The Staircase of Life

There are two ways to climb the staircase of life. You can either push the other person down, and thereby come out on top. Or you can actually climb to the next step and succeed on your own to come out on top.

Some children feel they have to put others down in order to feel good about themselves. I see many times when children are jealous of each other, for one getting a prize and not the other, the child will say "well I don't care, I don't like it anyways". Trying to make themselves feel good about not getting the prize, as if the prize is nothing to them. Thereby, lessoning the enjoyment of the child who actually did get the prize. Then there are those children that will actually feel happy for the other child. These types are adorable, they act like little adults cheering the other on.

When there is a contest going on, the "Pushers"- the ones who push other kids down to make themselves higher- will report those children that were cheating, thereby showing their innocence and making themselves look good. However, the "climbers"- the ones who will climb up to the next step to come out on top- will put in the most effort they can to win the contest.

The way a person is in childhood, whether they are a "pusher" or "climber" stays with them into adulthood. There are those that always feel they have to correct others to show their smarter than them, or put down and criticize others to feel good about themselves. Then there are those that accomplish good things on their own.

Purposely by Accident.....I TOLD YOU SO!

Most accidents happen unintentionally. Nobody wants to purposefully fall off a building, drown, or get into a car accident, (unless their suicidal). Children are the same way. However, some times I feel like their putting themselves in danger that they can avoid.

When the kid I babysit is running down the block and I tell her not to run cause then she will fall. She will say, but I won't fall. So then I say of course you don't want to fall, but no body falls on purpose, its an accident, and by running you may fall. But of course she doesn't understand this concept yet. So when she did run, and fell and her knee started bleeding, she was crying and made me carry her. I carried her to the house, and the whole time I felt like saying, I told you so, but I didn't.

One time the kids wanted an apple, and they like it peeled, so I took out the peeler to peel it. Then one kid said she wanted to peel her fruit, I told her its dangerous and she may hurt herself. But the same thing happened, she said she will be carefull and won't hurt herself. I let her peel it, she was doing a good job. The mother came home then, and she hadn't got hurt, I was relieved. But then a few minutes later after the mother saw she was peeling the apple, and let her peel it, then the peeler slipped and she cut her finger.

Again, the same thing, no one plans to get hurt, everyone says "I won't get hurt". But if you put yourself in danger, and there's a chance of getting hurt, then its no longer an accident. It could be called on purpose, because you did it knowing you might get hurt.

Germs

If you ever watch a child throughout an entire day its amazing how much germs they come in contact with and put in their mouth. Its surprising it doesn't harm them. Most children, when they come home from playing outside, they never wash their hands. Unless their mother trained them real well. Most children, will just go straight to eating their snack or food.

The kids I babysit for have this rule in their house, that as soon as they come home they have to go to the bathroom and then wash up. They also take off their socks or tights so that they shouldn't slip on the floor. Everyone has different rules when it comes to this. Most people I know of where their shoes till they go to bed. Some will change to slippers. But people always have something on their feet. I think I once heard that your not supposed to go around the house without shoes cause then its like your mourning.

When I was in shul, even though I wasn't babysitting anyone, I still notice these children and watch out for them. I've seen a lot of kids lick metal chairs. Now that must have a lot of germs on it. Yet the mothers see the kids doing this and they don't stop them, so I figure its a normal thing. One kid was moving a chair, and she had her hand between two chairs, it looked like she was going to smash her hand, that it will get caught between the 2 chairs, so I tapped the mother, and showed her what her kid was doing. Then she said Thanx, but not to worry, her daughter always gets her hand stuck in things, she closed the door on it a few times.

Anyways, when I think of germs, I think of it as bad, that I would want to avoid it at all times. I keep a hand sanitizer on me all the time, encase I want to eat something, or if I'm coming off the city bus. Imagine how many germs come from there, its like a factory of germs. People sneeze, wipe their nose on their hands and then hold the bars, its just gross.

Then I was thinking about it. I realized it might not be so bad for these children to come into contact with germs. Think of a playgroup, all the kids sharing the same toys. Germs for them can be good, because then they can become immune to it. In order for germs not to harm them when their older, they first need a dose of it when their younger.

Hashem Please Help!

Its so sad on purim day for such a thing to happen. A child was crossing the street when a car went in reverse very fast and hit him. The glass came out of the car, and the 14 year old child was hurt really bad. The Hatzolah's came right away. The amubulance, fire truck, and police car came about 10 minutes later. They cleaned up the broken class and hosed down the blood.

I feel really bad for the family. It brings tears to my eyes to think about it. I hope the child gets better and has a refuah shelaima.

I'm asking everyone, whoever reads this to please say Tehillim for him. His name is Binyomin Shimon Ben Yehudis Leah.

Reverse Roll

Sometimes I feel like the kids I babysit are my little "Mommy" that their taking care of me, rather than me taking care of them. Its amazing how much kids notice and understand. This one kid especially takes notice of everything. When I came one day wearing new clothes, she said "You look so cute, I never saw you wear that". Its funny to hear it coming out of a 6 year old, when I'm usually the one telling the kids that.

The kids always look out for me. Whenever they are eating something, they offer me. They ask me to eat supper with them, I usually decline. Two times I actually ate supper with the family, but it felt weird as if I was intruding on their family time.

Anyways, two days ago, one kid offered me some alef-beis shaped pretzels that she was eating. I told her I can't eat anything cause I hurt my mouth. So that settled that for then. Then yesterday the mother had supper for the kids and then she asked me if I wanted and I said no thanx. Then a kid chimes in and said "She can't eat because she has a boo boo in her mouth". I was surprised the kid remembered from the day before. The mother thought the kid was making up a story because I hadn't said anything about it to her. *

Kids are just like little angels sometimes, the perfect helper. Sometimes I even depend on the kids. It makes it such a help to babysit a family with kids old enough to help. When I babysit by a new place I usually don't know where anything is or how the house runs, and I would ask the kid where things are, or if their allowed to do certain things, and they usually answer truthfully.

I actually never knew how to make a bottle till I started babysitting. The parents assumed I knew how, and I was left with a container of formula powder and a bottle. I had no clue what to do with that. The 4 year old taught me how to make a bottle. Since then whenever I go to their house I always make the bottle for the kids.

Ends up being I went to the dentist today and got a wisdom tooth pulled out. The dentist had to give me 8 shots so that it wouldn't hurt. In the beginning when he touched my mouth in the area that it hurt I was crying. Then at the end when it was over he said he was sorry for making me cry and he asked me if I'm still his friend, I nodded my head yea. I canceled 3 babysitting jobs for today!

Swiss Strolli Rider

Yesterday while I was waiting by the school bus stop I saw a mother pass by with a Swiss Strolli Rider I'm not sure if this is the same one, but the general concept is the same. This is a great idea for a stroller. You get to have the baby in the stroller and the 2 or 3 year old can "ride his bike" but yet you don't have to worry about him going in the street and keeping an eye on him. There's always that 2 or 3 year old that wants to go in the stroller too, and is too lazy to walk. So here's the perfect solution. They could sit on a bike which makes them feel more grown up. This "bike" could clip on to any stroller. The bike is also a little to the side of the stroller, so it doesn't get in the way of the mother pushing it.

Why I'm Not Majoring in Special Ed

I love kids, and I always have. I also love helping people. Whenever I took those career tests, it always said I should be a nurse or something like that.

When I was younger, about 9 or 10 I thought about becoming a O.T. or P.T. This way my job would revolve around children. Then when I was about 11 or 12 I thought about becoming a psychologist, because I used to listen to Dr. Joy Brown on the radio, and sometimes I came up with the same answers as her, and sometimes I thought I knew better solutions. But it amazed me to be able to help people in that way. Then to be a school psychologist would be the best, cause then I'd be able to help children because I felt I understood then so much. I would always take the side of the children.

When I was in High School, I started thinking more seriously about what kind of job I would want. There were a few problems with the ones I thought of when I was younger.

One thing is I'm afraid of special people, so I wasn't sure I would be able to be a good therapist. Now by saying this I don't mean to put them down or anything. Special people are great, therefore their called "special".

I have this one family, where I feel like its my second home. I love the kids, and when I babysit there, I don't feel like I'm babysitting, I feel like their my siblings. Anyways I used to go there very often on shabbos to play with the kids, and on yom tovim. There was just one problem, they had an aunt who was special and she would come with the grandparents to their house on Succos and Pesach. So whenever she would come to their house, I wouldn't go there. I've tried a few times over coming this fear and going there anyways, I haven't been 100% successful yet.

When I was in 8th grade, a new Hasc house opened up on my block, and different fathers would take turns making kiddush there. One week my father went, I was seriously thinking about going with him into the house. But I wasn't brave enough yet. So I didn't go. Then as the years went by, I got familiar with the ladies there, I would see them often, one of them I used to wave to every morning when I went to school, and it would make her so happy. Then recently I actually went into the house cause friends of mine were volunteering there, so I got to speak to them. I didn't feel an ounce of fear while I was there.

Anyways, today I saw this man who didn't look a 100%, he was jogging into the street when cars were still coming. Then he went behind some cars like he was hiding. The only logical reason I could think for doing such a thing, would be if there was a dog. So I looked around for a dog, I didn't see any. Meanwhile he had this funny expression on his face. Someone like that freaks me out.

Now back to the reasons why I didn't choose to be a therapist or a school psychologist. So one is because I would be afraid of the special children. But then another reason is I was thinking about the future. I was afraid that if I have a job that deals with children all the time it could tire me out and I won't have patience for my own children. I didn't want something like that to happen, so I figured a job where you work in an office or with your brain would be easier than a physically tiring job.

Coats

I noticed that children do not like wearing coats. I think it gives them a sense of freedom to have their coat off, so their not bundled up. There were a few days when it was nice outside but still a little chilly, yet the kids didn't feel the cold, they wanted to take their coats off. They would stuff their coats in their knapsack. Then even though they started feeling the wind, they refused to give in and say they were cold.

Then I see parents too don't like wearing coats, usually the fathers, they go outside in the freezing cold talking on their cell phones in just a thin white shirt as if its summer time.

Then there's also the hats and hoods. Most kids are embarrassed to wear hats or hoods. They'll wear it till their 3 years old cause their mother puts it on them. But once they turn 3 or 4 and start to have a sense of understanding, they don't want to wear a hat anymore. Which really contradicts itself, cause if they would understand that it keeps them warm then they would wear it. But yet there's something about hoods, kids just don't like them. Although the kids I babysit, listen to their mother when she tells them to put their hood on, so their good about that.

Even older people, when they buy a coat, usually buy one without a hood. I find it so convenient for a coat to have a hood, in case it rains, or just to stay warm in the winter. But then theres those boys who wear hoods on their sweat shirts all the time, even indoors. I think they like the mysterious feeling to it.

Noises

Last night I went babysitting while the kids were sleeping, so I brought some stuff to study. As I was sitting on the couch reading my notes I all of a sudden started hearing noises. I heard this song playing "o, dreidle dreidle dreidle, I made you out of clay...". I thought maybe the kid woke up and pressed some button which played the song, but I checked and the kid was fast asleep. So then I thought maybe it was coming from my cellphone somehow, so I checked, but it wasn't from there. Then I thought maybe its coming from the couch, so I picked up the coushins, nothing was there. So then I thought I must be imagining the sound, so I ignore it, after all it was just a low sound. I thought it was weird for me to imagine such a song now but I figured there's no other possible reason. Unless maybe it was coming from the parents room, but that would be strange.

Then all of a sudden I started hearing a different song, it was this boy singing, and I've never heard the song before so I couldn't have imagined it. This time the sound was louder. Then all of a sudden it clicked, the music was coming from downstairs. They had a tenant who lived downstairs that was playing music.

Its strange, cause whenever I babysit I'm always conscious of all the sound, listening out if a kid wakes up or cries. So every time I hear a little noise I jump and wonder where its coming from.

One time I was babysitting somewhere else and all of a sudden I hear huge banging noises, I got so scared, I thought maybe a robber was trying to come in. It sounded like it was coming from the windows, I picked up the shade and didn't see anything. The noise went away after a while. When the parents came home I told them I heard this loud banging noise and they told me not to worry that it was the sound the steam makes. So now when I hear that noise I know its ok and I recognize it.

Then Today I was babysitting by my attached neighbor's house, and it was amazing how I heard every noise in my house, people marching up and down the steps, talking and everything. But yet when I'm on the other side of the wall, in my house, I never hear a thing from my attached neighbor's house.

Personal Request from Mindy

We all know what has happened today at Yeshivat Mercas HaRav. Eight yeshiva students, five high schoolers and three yeshiva gedola students, were killed in cold blood by an Arab with a kippa.

PLEASE, we cannot let this go on without this changing us in some way. We must do two things:

FIRST: in whatever way you can, fight against this injustice. Whenever you see any slanted media reporting, write a letter to the editor. Write or call the White House about Jonathan Pollard or Darfur. Check Israeli websites EVERY DAY and subscribe to their email list to keep up on the news. Comment on their sites. Comment on blogs. Call politicians. Hashem gave us free choice, and we have the power to change the world if we so will it.

SECOND: we have to look within ourselves and our society and find what it is that is faulty within us. Whether it is society at large- and there is no lack of that- or ourselves as a whole, WE MUST CHANGE, or there will be no end to the tragedy! The Ribono Shel Olam is looking down at us from shamayim and waiting to see our reaction when we are killed and trampled on. And this is why I am begging you to please do two thing:

ONE- to take on a kaballah, any kaballah, that you will do something to end the tragedy within us- whether it is an email to the White House to free Jonathan Pollard every day, whether it is davening every day, whether it is spreading ahavas chinam in klal Yisrael- TAKE ON SOMETHING to show Hashem that we really care, and do not live our lives in our bubble. Look within yourself to see what it is that Hashem wants you to be and begin working on that goal.

TWO- START SAYING ACHEINU every day. Stand up and say it in shul, school, on the train, wherever there are Jews who belong to our nation. This cannot go on forever. We must stop this and bring forth the Mashiach already.

***Enough is enough.***

Please daven for the injured:

Naftali ben Gila
Yonatan ben Avital
Shimon ben Tirza
Nadav ben Hadas
Reuven ben Naomi
Elchanan by Zehava

and say Tehillem for them and those who tragically were killed. Also tragic is the attack on Israeli soldiers this morning, and Rabbi Segal's death.

Tens of rockets fall on Sderot each day. We cannot let this go on!

Mercas HaRav's address is mercaz@mercaz.org

Hamakom Yinacheim Osom Misoch Avlei Tzion V'Yerushalayim.

Personally, Mindy Friedlander

Please pass this on.

Personality

There's this one kid I see every day walking home from public school when I go to the bus stop of the kids I babysit. This kid really intrigues me. He used to have died blond hair with black hair, with a really messy hair cut. The hair lengths were uneven and it wasn't even layered properly. Then recently he redyed his hair and now its blue and green with black. With the same messy hair style that doesn't even make sense.

I'm confused why this child would have a hair cut like this. He looks about the age of 11 or 12 not old enough to be in the rebel stage. Could his mother do this to him? or its something he wants to stand out? He looks like a good kid by looking at his face. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to have a conversation with him. He's always on the other side of the street so I never got a chance to say anything to him. I don't know if I should, but I wonder why his hair is like that. I wouldn't say anything straight out to him, but through conversation....

Also this kid is a responsible kid, he used to walk home this 6 year old and cross streets with him to bring the kid home. So people trust him with their kids.

Its really intriguing... Is it just a way to show off his personality and stand out?

Curious Children

This one family I babysit by, the kids have taught me a lot of stuff. A little while ago when R' Shmuel Birnbaum was niftar the boy came home from school and told me that R' Birnbaum "went to Hashem". I thought that was such a smart thing to say.

Death can be a very scary thing for children if they understand it, and for some it can be too hard to grasp. Telling a child that the niftar went to Hashem is so Brilliant. This way even thought its sad they know the person is with Hashem. They learn about Olam Habah this way without it getting too complicated. They learn to value who Hashem is, in addition to the regular lessons of Hashem is watching over everything you do. They would yearn to do the right things to be with Hashem.

Then by the same family, the kids were so excited their mother's cousin was going to have a baby, they wanted to tell their 3 year old cousin about it. The mother said not to tell the 3 year old because she won't understand it. She will come to her mother every day asking her where the baby is, she won't be able to wait so long for the baby and she'll get fed up.

"Who Babysits Who?"

I don't know what it is about me, but everyone says I look so young. Whenever I meet knew people they always ask "What grade are you in" so then I say I'm in college, then they tell me I look so young. It happened a million times.

Then in class my professor asked if any body has kids, so then one person said she had a 16 year old, so then my professor was shocked and told her she thought she looked like a 18 year old, she couldn't believe it, it happens to be this lady did look really young.

Anyways, last night in class I was talking to some girls, and they were talking about jobs. So then one asks me what I do. So I said I don't really work but I babysit every day. So then she says to her friend "Who babysits who?" So at first I didn't hear right, so I asked her if she had a baby, so then she said no that I look like a kid so she wanted to know who does the babysitting.

I don't get offended when people think I'm younger than I am. But I wonder what it is about me. But then my father also looked young, when he got married in his 20's he looked like he was bar mitzvah age, so could be genetic. Even now he B"H doesn't have any white hair and he's not bald yet, so I guess at that age it starts to come in handy to look young.