"Why didn't you...?"
"I don't Care"
"How many times do I have to tell you not to..."
"I don't Care"
"What were you thinking when you..."
"I don't Care"
"What happened to..."
"I don't Care"
"When are you going to learnt to..."
"I don't Care"
"Why do you keep..."
"I don't Care"
Having an "I don't Care" attitude can be both good and bad. It can be bad because if you never care about anything then you'll never change. So long as a child doesn't care that they're doing poorly in school they'll never improve. Once they start caring about their grades or want to give their parents something to be proud of then they will put more effort into doing well.
It can be good in instances where children get picked on and bullied by other children. If they have a feeling of "I don't care" then they won't let what the other kids call them affect them in any way. Its a protective shield for them. Or when you have a rough day and things just don't seem to be going right. When you have an "I don't care" attitude, you won't carry the affects of your bad day onto others and instead you can turn your bad day into a good day and make others happy.
However, in the same way, people use the "I don't care" as a shield of defense for when they are being accused. It makes them feel less guilty. It's like their rejecting the accusations and making them null as if they don't exist, just by saying the magic words "I don't care".
Now these questions in themselves are not fair questions to ask children. Their in a predicament, they know what they did wrong, they feel guilty about it already. There is no reason to make the child feel more guilty, it will just make them resent you and feel angry and frustrated. Instead rephrase it in a way where its not told as an accusation. Instead of saying "you" say "I". Express how you feel about it. Say "I'm disappointed that...", "I would appreciate if...", "I know you can do better than...". This way they don't feel the need to defend themselves and yet still know the message you are trying to give them and they will change to make you happy, because you show you care.
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You do make good points. But the problem is that most parents don't care they just want to vent their frustrations on their children. How horrible.
ReplyDeleteVery good point, I see that too. Parents should question themselves before they blow up at their children if their really doing it to teach the child a lesson, or to get out their frustration.
ReplyDeleteParents will vent out many times not noticing that what they are doing is wrong. making the child feel even more guilty makes them blow.
ReplyDeleteI do care.
ReplyDeletegreat points you make.
ReplyDeleteyou should run a course on babysitting. you'll make a lotta $
Chnyock: Thank You!
ReplyDeleteWell I was thinking of giving parenting courses. I don't think any babysitters would take babysitter courses, but that is an interesting idea, a great one at that.
I completely agree with Chynock and you! Babysitting course or parenting courses. I'm slowly beginning to comprehend that if there's someone I need to speak to about being an incredible parent, it's you!! I've seen from your personality, your writing, and everything about you, that you will be the parent that every child who meets you will aspire to be. For some children it may be in retrospect, once they've matured somewhat and can appreciate you. Personally, I know that I'm going to want to read every single post on this blog (Maybe I'll take notes as well!) and really take your words to heart.
ReplyDeleteI honestly think that you would be a great "parent psychologist" lol. Preemptive measures usually work the best, so speaking to prospective parents would probably make a world of difference for them, and their children. Even without children you write about things that people who have been parents for years still haven't figured out! I'm impressed and humbled at the clarity with which you view children, parenting, and the dynamics of the relationship between the two. Good for you!
Catch ya later. :)
(Note: I'm practicing HTML purely from memory.. When I press the "Post Comment" button we'll see how my memory served me lol. Here goes nothing...)
Nice!! It worked both times that I used it! Woooohoooo lol... Now I need to learn something besides how to write italics haha.
ReplyDeleteShocked: Thanks! :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm really honored, I appreciate it!
I hope to be a great parent.
lol, yea I thought of becoming a "parent psychologist", though people wouldn't listen to a kid telling them what to do, so I would have to wait till I have my own. Yea, in a different post someone mentioned they should have a test before people can have a children to see if they can be good parents. So a parenting course should be like a required class, just like "chosson and kallah" classes.
Thanks so much!
lol, good job with the italics!