Thursday, June 12, 2008

Communication and Fear

There are two types of fears that stem from the same source- communication. One is the fear of the insane and the other is a fear of respected people.

In my naive opinion I feel there is no reason to be afraid of robbers, criminals or any other such harmful people , so long as they are sane. If a person has a brain that is working I feel there is hope to communicate to them  not to commit their evil act and escape freely. However, if the criminal is insane; mentally ill, then they are just as much dangerous as any other mentally ill person. Since they can not communicate properly. Their brains aren’t functioning so you can not convince them not to harm you.

Now, respected people can be completely sane and usually are since they need power and intelligence to be respected. However, because of the need to respect them they have an aura of fear around them. There is a disturbance of the ability to communicate with powerful people.

One such respected person can be a teacher. Teachers always tell parents at PTA that their children are excellent good kids, the trouble makers are exceptions. Now why is it that kids behave so well in school while at home they can be misbehaving. It is because in school children are taught to respect their teachers, they are afraid to be absent or late for the consequence. A child can be able to give a whole review lesson to its classmates before the test. However, when it comes to giving a speech in front of the class with the teacher there, it can become impossible. There is a fear toward the respected teacher.

That could be why we have to fear G-d, it signifies our respect. Among our peers, friends and families it may be easy to communicate since we are all on the same level. You don’t have to prepare a speech in advance, it just comes out naturally. Now, one can appreciate the power of Tefillah, of having a Siddur in front of you with all the words written for us.


  1. The tefillah part is true. Not so much the teacher part. It depends what school you went to. some have free for all and the teacher is not respected or feared. Others are more disciplined but the fear is of the principal.

  2. ok so in some school there may be no fear for the teacher, but like you said the reason for that is because the teacher is not respected. However, since the principal is respected the principal is feared. So it can apply to anyone that is respected, not necessarily teachers, could be professors...

  3. It's not so much respect as fear of punishment. The teacher can punish you and the principal can punish you, that's why you're afraid of them.

    You're dead wrong about criminals. Even though they're mentally competent, their morals and values are not same as yours. A criminal can view his victim as not human or as not on same level as him. It would, probably, be easier to deal with a mentally ill criminal as they would be easier to fool.

  4. I think I agree with Moshe. Also you might be able to convince someone who is a criminal but not so easily maybe with phsychology.

  5. Moshe: But what if your a good kid and you don't fear the punishment you can still be afraid of them. Or Police man, if you are a law abiding citizen there should be no reason to fear them, but you do out of respect because of their power. Same with the president. How will the president punish you? Yet you fear him out of respect, you wouldn't be able to have a normal conversation with him, like you would with a friend.

    Moshe and MikeInMidwood: Yea, I said it was my NAIVE opinion. You are probably right. But that's what helps me go through bad neighborhood without being scared. It gives me a reason not to fair specific races when I normally would.

    But actually now that I think about it, I'm right, cause it did happen once to me. I was walking down a block and then this guy with his friends were coming the other way. It was by a gate and this guy blocks my path and starts making weird faces trying to get my attention or something. I tried walking passed him but he just moved over and wouldn't let me through. So I looked him in the eyes to show I'm not afraid and I talked to him. I said to him "very nice, now you'll let me through" or something like that. His friends laughed, so he was doing it for their approval. But because I was able to talk to him I didn't feel afraid. After a few tries he finally just gave up and moved over.
    P.S. he was probably only 14 years old, so he was just a kid which might be another factor, but still.

  6. dude, you'd fear a pig because they abuse their power pretty often. And for president, to paraphrase 5th Element, "the president is an idiot." Yes, I would talk to him same as I would to a friend. Btw, biggest proof that obama gonna be president, he's already doing bushisms. Go on youtube and search for "obama states".

    I used to work in Brooklyn Navy Yard and would walk through projects on the way there, no big deal.

    Me and wife going to Tora Dojo Karate, wanna join?

  7. I wouldn't fear a pig for that reason, there's no reason to respect pigs, they play in the mud and are used to describe people in a negative way, so that's not the kid of power I'm talking about. Although if I were in a zoo where there were pigs, and the pigs weren't in pig pens but roaming free, then yes I'd be afraid of them, for the other reason, that they are insane, can't communicate. All animals practically fall into this category, except for pigeons, cats, squirrels and other animals that are always in the street.

    Ok, maybe not this president. Substitute "The President" with any president that was/is worthy, could be president of a company or a high ranking person that YOU DO look up to. President is just the typical one used. But you can think of any person who is your role model, someone you look up to. Then ask yourself if you would talk to them the same. Don't you guard yourself when your around them, and act in an extra careful way?

    No thanx, not my kinda thing.

  8. In case you didn't get the reference, a pig is a cop.
    And as for the animal itself, they're so cute!!! And a lot cleaner than cows or sheep.

    Doubt I'd be extra careful. I hate liars and lying and pretty much always behave the same. That's why when I'm drunk I'm still me.

    Not even interested in checking it out? In our dojo everyone's frum and it's nearby, Ocean and L.

  9. o, I didn't get that reference. I see what you mean now. So now to take that back, I'd say I wouldn't fear a cop so long as they're sane cause then I would be able to talk them out of it. But your right, as you get older you realize that they abuse their powers, so you loose your respect for them, and you start to look at them as regular people. Especially if you know people that are cops. So bad example.

    Yea, I don't mean to be double faced and act one way with some and another with others. But there is such a thing as being on your best behavior. It's still you, maybe not a comfortable you, but sometimes you sacrifice that. I'm not sure your kid is old enough for this yet, but when he gets older and you have company over, either on his own he will act different, or you might tell him to act different because of the company, out of respect for them. By different, I mean with good behavior and all that.

    This goes back to Shh...The Window is Open

  10. We have friends over every week, usually for both meals. Don't care how he acts and don't care how I act. They're coming for my food and to have fun and that's what we do. And when someone comes with kids, it's even more fun.


Now using inline comments, instead of the check box, Click the "Subscribe" link to receive follow up e-mails with comments.