Most times when I go to babysit at night, if its not my neighbors, then the father drives me home. Or sometimes even picks me up and brings me to the house. Now the question is, where am I supposed to sit? I never know if I'm supposed to sit in the front or the back, cause its a man driving. By one person I got in the habit of sitting in the back, cause it was the first time someone drove me. But then when its new people I never know. If there are car seats then I sit in the front because there is no where else to go. But I'm never sure if they'll feel comfortable with me sitting in the front. When my boss was giving me a ride to his house to babysit, I assumed he wanted me to sit in the back, but then he said I should come to the front, that I don't have to sit in the back.
Then there's another issue of conversation, I'm never sure how I'm supposed to speak to them, although because their married it makes it 100 times easier. I let them talk, sometimes they ask questions, like how school is going and then I answer. Some people put on the radio. Then others just talk about random stuff and I listen and comment here and there. But I never start conversation, unless I'm really comfortable with them.
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I know what you mean. In my community there are only certain people I'm very comfortable getting a ride from (the rebbetzin and rabbi mostly) and others I'm not so much, but from time to time I end up getting a ride from one of them too.
ReplyDeletebut I generaly wait to see which door they unlock, or which seat they tell me to take, and its always the front one. Always, whether male or female.
and its definitely uncomfortable talking to the women (save the rebbetzin, which is uncomfortable for quite a different reason... such as it always is when someone's opinion is quite important to you).
but y'know, actualy halachicaly its more problematic to talk to married people than to single, which often seems to get ignored.
In the talmud I have once seen at least one citation directly about married women talking to unmarried boys, but never any about unmarrieds talking to unmarrieds.
I just didn't talk- men aren't usually big talkers anyway.
ReplyDeleteYoni: yea, my brother also told me that its worse for married people than single people. But just in my mind, because their unavailable I feel like I don't have to worry about what they think of me, cause they wouldn't be looking at me the same way single men do. (It could be all in my mind). But the same way with more modern people, I find it easier to talk to Magen David and Yeshiva of Flatbush guys, then chofetz chaim or torah v'das guys.
ReplyDeleteMindy: lol, You would be surprised, one married guy that was in a bunch of classes with me, he's 30 years old and he is the biggest talker I've ever seen, he talks to me about everything, and I mean everything! He talks about his wife and kids in DETAIL!
We're talking excpeptions here, and not the rule... :)
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