told her that I'm sorry but a different person already asked me for every Wednesday night, so I can't. So she said "Wow, your in demand, that must be good to have some pocket money". I wasn't even thinking about the money, cause like I said in an earlier post, I don't babysit for the money.

So sometimes I just wish that there can be more babysitters like me, then I can just send them out to the different places. Although really it wouldn't work for 2 reasons. One, because I would be jealous if there were other "Babysitters" going around. Two, because if the "Babysitters" would each go to different jobs then through the different environments they will automatically change and won't be the same clone anymore, they would develop different personalities.

Usually I don't like taking on new jobs cause then it just makes more people need me and making it harder to fit everyone in. Sometimes I make exceptions though. So I babysat for a new person, then she says to me:

"I can use an extra hand around here- are you interested in babysitting again? or are you too busy ? also how much do you charge an hour? now that I know your in the neighborhood- I can really use help - my hubby works till very late at night and sometimes I could use an extra hand- whats your schedule like? I know you work for so and so- but if your interested- maybe I can give you more work!!"

It gets to a point where it just makes me laugh, "Maybe I can give you more work" As if I already don't have enough! But then again it can be refreshing to babysit by new people. "how much do you charge an hour?" I can take advantage of that question, and because I'm in such a "demand" I can raise my price. But because I'm not raising it for the other people, I will just tell her the regular price.

Babysitter Rights

2008-05-13T13:07:00.003-04:00

As a babysitter there are certain rights implied that I have, or anyone for that matter. One such right would be the right of privacy. When I go babysitting, I bring with me a little pocketbook with my cell, keys, and calender.

Then if my phone would ring, I would go get it and see who called, and then sometimes answer. Then the kids would see which pocket the phone was in. They know that phones have cameras in them and that it takes pictures. So the first time they asked if they can take a picture with my phone. So I let them. But then once I let them once they figure it means they can use it whenever they want. So they would go into my bag and take out the phone and start pressing buttons and taking pictures. It was an old phone and I figured they can't cause much harm to it. So I would let them.

But then, if the mother is home and she sees her kids going through my pocketbook and taking out my phone and using it without permission, she would tell them they are not allowed to do that. That you don't go through other peoples things, which is true. So I let her tell them that without correcting her and telling her that I don't mind. For the purpose of parenting, so that they will listen to their mother.

Now, yesterday the kids wanted to play a game that was in the closet. One kid said its supposed to be a prize for when their tooth falls out. So I told them we can't play with it then, that its supposed to be a prize. But then the kids wanted to play with it anyways, and I figured its not causing any harm, so I took the game down and taught them how to play. Then the kids started whining and being impatient, because it was a 2 people game, so one of them was left out. The game was checkers, and they didn't understand that you can only jump if there is a piece to jump over, and that you can only move one piece at a time. So they were fed up with the rules. So the mother told them to stop whining, that they won't be able to play the game like that.

The kid started crying when her mother said she had to clean up the game and can't play. So I was listening to the mother and told the kid she's not allowed to play and that we have to clean up. But she cried harder, so I figured the rest of the kids found something else to do and were quiet, so I could play with her. So we set up the game again and I played with her. Then after the game the kid started smelling what will be for dinner, and she liked the smell, so she ran up to her mother as if she hadn't been misbehaving before and gave her mother a hug and said thank you for making her favorite supper. The mother accepted the hug but told her that she has to stop having temper tantrums and expecting me to give in, she said its not nice and that now she has to apologize to me, and she said that really they weren't supposed to be playing the game because it was for a treat.

Now this causes a few reactions from me, a whole mumble jumble of thoughts. I never think negative of the mother, and I always think that she doesn't mean to offend me whenever she says anything. So when the mother said the kid had to apologize to me, again I didn't expect an apology or anything and I understand its the way of kids. But then when she says that they weren't supposed to be playing the game. In a way it implies that I shouldn't have brought the game down to let them play with it. As a negative thing on my part, but yet I know she didn't mean it that way. But still I want to do what the mother says. So then other times I say "no" to the kids, and follow what the mother says. But then it gets the kids all upset and everything, and sometimes its just not worth it. As long as its not a bad or dangerous thing, then I would give in to them.

Then there's also the right to personal space. As a babysitter I don't feel like this right is necessary. I let the kids sit on my lap or play with my hair. A lot of times they ask me to pick them up and carry them. So of course once I carry one of them, the others also wants a ride, so I have to do each one, so then it could get out of hand and I put a limit. But then if its only one kid that wants me to carry them, then I would. The mother would tell the kid not to make me carry her around all day. Which again is a valid concern, but again I didn't mind. So I wasn't gonna put the kid down the second the mother said that, but I wasn't gonna answer back either. So I would carry her to where she was going, and then put her down and say "no more".

Mazel Tov! -- It Broke

2008-05-09T12:30:00.005-04:00

Nobody wants things to break, but it happens that things fall and break. Or something is treated incorrectly and breaks. Children are very prone to breaking things. They don't know how to handle little delicate things and are often clumsy.

When a child climbs on a chair, a parent can either say "Get down, the chair will break" or "Get down, you are going to hurt yourself". When a parent puts the object first, does that mean they care more about their furniture than the child? Or maybe the parent has faith in the child that they won't hurt themselves so then they only have to be concerned about the furniture which cannot protect itself and therefore needs the parent protecting it.

But then when a child falls on the floor, or a child's finger gets stuck in the door, some parents will tell the child to hit the floor or the door. This supposedly helps because the child is getting out its frustration on the thing that caused him to get hurt. The child will say "Bad door" and it makes them feel better. Though the door has no feelings to answer back, so they automatically win.

Now, what happens when a child has something important to them, a new toy and then it breaks. The parent can either scream at the child for breaking the toy that they just bought for x amount of dollars. In that case the child will feel guilty and get more upset and angry thinking that its not their fault. This takes away from the actual sadness of the child at the loss of their new toy. Or the parent can say "oy vey" and then the child feels the sadness and gets hysterical and wants a new toy right away.

Then today, I saw a different approach that I've never seen before. A child was oustide with a porcelain doll, which isn't made of plastic and therefore can break easily. So the child was holding the doll and coming out of a car and then "crash" the doll's foot broke and shattered to pieces. The mother didn't get upset at the child, neither did she make a big deal out of it. Instead she said "Mazel Tov!".

I thought this was such a good way to deal with it. The child didn't start crying. They just picked up the doll from outside and moved on, went inside the house, and that was the end of that. I'm sure the child felt a little regret that her doll was now broken, but there were no outbursts and the child was able to think rationally and the mother probably took care of the rest of it. Either to buy a new one, or to explain that she has other dolls, or that its not completely broken and so on.

Close an Eye, What do You See? Close an Ear, What do You Hear?

2008-05-07T23:36:00.002-04:00

My attempt at poetry:

A child looking through a telescope
closes an eye to focus better
the image now clear
the child stands back
one eye still closed
looks ahead
then blinks and closes the other eye
magic, everything has shifted over
the child discovers a new game
open one eye, shut the other
then switch over
what was once here
is now there!

A loud banging noise
the child closes his ears
to block out the sound
waits a few
then opens one ear
checks, has the noise gone away he asks
but wait
now there is a louder noise
coming from him
his voice is now louder
the child opens both ears
talks, sounds regular
closes an ear, then hears louder!

Made Just For Children

2008-05-05T22:12:00.008-04:00

I came across a blog making fun of One Step Ahead, a website that comes up with innovative baby and toddler products. It was a great entertaining post, so I decided to check out the website and see which other products they have that weren't mentioned. There were lots of silly products, but then there were some that were really creative and useful.

For Bath time there are:

"My Own Shower"

This is great for Toddlers to learn how to take showers, with the water coming to them from a lower level. This way the water is more focused at them, and they won't have to be afraid of the big shower.

"Flo Faucet Cover"

This is great for children taking baths, to get the hair washed, instead of using buckets and cups. This way they get washed like a regular shower but with the fun of taking a bath.

"Shampoo Rinse Cup"

This is great for washing a kids hair in the bath. Instead of using a regular cup that leads to water getting in the eyes. This cup has a flat bottom that goes on the head so that the water will go straight back instead of falling down the front of the face.

"Shampoo Visor"

This is great for shampooing a kids hair, so that the shampoo doesn't go in their face. It also prevents the water from going in their eyes after the shampoo is rinsed off. It lets the kid play with toys in the bathtub without having to worry about shampoo going in her face.

"Bathtime Shower"

This is great for babies taking baths. They get to press a button and then water comes out like a shower. So they get to have the fun of a sprinkler shower while taking a bath. This way they can rinse off the soap with the shower.

For Night Time there is:

"Kid's Switch"

This is great for little children that can't reach the light switch. Instead of having to ask someone to turn on/off the light, they can do it themselves.

For a Child's Bedroom there is:

"Magic Wall Magnetic Paint"

This is great for hanging up arts 'n crafts children make. When there isn't enough room on the fridge, you paint on the magnetic paint on a wall, and the wall becomes magnetic so that anything can be hung up on it.

For Eating there is:

"Catch Bowl"

This is great for when kids are eating something with a spoon, where the food usually falls. This bowl has a tilted part that catches the food and rolls it back into the bowl so that it doesn't spill and waste the food.

For Safety there are:

"CareRails Mount Kits and Extension Kit"

This is great for when children go up and down the stairs and can't reach the regular railing. They get their own railing that is on their level.

"Easy View Back Seat Mirror"

This is great for when driving, instead of having to keep turning your head to check on the child, you can see the child through the mirror.

Robotic Age

2008-04-25T15:40:00.004-04:00

The technology we have today is amazing. Seems like robots are very popular. There are robot vacuum cleaners that sense with there's something on the floor and vacuums it up. A robot like that doesn't seem like such a big deal because it is still a form of an appliance to clean, its not taking over a humans job. However, robot babies and baby sitters are another story.

Robot Babies were already discussed. Then I found out about robot babysitters. But really a Robot babysitter can't substitute for a real one. It can't look after the kids and make sure they don't get into trouble. All it can really do is entertain them just like any other toy. Although its interactive and can have discussions with them so that can keep them busy. It even recognizes the kids names and ages through a bar code. But for caring about the children's safety it can do nothing.

Sometimes entertaining kids can be very tiring. There are 2 types of children. There are those that just talk on and on and they are just commenting about things they see. Then there are those that question everything and expect responses. For the second type you have to be more awake and have a lot of patience while the other type, the commenter, you can just tune out a little. Here the robot will never get tired of having conversations with the children. Although I do enjoy talking with the children, that can be the best part.

The safety part can be harder, cause you have to be constantly on top of the children, making sure they don't get into trouble. It can get tiring running after the children all over the place. But then if they are kept entertained they won't get in much trouble cause they are kept busy and don't have time to make trouble. Although, if it gets too quiet then its a bad sign, its usually a sign of trouble. Like pen on the walls, or a surprise they made with good intentions that ends up destroying things and not much appreciated.

Here is a cute little video with a robot babysitter of a different sort:

SHHH.....The Window is Open!

2008-04-16T17:23:00.003-04:00

Most homes are one way while outside and they act another way in their house. Outside the home everyone acts polite. Mothers won't scream at their children in front of anyone else. If their child is crying they would get embarrassed and try to quiet the child so other people won't think that they are a bad mother. But yet in the house they could let the child cry for hours as long as no one hears. When a mother is rebuking her child she will first shut the windows so the neighbors won't hear.

One of the mothers of the kids I babysit was telling me that one time she was giving her kids a shower, and the kid started hanging on to the door. The mother was afraid the door would collapse on her so she screamed the kids name. Then she looked at the window and she was like "uh oh" the cleaning lady left the window open. Now the whole block heard her scream. She was worried people thought who knows what happened. Some families lock themselves in their house without opening any windows for fear anyone hear any yelling and come to the wrong conclusions.

There is a non Jewish family on my block and they would sit outside at night by the nice nights and they would laugh so loudly. I would wonder what their laughing at, then sometimes it would be really funny because as me and another person are talking about something funny, right when we're about to laugh, we hear the family on our block laugh and its a good sound effect, like right on time.

Then there are those that go outside to talk on their cell for privacy. I always wondered how it could be private, because now the whole world gets to hear them. They would be having business calls, and yell at the person on the other side and everyone would turn around to look at them. Unless maybe they are only concerned that their own family shouldn't hear them, and couldn't care less if the rest of the world heard them.

Travelling Babysitter

2008-04-13T19:16:00.002-04:00

Today I went to buy new Rollerblades, I was going to take the bus to get there, but my father offered to give me a ride there and back. So after I got my Rollerblades I was walking down the street to go to our car when I see this girl with 2 kids waiting by a city bus stop. She asked me which bus goes to a certain neighborhood. I wasn't sure, so I asked my father, he said she would have to take 2 buses. So he then offered to bring her where she needed to go. Or at least so she will only have to take one bus.

So my father asked the girl where she was going, and she said to a pizza shop. So we dropped her off at the pizza shop. But meanwhile, before we got there the girl didn't seem to know where she was going or how she was getting anywhere. I asked her where she was from and she said Israel. So I asked if the 2 kids with her were her cousins and she said no, that she was their babysitter. She said the kids were going to their grandparents for Pesach, so she came on the plane to bring them here and she was going back to Israel before Pesach.

I've never heard of such a thing before, where a babysitter flies with kids to a foreign country and then entertains them there for a week. I can imagine it would be hard for her entertaining 2 kids in a country she's not familiar with. Although she did say she came here every summer for camp. But that's not in the same neighborhood. One of the kids asked if they were going to the zoo tomorrow. She answered that they only have zoo's in Israel, that they don't have zoo's in America. So she obviously didn't know much about this area and must have a lot of self confidence to take upon such a job. They had great English though, which was a good thing.

But it was interesting that when we were in the car I felt like I could relate to her, a fellow babysitter. She was worried the kids were making too much noise, so she kept telling them to be quiet and of course they didn't listen. But of course we didn't mind that they were talking. But it was funny how kids are the same all over. The kids felt very comfortable and were saying silly names and silly sounds and then laughing at it. The kids I babysit do the same thing, they would make up words and then laugh at how funny it sounds.

"I Need an Excuse - Pull My Tooth"

2008-04-10T11:59:00.004-04:00

A lot of times children dread certain situations, and their way to get out of it is to make an excuse. The most common excuse is "I don't feel well". A child could be acting fine the whole day, then all of a sudden its homework time and they say they don't feel well so they shouldn't have to do it. When there is a test at school that their not prepared for, they will make their forehead hot and act weak so that they won't have to go.

Usually mothers can tell when their children are faking it or not, and they almost always end up having to go to school at the end. Once they are in school it turns out not so bad as they thought it would be, and they come home happy as if they hadn't been dreading school that same morning.

Although sometimes it can be true that they are not feeling well. One of the kids I was babysitting said he wasn't feeling well. He usually said it when it was time to do homework. It could be because that was when he started thinking about how he was feeling cause he didn't want to do homework. His voice was horse a little and he didn't look so good. But yet the mother figured he was just faking it, so she told him if he isn't feel well then she will take him to the doctor that night. He didn't want to go to the doctor so he did his homework. But then at the end he was sick, cause I caught it from him, it was just a cold though so it was okay.

It could be psychological, but you don't have to be a child to use this excuse. Most times when people want to take off from work they call up saying their sick which is usually not the case. In that situation the boss can't really check on the worker so they assume the person is telling the truth, although there are a limited amount of sick days. However, fireman and police man can't just take off whenever they want, the company actually calls them up to make sure their at home and not shopping. They have to give an exact schedule of when they are going to the doctor and when they will be home and then they send people to check up on them.

Anyways, a few weeks ago I had a project in school that I was dreading. My mouth was hurting me a little, so I hoped it meant I could get another wisdom tooth out so that I would have an excuse of why I can't talk. Usually I dislike going to the dentist, but here I actually hoped my tooth would be able to come out. I caused myself more pain, biting on my cheek so it would make a mark to fool the dentist. Then the dentist said the tooth wasn't ready to come out. I was a little upset, I ended up going to school and my group gave their project and it went alright. After that day my mouth hasn't even been hurting me, so it was all psychological.

Missionaries

2008-04-07T12:40:00.002-04:00

As a child I remember missionaries used to come to our block on Shabbos. They would usually come when we were in shul, so then we missed them. However, I do remember peeking out the window, seeing them standing by the door ringing the bell, and then hiding till they left. Nobody ever opened the door for the missionaries to come in.

In school, my teacher once told us a story about a missionary. She was living in an apartment, as she was going to her floor, she saw a bunch of missionaries came into the building. They went to one family, where a little boy opened the door. The missionaries started talking to the boy and telling him all this non sense. My teacher decided to go over and talk to them, to get them to stop talking to the boy. She had an argument with them. At the end they went away without doing any damage.

Now today I saw some missionaries going to a block with a play group in it. I was concerned for these kids, I hoped no one opened the door. I watched from a block away and the missionaries kept ringing the doorbells for the houses on the block, and no one answered.

I think it should be illegal to have missionaries come to peoples private homes and impose their religion on them. If they want people to come to their religion, then they should have some sort of gathering where there are recruiters and such. But they shouldn't be forcing themselves on people who are uninterested. They know the area is mainly Jewish, they see the Mezuzahs and yet they still come to the doors.

Story Time

2008-04-05T22:20:00.003-04:00

A few nights ago I was babysitting a 1 year old NA, a 2 year old SN and a 4 year old RD. It came time for bedtime, and they wanted to hear a story. I let NA play with toys while SN and RD picked out books I should read. We sat down on the couch and I started to read. But then NA started running away to a different room and I had to get up to get him. Then RD tells SN that she can't sit next to me when I read the book. SN starts crying, I told SN, don't worry you can sit next to me. We started reading the book, then again I had to get up to get NA. Again RD tells SN she can't sit next to me, and again she started crying, and I told her not to worry that she'll get to sit on on my lap. I don't know why RD kept teasing SN that way. There was room for both of them, after all I sat in the middle, so there were 2 sides for them to sit on.

Now this chair in the picture would be great for story time. This way both kids would be able to sit next to me, and be a little higher up so they can see the pictures. Also, the baby would be able to sit on my lap while I read the story.

Getting Paid

2008-04-02T18:37:00.002-04:00

I babysit for the most part because I enjoy babysitting and it feels good to be helpful. When I get paid, I think of myself like a teacher, that I'm not getting paid for babysitting, but rather for giving up my time to babysit. So no matter if its a night job or a day job, no matter how many kids, its all the same.

When I was younger I used to always go to my neighbors house and play with the kids, and that was every day for free, I used to go to them Shabbos also and play with the kids. Then as I got older I had less free time, I had more school work to do, and started going to them less. At this point is when I became their babysitter, because I was no longer going on my own, they had to ask me to come. Once they asked me to come they would pay me, it would be called a job. But I enjoyed it the same much as before. I love the kids there, their my favorite family.

Once I became a babysitter, people would ask me how much I charge. I always said just give whatever you want. I didn't have a set price. For everyone it was different. Like with the family I love, I charge them the least. Although now with new people I tell them all the same amount.

For those that pay me on a weekly basis, I keep an excel sheet with the info to keep track of it. I learned from experience, because one time I was babysitting this person an hour here and there and I didn't keep track, I thought she was, and then she asked me how much she owes me and I had no clue. So ever since then I keep track.

Problem is, one time I babysat by someone and then she was gonna write it down and I told her I'll keep track of it, then a month went by and I went to babysit there again, and then she paid me for that second time and she forgot about the 3 hours from the time before. I wasn't sure if I should say anything or not. So I let it go.

Also, now that I keep an excel sheet with how many hours and what people owe, I know the exact amount at the end of the week. So when its time to pay me, they usually don't know how much it is and give me a little extra, so I told the husband when he was paying me that he gave 10 dollars extra, so he said keep the money and to tell his wife. So I told the wife that I think she paid 10 dollars extra, then she says "'babysitter' why do you do this to me?" So after that I didn't correct how much they gave.

Although sometimes, I hear the mothers complaining about paying cleaning ladies, that they don't have money for it. Then I start feeling guilty about them paying me all the time to babysit. But then I reason to myself, if the mother is telling this to me, she obviously doesn't mind paying me.

The Staircase of Life

2008-03-30T12:31:00.003-04:00

There are two ways to climb the staircase of life. You can either push the other person down, and thereby come out on top. Or you can actually climb to the next step and succeed on your own to come out on top.

Some children feel they have to put others down in order to feel good about themselves. I see many times when children are jealous of each other, for one getting a prize and not the other, the child will say "well I don't care, I don't like it anyways". Trying to make themselves feel good about not getting the prize, as if the prize is nothing to them. Thereby, lessoning the enjoyment of the child who actually did get the prize. Then there are those children that will actually feel happy for the other child. These types are adorable, they act like little adults cheering the other on.

When there is a contest going on, the "Pushers"- the ones who push other kids down to make themselves higher- will report those children that were cheating, thereby showing their innocence and making themselves look good. However, the "climbers"- the ones who will climb up to the next step to come out on top- will put in the most effort they can to win the contest.

The way a person is in childhood, whether they are a "pusher" or "climber" stays with them into adulthood. There are those that always feel they have to correct others to show their smarter than them, or put down and criticize others to feel good about themselves. Then there are those that accomplish good things on their own.

Purposely by Accident.....I TOLD YOU SO!

2008-03-28T12:57:00.004-04:00

Most accidents happen unintentionally. Nobody wants to purposefully fall off a building, drown, or get into a car accident, (unless their suicidal). Children are the same way. However, some times I feel like their putting themselves in danger that they can avoid.

When the kid I babysit is running down the block and I tell her not to run cause then she will fall. She will say, but I won't fall. So then I say of course you don't want to fall, but no body falls on purpose, its an accident, and by running you may fall. But of course she doesn't understand this concept yet. So when she did run, and fell and her knee started bleeding, she was crying and made me carry her. I carried her to the house, and the whole time I felt like saying, I told you so, but I didn't.

One time the kids wanted an apple, and they like it peeled, so I took out the peeler to peel it. Then one kid said she wanted to peel her fruit, I told her its dangerous and she may hurt herself. But the same thing happened, she said she will be carefull and won't hurt herself. I let her peel it, she was doing a good job. The mother came home then, and she hadn't got hurt, I was relieved. But then a few minutes later after the mother saw she was peeling the apple, and let her peel it, then the peeler slipped and she cut her finger.

Again, the same thing, no one plans to get hurt, everyone says "I won't get hurt". But if you put yourself in danger, and there's a chance of getting hurt, then its no longer an accident. It could be called on purpose, because you did it knowing you might get hurt.

Germs

2008-03-23T19:50:00.002-04:00

If you ever watch a child throughout an entire day its amazing how much germs they come in contact with and put in their mouth. Its surprising it doesn't harm them. Most children, when they come home from playing outside, they never wash their hands. Unless their mother trained them real well. Most children, will just go straight to eating their snack or food.

The kids I babysit for have this rule in their house, that as soon as they come home they have to go to the bathroom and then wash up. They also take off their socks or tights so that they shouldn't slip on the floor. Everyone has different rules when it comes to this. Most people I know of where their shoes till they go to bed. Some will change to slippers. But people always have something on their feet. I think I once heard that your not supposed to go around the house without shoes cause then its like your mourning.

When I was in shul, even though I wasn't babysitting anyone, I still notice these children and watch out for them. I've seen a lot of kids lick metal chairs. Now that must have a lot of germs on it. Yet the mothers see the kids doing this and they don't stop them, so I figure its a normal thing. One kid was moving a chair, and she had her hand between two chairs, it looked like she was going to smash her hand, that it will get caught between the 2 chairs, so I tapped the mother, and showed her what her kid was doing. Then she said Thanx, but not to worry, her daughter always gets her hand stuck in things, she closed the door on it a few times.

Anyways, when I think of germs, I think of it as bad, that I would want to avoid it at all times. I keep a hand sanitizer on me all the time, encase I want to eat something, or if I'm coming off the city bus. Imagine how many germs come from there, its like a factory of germs. People sneeze, wipe their nose on their hands and then hold the bars, its just gross.

Then I was thinking about it. I realized it might not be so bad for these children to come into contact with germs. Think of a playgroup, all the kids sharing the same toys. Germs for them can be good, because then they can become immune to it. In order for germs not to harm them when their older, they first need a dose of it when their younger.

Hashem Please Help!

2008-03-21T13:38:00.006-04:00

Its so sad on purim day for such a thing to happen. A child was crossing the street when a car went in reverse very fast and hit him. The glass came out of the car, and the 14 year old child was hurt really bad. The Hatzolah's came right away. The amubulance, fire truck, and police car came about 10 minutes later. They cleaned up the broken class and hosed down the blood.

I feel really bad for the family. It brings tears to my eyes to think about it. I hope the child gets better and has a refuah shelaima.

I'm asking everyone, whoever reads this to please say Tehillim for him. His name is Binyomin Shimon Ben Yehudis Leah.

Reverse Roll

2008-03-19T10:38:00.004-04:00

Sometimes I feel like the kids I babysit are my little "Mommy" that their taking care of me, rather than me taking care of them. Its amazing how much kids notice and understand. This one kid especially takes notice of everything. When I came one day wearing new clothes, she said "You look so cute, I never saw you wear that". Its funny to hear it coming out of a 6 year old, when I'm usually the one telling the kids that.

The kids always look out for me. Whenever they are eating something, they offer me. They ask me to eat supper with them, I usually decline. Two times I actually ate supper with the family, but it felt weird as if I was intruding on their family time.

Anyways, two days ago, one kid offered me some alef-beis shaped pretzels that she was eating. I told her I can't eat anything cause I hurt my mouth. So that settled that for then. Then yesterday the mother had supper for the kids and then she asked me if I wanted and I said no thanx. Then a kid chimes in and said "She can't eat because she has a boo boo in her mouth". I was surprised the kid remembered from the day before. The mother thought the kid was making up a story because I hadn't said anything about it to her. *

Kids are just like little angels sometimes, the perfect helper. Sometimes I even depend on the kids. It makes it such a help to babysit a family with kids old enough to help. When I babysit by a new place I usually don't know where anything is or how the house runs, and I would ask the kid where things are, or if their allowed to do certain things, and they usually answer truthfully.

I actually never knew how to make a bottle till I started babysitting. The parents assumed I knew how, and I was left with a container of formula powder and a bottle. I had no clue what to do with that. The 4 year old taught me how to make a bottle. Since then whenever I go to their house I always make the bottle for the kids.

Ends up being I went to the dentist today and got a wisdom tooth pulled out. The dentist had to give me 8 shots so that it wouldn't hurt. In the beginning when he touched my mouth in the area that it hurt I was crying. Then at the end when it was over he said he was sorry for making me cry and he asked me if I'm still his friend, I nodded my head yea. I canceled 3 babysitting jobs for today!

Swiss Strolli Rider

2008-03-18T09:30:00.003-04:00

Yesterday while I was waiting by the school bus stop I saw a mother pass by with a Swiss Strolli Rider I'm not sure if this is the same one, but the general concept is the same. This is a great idea for a stroller. You get to have the baby in the stroller and the 2 or 3 year old can "ride his bike" but yet you don't have to worry about him going in the street and keeping an eye on him. There's always that 2 or 3 year old that wants to go in the stroller too, and is too lazy to walk. So here's the perfect solution. They could sit on a bike which makes them feel more grown up. This "bike" could clip on to any stroller. The bike is also a little to the side of the stroller, so it doesn't get in the way of the mother pushing it.

Why I'm Not Majoring in Special Ed

2008-03-14T12:37:00.003-04:00

I love kids, and I always have. I also love helping people. Whenever I took those career tests, it always said I should be a nurse or something like that.

When I was younger, about 9 or 10 I thought about becoming a O.T. or P.T. This way my job would revolve around children. Then when I was about 11 or 12 I thought about becoming a psychologist, because I used to listen to Dr. Joy Brown on the radio, and sometimes I came up with the same answers as her, and sometimes I thought I knew better solutions. But it amazed me to be able to help people in that way. Then to be a school psychologist would be the best, cause then I'd be able to help children because I felt I understood then so much. I would always take the side of the children.

When I was in High School, I started thinking more seriously about what kind of job I would want. There were a few problems with the ones I thought of when I was younger.

One thing is I'm afraid of special people, so I wasn't sure I would be able to be a good therapist. Now by saying this I don't mean to put them down or anything. Special people are great, therefore their called "special".

I have this one family, where I feel like its my second home. I love the kids, and when I babysit there, I don't feel like I'm babysitting, I feel like their my siblings. Anyways I used to go there very often on shabbos to play with the kids, and on yom tovim. There was just one problem, they had an aunt who was special and she would come with the grandparents to their house on Succos and Pesach. So whenever she would come to their house, I wouldn't go there. I've tried a few times over coming this fear and going there anyways, I haven't been 100% successful yet.

When I was in 8th grade, a new Hasc house opened up on my block, and different fathers would take turns making kiddush there. One week my father went, I was seriously thinking about going with him into the house. But I wasn't brave enough yet. So I didn't go. Then as the years went by, I got familiar with the ladies there, I would see them often, one of them I used to wave to every morning when I went to school, and it would make her so happy. Then recently I actually went into the house cause friends of mine were volunteering there, so I got to speak to them. I didn't feel an ounce of fear while I was there.

Anyways, today I saw this man who didn't look a 100%, he was jogging into the street when cars were still coming. Then he went behind some cars like he was hiding. The only logical reason I could think for doing such a thing, would be if there was a dog. So I looked around for a dog, I didn't see any. Meanwhile he had this funny expression on his face. Someone like that freaks me out.

Now back to the reasons why I didn't choose to be a therapist or a school psychologist. So one is because I would be afraid of the special children. But then another reason is I was thinking about the future. I was afraid that if I have a job that deals with children all the time it could tire me out and I won't have patience for my own children. I didn't want something like that to happen, so I figured a job where you work in an office or with your brain would be easier than a physically tiring job.

Coats

2008-03-12T10:03:00.002-04:00

I noticed that children do not like wearing coats. I think it gives them a sense of freedom to have their coat off, so their not bundled up. There were a few days when it was nice outside but still a little chilly, yet the kids didn't feel the cold, they wanted to take their coats off. They would stuff their coats in their knapsack. Then even though they started feeling the wind, they refused to give in and say they were cold.

Then I see parents too don't like wearing coats, usually the fathers, they go outside in the freezing cold talking on their cell phones in just a thin white shirt as if its summer time.

Then there's also the hats and hoods. Most kids are embarrassed to wear hats or hoods. They'll wear it till their 3 years old cause their mother puts it on them. But once they turn 3 or 4 and start to have a sense of understanding, they don't want to wear a hat anymore. Which really contradicts itself, cause if they would understand that it keeps them warm then they would wear it. But yet there's something about hoods, kids just don't like them. Although the kids I babysit, listen to their mother when she tells them to put their hood on, so their good about that.

Even older people, when they buy a coat, usually buy one without a hood. I find it so convenient for a coat to have a hood, in case it rains, or just to stay warm in the winter. But then theres those boys who wear hoods on their sweat shirts all the time, even indoors. I think they like the mysterious feeling to it.

Noises

2008-03-09T16:41:00.003-04:00

Last night I went babysitting while the kids were sleeping, so I brought some stuff to study. As I was sitting on the couch reading my notes I all of a sudden started hearing noises. I heard this song playing "o, dreidle dreidle dreidle, I made you out of clay...". I thought maybe the kid woke up and pressed some button which played the song, but I checked and the kid was fast asleep. So then I thought maybe it was coming from my cellphone somehow, so I checked, but it wasn't from there. Then I thought maybe its coming from the couch, so I picked up the coushins, nothing was there. So then I thought I must be imagining the sound, so I ignore it, after all it was just a low sound. I thought it was weird for me to imagine such a song now but I figured there's no other possible reason. Unless maybe it was coming from the parents room, but that would be strange.

Then all of a sudden I started hearing a different song, it was this boy singing, and I've never heard the song before so I couldn't have imagined it. This time the sound was louder. Then all of a sudden it clicked, the music was coming from downstairs. They had a tenant who lived downstairs that was playing music.

Its strange, cause whenever I babysit I'm always conscious of all the sound, listening out if a kid wakes up or cries. So every time I hear a little noise I jump and wonder where its coming from.

One time I was babysitting somewhere else and all of a sudden I hear huge banging noises, I got so scared, I thought maybe a robber was trying to come in. It sounded like it was coming from the windows, I picked up the shade and didn't see anything. The noise went away after a while. When the parents came home I told them I heard this loud banging noise and they told me not to worry that it was the sound the steam makes. So now when I hear that noise I know its ok and I recognize it.

Then Today I was babysitting by my attached neighbor's house, and it was amazing how I heard every noise in my house, people marching up and down the steps, talking and everything. But yet when I'm on the other side of the wall, in my house, I never hear a thing from my attached neighbor's house.

Personal Request from Mindy

2008-03-06T23:14:00.008-05:00

We all know what has happened today at Yeshivat Mercas HaRav. Eight yeshiva students, five high schoolers and three yeshiva gedola students, were killed in cold blood by an Arab with a kippa.

PLEASE, we cannot let this go on without this changing us in some way. We must do two things:

FIRST: in whatever way you can, fight against this injustice. Whenever you see any slanted media reporting, write a letter to the editor. Write or call the White House about Jonathan Pollard or Darfur. Check Israeli websites EVERY DAY and subscribe to their email list to keep up on the news. Comment on their sites. Comment on blogs. Call politicians. Hashem gave us free choice, and we have the power to change the world if we so will it.

SECOND: we have to look within ourselves and our society and find what it is that is faulty within us. Whether it is society at large- and there is no lack of that- or ourselves as a whole, WE MUST CHANGE, or there will be no end to the tragedy! The Ribono Shel Olam is looking down at us from shamayim and waiting to see our reaction when we are killed and trampled on. And this is why I am begging you to please do two thing:

ONE- to take on a kaballah, any kaballah, that you will do something to end the tragedy within us- whether it is an email to the White House to free Jonathan Pollard every day, whether it is davening every day, whether it is spreading ahavas chinam in klal Yisrael- TAKE ON SOMETHING to show Hashem that we really care, and do not live our lives in our bubble. Look within yourself to see what it is that Hashem wants you to be and begin working on that goal.

TWO- START SAYING ACHEINU every day. Stand up and say it in shul, school, on the train, wherever there are Jews who belong to our nation. This cannot go on forever. We must stop this and bring forth the Mashiach already.

***Enough is enough.***

Please daven for the injured:

Naftali ben Gila
Yonatan ben Avital
Shimon ben Tirza
Nadav ben Hadas
Reuven ben Naomi
Elchanan by Zehava

and say Tehillem for them and those who tragically were killed. Also tragic is the attack on Israeli soldiers this morning, and Rabbi Segal's death.

Tens of rockets fall on Sderot each day. We cannot let this go on!

Mercas HaRav's address is mercaz@mercaz.org

Hamakom Yinacheim Osom Misoch Avlei Tzion V'Yerushalayim.

Personally, Mindy Friedlander

Please pass this on.

Personality

2008-03-06T16:37:00.002-05:00

There's this one kid I see every day walking home from public school when I go to the bus stop of the kids I babysit. This kid really intrigues me. He used to have died blond hair with black hair, with a really messy hair cut. The hair lengths were uneven and it wasn't even layered properly. Then recently he redyed his hair and now its blue and green with black. With the same messy hair style that doesn't even make sense.

I'm confused why this child would have a hair cut like this. He looks about the age of 11 or 12 not old enough to be in the rebel stage. Could his mother do this to him? or its something he wants to stand out? He looks like a good kid by looking at his face. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have a conversation with him. He's always on the other side of the street so I never got a chance to say anything to him. I don't know if I should, but I wonder why his hair is like that. I wouldn't say anything straight out to him, but through conversation....

Also this kid is a responsible kid, he used to walk home this 6 year old and cross streets with him to bring the kid home. So people trust him with their kids.

Its really intriguing... Is it just a way to show off his personality and stand out?

Curious Children

2008-03-06T16:20:00.005-05:00

This one family I babysit by, the kids have taught me a lot of stuff. A little while ago when R' Shmuel Birnbaum was niftar the boy came home from school and told me that R' Birnbaum "went to Hashem". I thought that was such a smart thing to say.

Death can be a very scary thing for children if they understand it, and for some it can be too hard to grasp. Telling a child that the niftar went to Hashem is so Brilliant. This way even thought its sad they know the person is with Hashem. They learn about Olam Habah this way without it getting too complicated. They learn to value who Hashem is, in addition to the regular lessons of Hashem is watching over everything you do. They would yearn to do the right things to be with Hashem.

Then by the same family, the kids were so excited their mother's cousin was going to have a baby, they wanted to tell their 3 year old cousin about it. The mother said not to tell the 3 year old because she won't understand it. She will come to her mother every day asking her where the baby is, she won't be able to wait so long for the baby and she'll get fed up.

"Who Babysits Who?"

2008-03-05T16:42:00.002-05:00

I don't know what it is about me, but everyone says I look so young. Whenever I meet knew people they always ask "What grade are you in" so then I say I'm in college, then they tell me I look so young. It happened a million times.

Then in class my professor asked if any body has kids, so then one person said she had a 16 year old, so then my professor was shocked and told her she thought she looked like a 18 year old, she couldn't believe it, it happens to be this lady did look really young.

Anyways, last night in class I was talking to some girls, and they were talking about jobs. So then one asks me what I do. So I said I don't really work but I babysit every day. So then she says to her friend "Who babysits who?" So at first I didn't hear right, so I asked her if she had a baby, so then she said no that I look like a kid so she wanted to know who does the babysitting.

I don't get offended when people think I'm younger than I am. But I wonder what it is about me. But then my father also looked young, when he got married in his 20's he looked like he was bar mitzvah age, so could be genetic. Even now he B"H doesn't have any white hair and he's not bald yet, so I guess at that age it starts to come in handy to look young.

City Buses

2008-02-28T20:35:00.002-05:00

This post doesn't really have to do with kids so much, although there's an important lesson. The lesson is, think of your kids before you do something stupid that could get you in trouble and take you away from your kids.

Tonight, when I finished my class, I came to the city bus stop to see an empty city bus waiting by the corner, and I wonder why no one is going on. Then I look around, and I see three police cars, with police men by the corner. I ask some people what happened, and they told me. It appears, this goyish lady was going on the city bus, and she had her sister and niece there. She went on first and she was halfway up the steps of the bus and she was waiting for her sister to come with her child on the bus. The bus didn't want to wait and was closing the doors. So the lady spit at the bus driver. The bus driver then smacked the lady.

Now I don't know who was at fault here, the lady was wrong to spit at the bus driver. The bus driver was wrong to hit the lady. But its a crime to assault a bus driver and the lady will probably go to jail now. Maybe the lady will sue the MTA now, I dunno.

As I was waiting by the corner, I stood next to one of the police man that was interviewing a witness to hear exactly what happened. The person confirmed what the other people told me. Then I also got to hear the lady telling the cops what happened in first person. So the information was confirmed by all of them.

Meanwhile, the bus driver was just sitting in his seat, calm, with one police man questioning him, which I couldn't hear. The lady on the other hand was screaming at the police man.

Crossing Streets

2008-02-24T17:25:00.002-05:00

Today I was in the car with my brother driving and it was a two way street. The light was red, and it was turning green. A mother quickly crossed the street with a carriage and older daughter. The light turned green, and all of a sudden I heard a 3 year old crying. The mother had crossed without her daughter, she then told her daughter to wait there. Meanwhile, the car in the other lane had stopped when he saw the 3 year old on the other side of the street, giving time for the mother to come back across. Instead the mother started walking away. I had an urge to get out of my car and run across the street to the child to keep her company or cross her to her mother. The poor kid was crying. But it was a green light, and we had to go, and my father said "Don't get involved" that the kid has a mother, so I didn't leave the car.

Its an important thing when crossing streets with kids, to hold their hands, and make sure all of them cross with you. First of all, people shouldn't be crossing when they see the flashing red hand, signifying that its about to turn green for the cars. Second of all, the adult should walk behind the kids, making sure the kid gets across first, cause usually kids because their smaller are hard to see, and this way there is more of a chance that the car will see the adult and wait.

Crossing Guards

2008-02-21T12:52:00.002-05:00

There are all different types of crossing guards. Some are very friendly, and get to know the kids they see on a regular basis, then there are those that just do the job of crossing the kid. Then there are those that are really into their job and direct traffic in addition to crossing the kid.

As a side point, one thing I noticed is that all the crossing guards I know have blond hair.

The crossing guard by HS was really into her job, she would cross those that got off the city bus to the block of the school. It was a big street with cars always turning from a six lane highway into a 2 lane street. When the light was flashing and it was about to become green for the cars, she would tell us to wait and not cross the street. But there were always those girls who wanted to run across the street anyways, and she would give them an admonishing look.

The bus stop of the triplets that I babysit for are next to a public school, so there are crossing guards on both corners. One is very quiet, and just sees a kid coming and starts walking in the street with him. Then the other one is so friendly, she talks to the kids asking them how their day was, if she notices something in their hand she'll ask about it.

In either case, I always thought crossing guards had such an easy job, that they barely do anything. But now I realize in the winter its the hardest to have to stay outside in the freezing cold. Now that I know what its like from waiting by the bust stop for like a half hour or 45 minutes sometimes, I see its not such an easy job after all.

"All Children Smile in the Same Language"

2008-02-20T09:17:00.002-05:00

Whenever I go to a certain neighborhood, I always notice one Public School Building with a quote painted onto the side of the building that says: "All Children Smile in the Same Language". For some reason I always thought of it as such a smart quote. I would imagine its used by the public school because they have all different types of children there, from different races and nationalities. So this teaches them to be accepting of each other cause at the end of the day they all have the same feelings and emotions, they laugh and smile the same way.

I think this is a very important lesson to teach children. In could include the different types of personalities children have, the cliques, or the family background the children are brought up in. Even though there are differences among them, they are all children and should treat each other nicely.

This could be taken to every day life as well, not just with children, but all kinds of groups of people. Its something to think about.

Time to Study

2008-02-17T16:20:00.002-05:00

Although babysitting at night can be very boring since the kids are sleeping and there's nothing to do, its actually the best time to study. In HS whenever I had reports to do, I would save it for when I went babysitting and while the kids were sleeping I would be able to read the book for my report and write up a page or two.

At home I'm always procrastinating cause I feel like I have an endless amount of time, and I'm just not in the mood of studying, reading, and I always get distracted with more entertaining stuff. I always did all my studying the morning of the test, I would wake up between 5:30 and 6:00 to study for the test, and I found studying on the citi bus to be very productive as well.

Here, when I'm babysitting I'm forced to do school work, since there's nothing else to do, and I can't escape it. I'm able to concentrate cause the house is quiet, and I know I have to get it done within a limited amount of time. So now instead of dreading babysitting at night, I look forward to it, it keeps me in check with all my school work.

Surprise, Surprise!

2008-02-15T12:37:00.002-05:00

Today, I was waiting by the bus stop after school and I was debating if I should take the limited or unlimited bus home. They were both there at the same time, I decided to take the limited.

I got off and as I was crossing a street to go home I see the school bus of the girls I babysit for. They started waving to me, so I waved back, then the bus driver recognizes me, so she opens her doors. I figured maybe she had something to tell me, but then she tells me to come on the bus. I feel a little embarrassed, but I go on the bus. Then she drops me off by the bus stop I usually wait by.

Meanwhile, the father was there waiting to pick up the girls, and then he sees me come off the bus. All the little girls, and mothers and everyone were laughing. It was really funny and unexpected. So then as I was walking home thinking about it, I wasn't looking where I was going and I almost stepped into a dead bird on the sidewalk. I saw it right on time, thank goodness.

Then the mother calls me up and she asks what happened, that I came off the bus with them and she wanted to know if I was alright, that maybe I hurt myself. I told her what happened, and she was like okay, just making sure you were okay.

When Kids are Sick

2008-02-14T11:30:00.004-05:00

One thing I've noticed is that when someone is sick, all of a sudden everyone is nice to them. I see this a lot with siblings by the kids I babysit for. Now last night one of the triplets had a fever.

His sisters happened to have these doctor and dentist stuff, because that day in school a girl in their class's mother came to school as a community helper and told the class about her job as a dentist and the day before they learned about doctors and made paper stuff that a doctor uses, like a stethoscope, something to take the blood pressure, a stick for the mouth, band aid, and a needle. The dentist gave: a toothbrush, 2 types of toothpaste, the regular kid and the kind the dentist uses in that little cap, a blue paper bib, x-ray cards, floss, little blue cups to rinse your mouth. So now the kids wanted to play make believe doctor and dentist. They also wanted to use their doctor and dentist stuff on their sick brother, but he didn't enjoy that part too much.

But they were so kind and caring to their brother who was sick, they brought him down his blanket and pillow so he can lay down on the couch. When they were playing Lego, they built him a ship and a robot so he can play with it. They made a puppet show for him, and brought him his microphone so he can sing. One of the triplets has such a cute motherly voice its adorable.

I'm not sure if this is just a triplet thing or its like that everywhere. I know by me (I have a twin brother) when we were younger I would feel his pain so much. When he would get punished because he wasn't doing HW or something I would cry and wouldn't let my father punish him. The connection still continues somewhat as we get older. But then again it could be like that with all siblings.

Even the kid himself who is sick behaves so much better, all of a sudden he is such a good kid, its amazing. But then again I guess its a Bracha when kids act up cause it shows their healthy.

In the Car

2008-02-13T17:38:00.005-05:00

Most times when I go to babysit at night, if its not my neighbors, then the father drives me home. Or sometimes even picks me up and brings me to the house. Now the question is, where am I supposed to sit? I never know if I'm supposed to sit in the front or the back, cause its a man driving. By one person I got in the habit of sitting in the back, cause it was the first time someone drove me. But then when its new people I never know. If there are car seats then I sit in the front because there is no where else to go. But I'm never sure if they'll feel comfortable with me sitting in the front. When my boss was giving me a ride to his house to babysit, I assumed he wanted me to sit in the back, but then he said I should come to the front, that I don't have to sit in the back.

Then there's another issue of conversation, I'm never sure how I'm supposed to speak to them, although because their married it makes it 100 times easier. I let them talk, sometimes they ask questions, like how school is going and then I answer. Some people put on the radio. Then others just talk about random stuff and I listen and comment here and there. But I never start conversation, unless I'm really comfortable with them.

"I Want Candy"

2008-02-12T18:29:00.000-05:00

It seems to be a universal thing, as soon as you walk in the house you get hungry. The triplets I babysit for, after I take them off the bus and bring them home, right away their hungry. They run to the cabinet with the nosh and they want to take candy. The mother doesn't want them eating candy cause its not good for their teeth...So I tell them they can't have candy and they have to wait till their Ima comes home to eat.

But their little and they don't have patience to wait that half hour. I get them to do their homework first, which the 2 girls seem to enjoy doing, and they finish their Kryah right away, the boy however doesn't like doing his homework, so while the girls do their homework, the boy goes to the kitchen looking for something to eat. He ends up finding a candy, now once he takes one, of course the other 2 want also, and I can't say yes to one and no to the others, so I end up giving them each some sort of nosh to eat.

The mother makes supper when she comes home from work, so there's no food prepared for them when they come in. I used to make them oatmeal or give them some cerial to munch on and that worked. But now all they want is candy. So they would go through all the candies, I would let them have chocolate coins or a wafer, or something with less sugar. Sometimes they want a taffy and I try to say no, but...

Back to the homework part, something I noticed is boys just don't like doing homework, could be because they have a mitzvah to learn. I see this all the time, girls do their homework right away, and boys just try to push it off and give everyone a hard time. I've seen this in many families. Maybe it has something to do with the boys school's too which is another discussion.

Bed Time!

2008-02-11T11:37:00.000-05:00

I find bed time the hardest part of babysitting. When it comes to putting kids to sleep time just flies by so fast. I'm always afraid that the parents are going to be upset if they hear their kid didn't fall asleep till much after their bed time.

There's always those last minute things kids think of to get out of going to bed, whether its a drink, home work, a game, bathroom or a story. It just never ends. I learned you have to be tough and keep to the rules so the kids won't take advantage, but its hard. I figure I'll read them one story to get them to come to their room, but that never makes them happy they always want more.

I keep the kids company so they won't come out of their room, I lay down on the floor and make believe I'm going to sleep. Sometimes it works and the kids become quiet and fall asleep, and then sometimes they just keep on talking and calling me, so I answer them and tell them they have to go to sleep...

One time when I was putting a 3 year old to sleep, she had been my camper that summer so she was attached to me, so I laid down in the bed with her, I must have been really tired, cause I actually fell asleep! I woke up just in time, the parents came in and said they tried calling, I said I didn't hear anyone calling, I didn't say I fell asleep.

B"H that never happened again, I lay down on the floor so its not comfortable for me to sleep. Once they fall asleep, I'm afraid to wake them, so I move slowly to get up and I carefully go out of the room not to make any noise. Then comes the boring part of waiting till the parents come home.

Knock Knock

2008-02-10T17:31:00.000-05:00

One thing I've noticed from babysitting is that every house runs differently. One issue is with knocking before entering the house. I remember once hearing a halacha that you are supposed to knock before you enter a house even if its your own house.

One person I babysit for follows this halacha and she always knocks and waits to hear my response before she comes in so that I should be ready for her. Most of the time its night time and the kids are sleeping and I sit by the table doing homework or whatever it may be and its quiet so I hear the car coming so I know she will knock and I start to go to the door so she'll hear my footsteps and know she can come in.

A different person I babysit for, I have the key to the house so I can let the kids in after I pick them up from the bus stop and I stay with them for a while after the mother comes home. For some reason I never hear the mother come in, its all of a sudden I see her there and I'm like whoa where did she come from. Then I start to think of what I just said within that minute, maybe I did something wrong I didn't want her to overhear. (Like letting the kids have candy).

Then there's a different person I babysit for and she has a baby, so she doesn't want to come to the door with the baby, she's my next door neighbor, so she calls me when she wants me to come over, she leaves the door open a bit and goes to the living room with the baby till I come. So I usually knock on the door or ring the bell and she says I can come in.

Today, I don't know what I was thinking, but I saw the door open so I figured she opened it for me so I should just go in, I thought maybe the baby was sleeping so I didn't want to wake her by ringing the bell. So I go in the house, and I'm like "Hello". I thought she heard me but apparently not. All of a sudden she sees me and she's like "wow you scared me!". I'm like "oops". Everything was alright, but I think from now on I'm going to try to stick to knocking before I come in!

The Jumping Elephants

2008-02-09T19:42:00.000-05:00

This is a story I wrote in 10th grade for my creative writing class, we each got 2 letters and we had to think of a title with those 2 letters, mine were J and E, so I chose "Jumping Elephants". Recently I was reading a children's book and I realized how children's books are best at teaching lessons to kids, their the most educational books, and even adults can read them.

A new arcade game store was opening up for all the kids in the neighborhood. All the kids were so excited they all wanted to be the first one to play the new games. There was a huge line coming from the front of the store.

Inside they had all kinds of games but what was special about this store was the theme of the store: Jumping Elephants all the games had elephants in it. There was a bowling game but instead of regular bowling pins, you had to knock down little mini plastic elephant pins. All the games had something to do with elephants.

They were doing so well that all the stores wanted to put an animal theme to their store. The grocery store put the theme flying horses to their store. All the aisles were decorated with horses. The receipts had horses stamped on to it. This new idea attracted new customers. They were making a lot of money. Soon all the stores all over the world were named after animals, It literally became a zoo. All the stores had competition over whose animal theme was better.

One favorite animal that all the kids liked to act like was the famous monkey. Soon all the kids started acting like monkeys. At home, they were jumping on the furniture, making animal sounds, and eating like animals.

In school, the halls were filled with kids who just could not sit still and were making a ruckus. The teacher’s lost control over the students. All the kids wanted to learn about was animals and playing animal games.

All the adults got fed up, their children didn’t listen to them anymore.

They decided to make a rally against animal related stores. They went up and down the street closing down the new animal stores.

Later, the children came home and wanted to go play in the new store, The Jumping Elephants. When they got there, they saw it wasn’t there anymore, it closed down. They didn’t know what to do now that there was no animal stores. Then they heard a new game store was opening. This one, however, was a regular game store, just like the old ones used to be before The Jumping Elephants came to their neighborhood. They had a lot of customers, but at least it didn’t turn the whole world into a zoo.