Friday, March 14, 2008

Why I'm Not Majoring in Special Ed

I love kids, and I always have. I also love helping people. Whenever I took those career tests, it always said I should be a nurse or something like that.

When I was younger, about 9 or 10 I thought about becoming a O.T. or P.T. This way my job would revolve around children. Then when I was about 11 or 12 I thought about becoming a psychologist, because I used to listen to Dr. Joy Brown on the radio, and sometimes I came up with the same answers as her, and sometimes I thought I knew better solutions. But it amazed me to be able to help people in that way. Then to be a school psychologist would be the best, cause then I'd be able to help children because I felt I understood then so much. I would always take the side of the children.

When I was in High School, I started thinking more seriously about what kind of job I would want. There were a few problems with the ones I thought of when I was younger.

One thing is I'm afraid of special people, so I wasn't sure I would be able to be a good therapist. Now by saying this I don't mean to put them down or anything. Special people are great, therefore their called "special".

I have this one family, where I feel like its my second home. I love the kids, and when I babysit there, I don't feel like I'm babysitting, I feel like their my siblings. Anyways I used to go there very often on shabbos to play with the kids, and on yom tovim. There was just one problem, they had an aunt who was special and she would come with the grandparents to their house on Succos and Pesach. So whenever she would come to their house, I wouldn't go there. I've tried a few times over coming this fear and going there anyways, I haven't been 100% successful yet.

When I was in 8th grade, a new Hasc house opened up on my block, and different fathers would take turns making kiddush there. One week my father went, I was seriously thinking about going with him into the house. But I wasn't brave enough yet. So I didn't go. Then as the years went by, I got familiar with the ladies there, I would see them often, one of them I used to wave to every morning when I went to school, and it would make her so happy. Then recently I actually went into the house cause friends of mine were volunteering there, so I got to speak to them. I didn't feel an ounce of fear while I was there.

Anyways, today I saw this man who didn't look a 100%, he was jogging into the street when cars were still coming. Then he went behind some cars like he was hiding. The only logical reason I could think for doing such a thing, would be if there was a dog. So I looked around for a dog, I didn't see any. Meanwhile he had this funny expression on his face. Someone like that freaks me out.

Now back to the reasons why I didn't choose to be a therapist or a school psychologist. So one is because I would be afraid of the special children. But then another reason is I was thinking about the future. I was afraid that if I have a job that deals with children all the time it could tire me out and I won't have patience for my own children. I didn't want something like that to happen, so I figured a job where you work in an office or with your brain would be easier than a physically tiring job.


  1. have you ever thought about why they scare you?

    I mean, do you really know what makes you scared of them? or have you just never been exposed to them?

  2. I am with you all the way on this one. I can't see myself working with special people. One of he reasons I feel this way though, is because of my world view. Everyone should be able to help themselves. Special people really don't fit my world view. Even kids that are very young will one day grow into something responsible. Where is the hope for greatness when teaching someone who will for all intense and purpose will always be who thay are today?

  3. I really don't know why they scare me. Its just the general fear of the unknown. Either because I never really dealt with them. Or because I'm afraid of what they may do next.

    If I was exposed to them more, then maybe I wouldn't be afraid. But I doubt that.

  4. that's sad, you have a big enough heart that maybe they could use someone like you.

  5. Maybe, but I think they also need someone tough. I wouldn't be able to be tough, I give into children very easily, so I wouldn't be teaching them anything.

  6. Not everyone can help everyone else. Just as you would not get married to someone unsuitable because it is a chessed, so too should you not choose a profession that does not suit you because it is a chessed.

  7. some people are scared of the dark like me.

  8. I think that most people who are afraid of special people have no idea of who they are and what they are doing here.

    You might want to read a book called "Galia" before you encounter anyone like that. HaShem has arranged in our day for some extremely special people to communicate with us -- and their message is very important.

  9. Anonymous: That could be I don't know who they are. But I do know they are special and have messages to send us and can be great people, and on a greater level than us.

    I'll make a note to check that book out, thanks.
    I understand they can have important messages for us.

  10. Childish-
    Special people don't fit your world view?
    And what else in G-d's complete world does not fit your world view?

  11. I think world view was the wrong wording. What I meant was, I can't see myself in their shoes. I can't see myself as a special person and therefore I can't empathize with what they are going through in life. I personally can't see how I can be of help to someone who's mental condition prevents them from developing.

    What else on God's perfect world doesn't fit my world view? Many things. I don't question why God does what he does, I'm sure he has his reasons for doing what he does. What I can do is choose what and where to involve myself in.

    I choose to involve myself in things that I feel will bring about an impact. Dealing with people who are mentally challenged, and therefore considered special, doesn't fit in my world view.

  12. So it's all about how you feel. What makes you feel good, what makes you feel accomplished, what makes you feel active.

    Does kindness fit into your world?

    If special people didn't fit into your world, G-d wouldn't have put them there...


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